Day 379: Mon-Me (Money)

Mon-meMy relationship with money hasn’t always been the best and still now, although it has improved dramatically, it’s not at the place where I would like it to be, where it becomes my first nature to save what’s needed to be save, spend only what’s needed to be and of course get to the point where, I’m not getting down to my last chunk of change and start stressing out, giving myself anxiety; Now interestingly enough growing up money really didn’t mean much to me, being that I really never wanted for anything, I mean even all the way up until I left home, one reason behind this is because I was always being enabled, so I really didn’t have to ask any of my other friends for anything, but things changed when the enablement stop, it was almost like being thrown into the deep end of the pool with no life vest and told to sink or swim, when the only lessons you’ve had was watching others dog paddle/handle their business, take care of their responsibilities, I even used to sit back and say to myself; “Man I wish I was like that person is with money” and “Someday I’ll be like that”, then get motivated and mimic them for just about a week or so then find myself reverting back to my old ways of being irresponsible with money.

What I realized is that we pay no attention to money (outside of the necessities) unless, until that something or someone comes into our life that we want to spend it on, but until then we could care less about how we look, how much money we got, I mean because you’re really not stressing unless you really don’t have Nothing to eat (Like at least a third of the worlds population), other than that our stressing is because we’re not able to have fun or impress that someone he/she as we have told them and/or promised them something.

I’ve been told and I’m sure others probably have to that; “You’re bad with money” and for most part it’s true in the sense of, I would blow my responsibility money on the pursuit of happiness/having fun (as per my self-definition of the phrase), also obviously I didn’t really give a shit about money, being that whenever I had it, if someone needed something and I saw it within my means to give them in that moment, I would get it for them, I mean I did that a lot to my own detriment sometimes, but if it meant the other person would be ok and happy, then I was fine with that and of course dealing with the mind always Afterwards the thoughts would then come up; ”Oh cool, maybe they’ll tell others that I’m cool”, but never during, strange, it was like second nature to say ok what do you need or want.

Another thing that tickles my fancy (per se) is how could people hold onto all that money and tell somebody; “I’m broke” and you look at them like ‘Huh, especially when they’re just saying it out the blue, in a conversation where no one is asking them for shit, I mean is it a future reference of sort for those around or is it the beginning of manifesting brokenness onto yourself through the fear of being broke, if so then ask yourself where did this picture, this Ideal, these thoughts come from, of; “If I don’t say that I’m broke, then I’m going to be broke”, then turn around and spend it only on the things you like and forget about your fellow man, because it’s my money and I can do what I want with it, I can burn it if I want to and you can’t do anything about it. Well obviously the time will come when such a person has to wear the shoes they’ll placed on someone else’s feet, but until that day comes greed does not come cheap.

So all and all I’ve grown not to like money, but learned that I have to deal with it in order to survive and money is such a touchy subject, being that it will destroy your friendships, any relationships, partnership, business-ships or any ships in the Mediterranean for that matter, if you only owe me a dollar, as for my estranged relationship to/with money it has gotten better as per not letting it define and/or control me through emotions and feelings and what really opened it up is the Mind Construct I’m currently working on, where I’m able to see my patterns with money, having it and the lack there of, which helps me to get off of; The me as Mon-me (Money) and direct money as per what is best for all life, which includes me. And also This Interview (An Emotional Relationship with Money) by Sunette Spies has assisted me as well, I suggest to have a listen.

Learn how to build an effective relationship with money starting HERE (The Soul of Money) on EQAFE

Thanks for reading.

Desteni.org

Advertisements

About carltontedford

In Process.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s