Why do we walk around with our heads down, hoping somebody say something to us, but as soon as they do we say, “I’m sorry”, as if the last thing on our minds is them speaking to us, we’ll even go as far as getting close to them, but not once look them in the eye, because if we do, then our little charade would be exposed, and ‘Oh no we can’t have that, because the person will see the real side of me, the side that I really want to communicate, but I don’t know how to, and plus I was taught that a guy should always talk to a girl first and that I should never approach a guy, because that would make me look desperate, so I’ll just watch him walk right in and out of my life, all in one moment and give myself an excuse as to why he was the wrong guy for me, when all the why’ll, I must have gotten my signals mixed up or something, because he looked at me, said hi and kept going’, Oh well next time I’ll speak, then the next time and the next time and the next time continue to come and you still haven’t found it within yourself to Speak out loud, Not in your Mind. Obviously there are more things at play here, but this is what I see on a first face bases, that has happened to me a number of time, most recently at the grocery store the other day, where I then saw how I have been the same way.
I mean the same thing applies to us guys as well, but with a few slight differences, where we guys really want to say something but nothing comes out, because we are too busy, if not looking your body parts, hoping that we’ll see you again, slim chance of that happening, so we as well as girl stay in our minds.
What are we afraid of? Is it the fact that we can’t control ourselves in the presence of others, or is it that what we are thinking about the next person is something one does not speak about to others when first meeting them, (which we all know what that is)? Is there such a thing as speaking without thinking? (Yes btw) What is our starting point for speaking in the first place, which then goes right back into why we don’t speak, when we really want to? The fear I see comes from being afraid (in most cases) of being rejected, the rejection we received at some point within our lives, when we didn’t get the response we expected, when speaking to someone else in our lives, that has stuck with us throughout, which has caused us to not speak out loud, but in our minds.
For the longest I have been one who’s always wanted to say something to people, but whenever I would open my mouth nothing would come out and that was the problem, because I would get to the point and the other person would say; ‘Well what” and I would be stuck and walk away, this happened time and time again, until I realized that, I’ll never get anywhere if I never said anything, so of course I felt that I needed something to help with this little problem I had and what do we do, we revert to alcohol and drugs to give us our sense of expression and for the time being it works, not realizing that we are creating a dependency on these thing to the point of addiction and so, when it’s all said and done we end up with a much greater problem than what we started with, when all we had to do was to Speak out loud , Not in our minds.
Throughout my life I have been searching for ways to better myself and each thing that I’ve came across always lead me to something else, which ended up having fault within itself and so at the end of the day, I remained the same, nothing changed and so on and so forth. Until I finally came across the tools I needed for me to Speak out loud, not in my mind, which then showed that my problem with speaking had to do with me not having anything substantial to say, I mean I realized that I never knew how to have a normal conversation, so first off I had to get to know who I was and start there and walk backwards to the root cause of the problem, (where did it all start) and by doing that, I was able to open up many more problems that I faced in my past, that I had and still have to walk through some to date, I mean the Journey is pretty cool and I will suggest that everyone who has this problem, to learn how to “Speak out Loud, Not in your Mind”, by going HERE.