Day 397: Stuff

StuffHow many Items, useless things, trinkets do we have just laying around our homes as props, just filling up space, I mean most of these do dittoes are memory collectible, where I remember being at this place and getting this and that at that place when I was there and then, when I went over there I got that and this would look good over here and if we place that there, then it’ll bring out the energy in this room, I mean we have so much space to put Stuff, so let’s get more Stuff, which means you probably have too much space, me to, I’ve never been partial to having a big place, a big house, damn I was raised in a big house (at least what it seemed to be growing up), matter a fact, I’ve had my share of big places in the past, and believed it to be the only way I could be comfortable, with leg room and a lot of Stuff. We call this Stuff interior design, which for most part, nothing being wrong with it, if that’s what we do, that’s just what we do, I just so happen to see this point and wanted to open it up and investigate my relationship to Stuff. So here we go;

Growing up we had this miniature porcelain statue that sat in the middle of our coffee table in the living room of our home, that has been broken and put back together at least 1000 time throughout my tenure growing up in that house, I mean without any pieces missing. My first time discovering that it had already been broke was, me running around the coffee table playing and accidently knocking it over and it breaking into like 50 pieces, where I then started crying because I knew I would be in trouble, if my mom found out, because she always told us not to play in the living room, because we might break some Stuff and so when you tell a child not to do something when you turn around they’ve forgotten and do it anyway, so after all the “OOHHHH’s” and “Ima telling momma’s” coming from a few of my other siblings, my older brother consoled me and told me not to worry and went in the kitchen and got the crazy glue out the drawer and came back and fixed it as if it was brand new, and as I was watching him, I noticed that it had been broken before, which stopped me from going into anxiety, because now if someone said something, I could say that it was already broken, but nobody said anything, as it was bound to get broken again (and it did), but that was the first time I really took notice to Stuff; From then on and so in my portion of a room, I started putting Stuff up, in and around it everywhere, and called it “My Stuff”, my room, my bed, mine, mine, mine and for most part we didn’t mess with each other’s Stuff, unless it was Toys which is a different story all together.

As I grew older I acquired more Stuff, but oddly enough, I acquired Stuff only relevant to what I wanted to do when I grew up, most of that I couldn’t do, for example I had a few posters on my wall, one (1) of a famous football player, another of Magic Johnson a famous basketball player, and the other one was a Marine Corp poster, now I knew that I couldn’t play football professionally, because it was against our religion and loved playing basketball, but again professionally the church wouldn’t allow it, so the only thing left was the Marine Corp that became my focal point of interest and exit route, out of Flint town an into the world.

I couldn’t take any Stuff with me, which was cool because, I was imagining all the Stuff I would get myself into, so once I got to my duty station in Hawaii, I notice all of these guy had accumulated Stuff and what I saw a lot of, was Stereo System with Kenwood Speaker, that was the in thing back then, an although I imagined myself with a Stereo System, Stuff didn’t really appeal to me at that time, because all I wanted to do was travel, and by travelling, there would be no place that I would be able to keep my Stuff, so what’s the use of having a lot of Stuff, with no were to keep it, I thought.

Getting close to the end of my Military tenure, I started thinking; “Man I’m not going to have any Stuff to show for the money I made”, but by then it was a bit too late, if I wanted to buy something I should have had it already; but by having these thoughts, got me back on the getting and having Stuff train (per se), where now (after the military) my interest turned to Music; Dancing, Djing and Producing Music, and from there I started accumulating more Stuff, records upon records, upon records, to a point where I had between two (2) to four (4) thousand records and what happen to those, they all got stolen because first off, I was too attached to them and I was careless by leaving them elsewhere, then came the music equipment, Mixing Boards, Sound Modules, Compressors, Limiters, Digital Auto Tape Machines, Instruments, Guitars, Basses, Keyboards etc., which I lost once again by being too concerned with having a lot of Stuff and forgetting to take care of my responsibilities, Ummm like maintaining a place to keep my Stuff, a roof over my head, which I then had to pawn all my Stuff to keep a roof over my head and lost that to.

This Stuff was known as my material possessions, which possessed me until I lost it all and found myself back at square one, with just a few things left, it wasn’t till after I found Desteni, did I realize the necessity of letting go of all my attachment and detach myself for my material possession as I am responsible for who I am and what I let define me, I mean the definition of myself was all the Stuff I had around me, but separate from me to the point of parading it/showing it off to people for a cheap thrill of an energetic rush until the rush busted and I lost all me Stuff; What I now see/realize/understand is that it’s not the Stuff that’s uncool, but our relationship to it that make us the fool, if we define ourselves by the Stuff we have.

Lesson well learned not to get caught up in/with all the Stuff you have, as this is not who we are, but to bar ourselves from being Mind possessed by our material possessions as it will; be here today and gone tomorrow and all that will remain is you and the consequences you’ve accumulated for defining yourself by the Stuff you have.

If your life is getting to Stuffy Investigate HERE.

Desteni.org

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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