Day 358: Talk About Yourself

Talk-About-yourselfEverything I see and go through and have believed, experienced, in giving my perspective on it, that’s what I talk about, myself, my participation within and as it. The way we see things is different from the way others see things and for what it’s worth, some people do see the same things, but have different perspectives on what they are seeing and will tell you two sides of the same coin, so to speak, which is the way they see it.

Since I’ve been writing now for a while, I’ve realized that it’s way more easy to talk about yourself than to talk about someone else and/or any subject containing basic knowledge and information, I mean at times our explanations might not be the best, but then again who are we writing for? This brings up a memory when I first started the DIP Lite Course and I think we we’re told to just write what was on our minds and in my initial writing (which I had no idea how to write about myself), I then wrote “Who am I writing this to/for”, then was assisted by another individual who directed me to watch a vlog of someone else that was talking about, “I am the point of my existence” which then open my eyes to me seeing that it was for me, although I still didn’t quite grasp it, until I started writing Self-Forgiveness on what I was writing about and this is how I began to talk more about myself.

In reality (meaning in front of others) we seldom talk about ourselves, I mean almost never, unless it’s about, “Look at what I did” or “I did this or that” or “I’m in pain, so feel sorry for me” or “Look what I got, that you don’t have”, in making ourselves the center of attention and/or wanting to be seen as better/greater or more superior than others. But imagine here for a moment, if we were to talk about ourselves unconditionally to others, that would then make others comfortable in talking about themselves unconditionally with us, which would make all relationships in this world stronger, so for one more second if you will, you have a leader of a country that goes to meet a leader of another country and they share themselves unconditionally, with no thoughts, mind, emotion, feeling, backchat nor internal conversation when they leave, that would be the end to all Wars on this planet, wouldn’t you think and the world would be a better place, but it’s not that easy and it doesn’t work that way in this day and age, so back to reality.

Not wanting to been seen as the weaker person/being/man/women, is the most profound reason why we don’t talk about ourselves, my question is, “Compared to who”? When you really look at it, it’s all fear, fear of what I “Think” in my mind that the other person will thinks about me and/or what they will do against me that will “Embarrass” me for talking about myself and I can’t have that, because I haven’t gotten over my fear of others spiting me, as I would do to them, if given the chance to, so the cycle continues.

If you go into a restaurant or any public place and happen to pick up on any random conversation, you will notice and interesting thing, that is that everyone is always talking about someone else as the point of topic/subject matter, you’ll hear; “And they did this and that” and/or “This and that to me” which is a big one, I mean in looking back on all the conversations I’ve had in my past were about someone else, in some way or another, but it’s fascinating when you start noticing what you do through someone else doing the same thing, It makes you want to change and correct yourself in the sense of “Wow”.

So all and all the solutions for me was to first realize that I am the point of my existence, in this existence, meaning I chose to be here and secondly, that I am and have to walk this process alone, meaning no one else can or will walk my process for me, so it doesn’t matter what others think about you talking about yourself, it won’t change what you still have to walk as your process alone, by yourself, and last but not least, I realized that the more I talk about myself the less I think about what others are thinking about me and it makes my blog/post easier to write, where I don’t get stuck as much, not knowing what to say and write about, because I’m thinking about what others will think about what I write, because it’s everything about me and who knows what I experience better than me, no one, better than you, no one. Another thing is, the more you talk about yourself the more you get to know yourself, then forgive yourself for what you know that you have become, so for this;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought, who am I writing this for, in the beginning of my process with writing.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted sand allowed myself to then see/realize/understand, that I am writing for myself, that I am the point of my existence, so how I exist is what I’m writing about, so that I can see into me and change me to who I really am as life and live life to my utmost potential and do what’s best for all life, in all ways, always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in reality (in front of other) have seldom talk about myself, almost never, unless it was about, “Look at what I did” or “I did this or that” or “I’m in pain, so feel sorry for me” or “Look at what I got, that you don’t have”, in making myself the center of attention and/or wanting to be seen as better/greater or more superior than others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to talk about myself, shared myself unconditionally with others (in my past) enough for them to feel comfortable enough to talk about themselves, share themselves unconditionally with me (especially in my past relationships), although I do realize our gossiping nature as humanity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have not talked about myself or shared myself with others unconditionally in my past, because of not wanting to be seen as a weaker person/being/man, not realizing that this was because of fear, so within that; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have existed as the fear of what I “Think” in my mind that others will think about me and/or what they will do against me that will “Embarrass” me for talking about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have in my past, all my conversation have been about someone else, in some way or another. So;

When and as I see myself thinking who am I writing this for, in separating myself from seeing that it’s for me, as I have done in my past in the beginning of my process with writing, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that I am writing for myself and that I am the point of my existence, so how I exist is what I am writing about, so that I can see into me and change myself from what I have become to who I really am as life and live life to my utmost potential and do what’s best for all life in all ways, always. I commit myself to realizing, I am the point of my existence.

When and as I see myself fearing talking about myself/sharing myself with others unconditionally, through my writings and verbally to some, where I think in my mind about what the other person will think about me and then see myself as a weaker person if I was to let my guard down so to speak, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that it doesn’t matter what others think about what I write about and talk about myself me, because, I am the only one who can walk my process and have to walk my process alone for me and in doing so I am getting to know the me who I’ve made myself out to be, so that I can correct and change myself to be the best me I can be.

I commit myself to no longer using others as a scapegoat to not share me and learn me, but to face the me I am sharing, in caring for myself and leaving all else to their own process.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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