Day 335: Extra Baggage

Extra-BaggageI was reading This article on the Desteni Website the other day and realized a fascinating thing that was being said about how; “Not all the thoughts you have go anywhere. Those thoughts that is irrelevant to your environment or … and to yourself and so on – go sit in your body, that’s why the body change with age, because you start to package the thoughts. And all the thoughts that’s used – go to your FAT, your File Allocation Tables your cellulite – and things like that”. Now I won’t go any further than that, but I suggest it as a cool read. To me it’s like carrying extra baggage around inside us and that’s how our body change with age. I can see how this is also related to our preprograming to do specific things at specific times in our lives with no question.

Looking back on my day to day interactions in my world, throughout my life, in relation to what was previously said, what comes up is all these useless thoughts about things that had no meaning to them, like for instance, comparison, where I would see something in my world and go into my mind and compare what I saw to something I already had stored inside me and bring it back up. And in bringing it up again/re-thinking about this thing, I would create more thoughts and systems to carry around as extra baggage within me. I mean if you look at it, that’s why I would, at times have this heavy feeling coming up within and as me, where I would then become sluggish and perceive myself to be tired for no apparent reason and at times I would then fall asleep in the midst of doing things and always wondered why I would feel so tired, when I knew that I wasn’t.

I see Extra Baggage as let’s say, when a song comes to mind or a random word and I just blurt it out or start humming/singing it, thinking that I brought it up, but it really wasn’t me, it was my preprograming. The countless amounts of decisions I made that I thought was by my own direction, really wasn’t me making the decision, it was already made for me and I just stepped into the preprogramed design, (sort of like me being programed to say a prayer before I eat) it doesn’t make sense. Whenever I would walk away from something like a relationship, yes I had my reasons, but they were all invalid, because it wasn’t my actual decision to walk away, it was my preprograming, now within that it was always after the fact of doing something (like walking away), that I would question myself as to why I did what I just did, but wouldn’t take it any further into investigation or introspection as to why did I do this or that, I would just leave it as an unanswered question/thoughgt, which would then be stored in my FAT as irrelevant as what I call extra baggage.

So how do I get rid of all this extra baggage that I have been carrying around for so long, because I see that without this extra baggage that means, I would be directing myself first off, release myself from this heavy feeling I’ve had at times, not become sluggish anymore, not fall asleep in the midst of doing things at times anymore and would get to a point of silence within and as me, so it’s now time for me to de-program myself, first starting with Self-Forgiveness. So for this:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry around this extra baggage as irrelevant thought that sit in my body that has changed my body with age, that I have packaged and stored in my FAT/cellulite throughout my lifetime.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that this is closely related to the preprograming the I have followed for so long throughout my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe this preprograming to be who I was and that the things I have done throughout my life was by my own choice, which in fact it was not, it was by my own preprogramed design.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist and follow suit as a preprogramed robot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself throughout my life, all this useless thoughts about things that had no meaning to them, like for instance comparison, where I would see something in my world and go into my mind and compare what I saw to something I already had stored inside me and bring it back up, not realizing that by bringing it up again/re-thinking about this thing, I was creating more thoughts and systems to carry around as extra baggage within me, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create more thoughts and systems to carry around as extra baggage within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in carrying around all this extra baggage as stored thoughts within and as me, experience this heavy feeling coming up inside me, where I would then become sluggish and perceive myself to be tired for no apparent reason and at times, I would fall asleep in the midst of doing things and always wondered why I would feel so tired, when I knew I wasn’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have induced this heavy, sluggish and tired feeling onto myself, from first off thinking too much and then storing all the thoughts that were irrelevant to my environment and myself, inside my FAT/cellulite within my human physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think too much.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have had extra baggage as being songs or random words coming up in my mind and I just blurt it out and/or start humming/singing it, thinking that I brought it up on my own, not realizing that it really wasn’t me it was my preprograming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made a countless amount of decisions and thought them to be by my own direction, not realizing that it really wasn’t me making the decision, it was already made for me and I just stepped into the preprogramed design.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been programmed to pray before I ate anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have walked away from something like a relationship, and although I had my reasons for doing so, not realize that my reasons were invalid, because it wasn’t my actual decision to walk away, it was my preprograming. Within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always after the fact of doing something (like walking away), would question myself as to why I did what I just did, but wouldn’t take it any further into investigation or introspection as to why did I do this or that (in this case walk away from a relationship), I would just leave it as an unanswered question/thought, which would then be stored in my FAT as irrelevant and what I call extra baggage.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I have always had the power to release myself from carrying around this extra baggage, but never did so, because I had accepted and allowed and believed my preprograming to be who I was and thus suffered the consequences for doing so.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing thought that are irrelevant to my environment and myself to sit in my body, where I then package them and store them in my FAT/cellulite and carry them around as extra baggage, which them give me this heavy, sluggish and tired feeling and then at times fall asleep in the midst of doing things, although I know that I’m not tired, not realizing that this is also in relations to my preprograming, where I have thought that the things I have done, the decisions I have made and the things that have come up within and as me, was by my own doing, my own direction, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that, I was not the directive principle of my world and reality and to myself, I did not bring these things up, it was by my preprogrammed designed that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow and believe that was me and so I commit myself to investigating and introspecting more about these irrelevant thoughts that I have stored within and as me and to de-program myself from them, so that I can release myself from this heavy feeling I’ve had at times, and no longer become sluggish anymore, no longer fall asleep in the midst of doing things at times, to where I can get to the point of silence within and as me, where nothing comes up.

I commit myself to emptying me empty from all of this extra baggage and floating on (per se) within my process.

Advertisements

About carltontedford

In Process.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s