What I have come to realize is that nothing can be solved in the mind with backchat and internal conversation, it takes physical verbal communication to resolve any situation. Now it’s pretty interesting the word re-solve, (re) meaning to do over again as in to solve again, which would imply it being a re-occurring situation (which means you really didn’t solve it the first place) and if you really look at it = how many times do I have to go down the same road and get to the end and realize I’m back at square one, the beginning and have to re-solve the problem again? Evidently, the way I am going about solving the problem isn’t yielding a viable solution but only a quick fix, the band aid effect on a deep seated womb.
How many time have you given up on solving a puzzle growing up, I mean the puzzle where you connect what seems like a thousand pieces that all look the same? In the beginning it doesn’t seem to make sense, but after you have a closer look at the actual pieces you start to see a pattern within the different colors and shapes and how they all fits together, that’s called investigation, which we don’t do when faced with a real life situation/problem/puzzle of sorts, our perceived remedy can go to the extremes such as yelling screaming, fighting each other, disassociating ourselves from each other and so on and so forth, (no real communication) and in the end, the avenue we took didn’t solve anything, but only lead us down a dirt road so to speak, where we’ve made it harder for ourselves to clean up the situation, to even come close to a solution that would be best for the both parties involved as a complete re-solve, because the first time didn’t work.
The problem, I realized is that how can I solve anything, if I’m not willing to live the solution and what this practically means is, every solution that I’ve ever had for my problems, was all lip service, knowledge and information based, where I would just spew off at the mouth with what sounded good, which was probably viable, but I wasn’t willing to live by what I had said/was saying, but expected the other person to live by what I said and if they didn’t (knowing that I wasn’t living as a practical example myself) when the situation arose again I would spin it off on them, as them being the problem, the cause for, the head ache I would experience and not once investigate my participation within it all, therefore the problem and situation never completely got solved, but only lingered.
In other words, it would be like taking advantage of the situation because I had the knowledge and information to re-solve it, but wouldn’t follow through and live what I just spoke about and time and time again, I wondered why I kept going down the same road, within relationship, friendship, partnership and end up losing friends, partners and pissing people off, you see that’s the problem with knowledge and information that’s not lived, it can destroy you and your life and is useless, like listening to a broken record skipping at the same spot everytime you play it and when it get to that spot again, you just put the record away and forget about it, forget that it skips and bring it back out later on, play it again and watch it skip at the same spot. It’s repetitive nonsense, come on Carlton just buy a new record (hypothetically speaking), come up with a viable re-solve to the problem, fix it and most importantly Implementing yourself, because you are ½ if not all of the problem.
So what I had to realize is that one should never take advantage of the situation but advance beyond the situation, by facing it head on with self-honesty in taking a step back and laying it all out in front of you, that way you’ll see the different pieces and shapes of the puzzle, meaning, where was this problem conceived, what did you do / I do to escalate it, my participation within it and the moments leading up to it boiling over and by investigating these things you will be able to Solve = Solution’ to the problem.
Learn how you have been participating in escalating problems to no re-solve, learn about YOU HERE.