Day 349: “What Do You Do”?

What-do-you-doIt’s pretty interesting how when we meet someone for the first time, the major/main question we get to in the long run is, “What do you do”, now it’s funny because this question will also determine how far the conversation will go from there, depending on the answer to the question. Let’s say two people meet and after all the small talk, then comes the question, it’s usually (in most cases) the girl asking the question, so let’s say in this case the girl is a doctor and she ask the guy; “What do you do” and the guy say’s “I work in sanitation”, and the girl says; “Oh, I see” and at that point she begin her closing remarks, not once considering this guy to be the one, because of his job description.

In our minds we think that people are not on our level (per se), depending on the kind of work they do or don’t do, I mean for girls, your parents want you to marry a rich guy who will/is able to take care of you for the rest of your life, which mean when you ask him what do you do, really the only answer you’ll accept is that of being able to take care of you, as per what your parents have embedded within you since a child, that is now a societal norm. And for guys, mostly we really don’t care, because we’re too busy in that moment, thinking about other shit (which we all know what that is) and in some cases, just happy because we’re being talked to, Lol, unless we come from a family with a particular set of values, that would dictate the type/kind of person we talk to, which then shows that our choice in mates is not self-directed, but directed by our family values, so when we ask the question “What do you do”, we are really asking will you fit in with my family value design (so to speak).

I mean this question is so much of a fact that, a girl who receives the correct answer to this question, who claims to not like cigarettes or smokers, will put up with a guy who smokes, verses a guy who don’t smoke and have the “wrong” answer, all because of how we were raised to differentiate between two individuals with different job descriptions, in this world of survival of the fittest, where your job description doesn’t fit in my survival, in how I would like to survive. I mean I want this and that and the other, so can you buy that, because by what you said when I asked; “What do you do”, it doesn’t seem like you can. If we were self-honest enough then that’s what we would say, plainly and simply, but we’re not, so we “kindly” excuse ourselves with an excuse, to not tell the truth of what we’re really thinking, because of this and that.

In some cases, I’m sure it does matter what one does, seeing that if a person doesn’t have a job, opens up other dimensions for one to think about, when considering going into a relationship with someone or not, but when a person is rejected because of the type of job they have, the starting point of the one who’s asking, should be in question.

Ok so the ultimate let down is when you’re knee deep in a conversation with someone and you’re both seemingly compatible with each other, then the question come up and the letdown happen, because one’s job was lesser than the other expected, being that you’re thinking way too far ahead into what your family would think about you and this person being together, only stops you from directing your own life and possibly mess up any real chances you have or have had at a cool relationship with a cool potential compatible partner, so whose really in control here, being that you’re not a mind reader, but a future projector, always ending up with the wrong person, because your projection is not based on your direction, but on your embedded perception of what you were taught by your parent and/or what you picked up as a societal norm.

So how do we rectify this? By looking pass this mirage as a fascade from our past, telling us who will or will not pass our family’s test of approval, meaning to direct ourselves and get to know the person for who they really are, that doesn’t mean that you are at this point in a position to make a life changing decision, but getting to know you for who you are, within the other person, and the question; “What do you do” shouldn’t decide for you.


About carltontedford

In Process.
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