Day 351: Lay it All Out in Front of You

1Lay-i-a-o-i-f-o-yThroughout my life I have always saw things as different individual separate problem, not as a conglomeration of events that takes place in correlation with each other, that has built up over time and have accumulated to become this massive big problem, being the way I was living, what I was accepting and allowing to go on/happen within my life, unaware of what I was doing, so each time something would come up, I would see this something as being a standalone event (per se) and treat it as such by coming up with a quick fix solution for this ‘standalone’ event and go about my way until the next thing occurs, and so on and so forth, never getting to the root cause of the problem, so in essence never really solving any of my problems, just giving them the Band-Aid effect and sweeping them under the rug.

I mean if you really look at it, the extent of the separation that exist in this world and within my world and reality is/was extensive, to the point where I lived my life with blinders on, not considering the point of investigation and introspection in laying it all out in front of me, so that I could see the bigger picture of how everything, fit together and how each point was connected to the other and the next and the next point and ultimately how I created this all, where did it all start, who did I get this pattern/habit/behavior from, what is the root cause and of course how can I stop it. no this was beyond me in every way and back then even if I heard about laying it all out in front of you, I would have been even more lost and saw this as too much work to do.

Fast forward to date, while walking process, I’ve heard being said throughout my process plenty of time to just lay it all out in front of you, but still didn’t quite grasp the concept of what it actually means to lay it all out in front of you, because I was still in the frame of mind of seeing things as separate individual problems events, which in a way still blinded me from seeing the bigger/whole picture and how everything is connected to each other, meaning this is because of that, which caused this to happen and so on and so forth, in it’ specificity, so each point that I would walk through, I would see the surface of what the point intel and do my writing, self-forgiveness and corrective actions and commitment statements on this surface point, but then later on experience the same point over again and go through the process of doing the same thing over on the next part of the same point, and so on and so forth, until I would eventually get through the point and move on to the next one, which I realized is the prolonging of my process.

So I’ve been experiencing the feeling of being under the weather these last few days and the dreams I’ve been having, have been related to how things would be so much better if separation didn’t exist and in the dreams, I had started this business of sorts in a new society were not money was involved and I have a massive amount of clothes and other things where people would come in and get what they needed and leave and if they had something to drop off in exchange, they would do so, and another interesting thing within these dreams was that any time someone would emerge doing the same thing I was doing, but would seek compensation for what they were offering, I would shut them down and explain to them how, what they were doing, would cause division, separation and eventual conflict and that this was unacceptable in our society, which they then understood and agreed and stop using the compensation point.

All and all in the dreams, I was able to spread out with my hands and lay it all out in front of me, to where I could see the bigger picture of everything and could go in and pinpoint what I saw as a potential problem or problem brewing, trace it back to its root cause and eradicate it before it got out of hand and at that point I understood the complete meaning of; “Lay it All Out in Front of You”, So for this,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throughout my life have always saw things as different individual separate problem, not as a conglomeration of events that takes place in correlation with each other, that has built up over time and have accumulated to become this massive big problem, being the way I was living, what I was accepting and allowing to go on/happen within my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be unaware of what I was doing, so each time something would come up, I would see this something as being a standalone event (per se) and treat it as such, by coming up with a quick fix solution for this ‘standalone’ event and go about my way until the next thing occurs and so on and so forth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within doing this, never really get to the root cause of the problem, so in essence I never really solving anything of my problems, just giving them the Band-Aid effect and sweeping them under the rug until the next point of the same problem came up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live my life with blinders on, not considering the point of investigation and introspection in laying it all out in front of me, so that I could see the bigger picture of how everything fit together and how each point was connected to the other and the next and the next point and ultimately, how I created this all, where did it all start, who did I get this pattern/habit/behavior from, what is the root cause and of course how can I stop it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to while walking process have heard, to lay it all out in front of me, but not fulling grasp the concept of what it actually means to lay it all out in front of you, so each point I would walk through, I would only see the surface of what the point intel and do my writing, self-forgiveness and corrective actions and commitment statements on the surface point, but then later on experience the same point over again and go through the process of doing the same thing over on the next part of the same point, and so on and so forth, until I would eventually get through the point and move on to the next one, which I now realize was the prolonging of my process.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see the simplicity of laying it all out in front of you, as in stepping back and investigating, introspecting the bigger picture to see all the underlying points within the main points that comes up, so that when I go to do my writing, self-forgiveness, my corrective action and commitment statement, I will not have to go Back over the same point again, because I have laid it all out in front of me, saw the bigger picture, where it stemmed from, the root cause and how to solve it and corrected myself entirely on such a point.

When and as I see myself looking at points on the surface and only writing, applying self-forgiveness and doing my corrective action and commitment statements only on the surface point of what comes up, without laying it all out in front of me, to see the bigger picture of what’s really at play within this point and all its dimensions, so that I am able to once and for all release myself from this point to transcendence, where throughout my process thus far I have only prolonged my process by only doing one point at a time within a point, when I could have seen all the point and dimension within a point and taken care of all the underlying point attached to the main point by laying it all out in front of me, but I didn’t, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that in not laying it all out in front of me, I was prolonging my process where although I would eventually get through a point, it would take me some time in having to keep going back over different parts within the same point, when all I had to do was to lay the point all out in front of me to get the bigger picture of what the point intel in its entirety and back track it to the root cause of the problem and dig up the old roots and plant new seed that will become roots as the tree of life. So I commit myself to laying it all out in front of me, each time something comes up as a point where I can see clearly what’s at play and walk myself back to the root cause and digging up the old root and planting new seeds that becomes roots as the tree of life, within and as me.

I commit myself to no longer prolonging my process, but instead to lay it all out in front of me, investigate, introspect to get the bigger picture of what’s really going on, in all its dimensions so that I can eradicate/transcend these points once and for all.

Advertisements

About carltontedford

In Process.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s