Day 334: My Process Then and Now

Then-and-NowAround about three years or so ago, I embarked on a fascinating Journey which started my process of becoming self-aware, meaning going from being totally brainwashed and just following along with what society has deem as living life and the pursuit of happiness, to realizing who I am and what I have done throughout and up until this point in my life. Interestingly enough, I had defined this happiness as having money of course, which then gained me friends and being in a relationship with someone who I thought would complete me. In essence I was just like every Tom/Dick and Joe, I mean not to separate myself from being what society has deemed as being normal, but to see how I have progressed from Then and Now in this Process.

Back Then at the beginning of my process, I was a bit skeptical as to what I was getting myself into (as we all are, when it comes to something new), what pulled me in was the controversy. What was being said was totally different than what I had ever heard or seen before (What I am speaking about is the Group Desteni Stands for Oneness & Equality), I mean when I initially saw the video, I had my doubts, but then after watching five, then ten, then twenty and then 100, I realized, ok wait, “This person can’t be faking it”, which intrigued me more, but self-honestly at that time, I was hearing the message but didn’t comprehend ‘really’ what was being said, but the words they used to explain things was easy listening and made all the commonsense in the world to me.

Now at that point I was still scared to go any further, as they were saying to join the forums, but I didn’t want to do that, I wanted to stay in the back ground and be an Observer, not a Participant, but every time a new video came out, I would jump to see it; this was after I had already watched the History of Mankind and it’s funny because, at that time in my life, I was in need of a change, I had already told myself that I was tired of doing and going through the same old shit over and over again, as a repetitive cycle to no end, so in that instance I had already taken somewhat of a stance, to stop doing what I was doing. And as I went deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole (into what was being said), It went from being controversial to being about me and “Oh Boy” things became more hard and harder for me to swallow, because I started to see myself as what I had become and what I have been doing throughout my life and it wasn’t a pretty picture.

So I still lollygagged around for a while, not wanting to get off the fence and face myself for what I was seeing, that was being shown to me about me and sure enough while being a fence sitter, things in my life became worse.

Then I started hearing about blogging and to read others Journey to life blog that are walking this process and so, I started reading Creations Journey to Life as well as Heavens Journey to life Blog and through that I saw that they were also on Facebook and so I went to Facebook, where I wanted to start following the group, but then read a thing that said, If I start following this page, all your friends on Facebook would see it. I immediately went into my mind and said “No Thanks”, because at that time I was already going through things with the friends I had and “didn’t want to make things worst”, the same with my YouTube Channel, but to make a long story short, I finally gave in and said fuck it, it’s either now or never and started following everyone who I saw as a part of Desteni (My Facebook page is now covered with the majority of Desteni stuff) and it seem as if no one cares.

So after all, being scared of what others would think, was useless, because no one really cared about what I put on my Facebook wall or who I am following, also by taking the DIP Lite Free Online course, I was able to learn about this fear and how to stop it from coming up within and as me, so Now, I am no longer scared to share myself and my process with the world. I am grateful that I am still walking my process from Then and Now.

I find that my process now is much more smooth after I have gotten through the initial different stages of fear, that I was existent within and as. I mean (like I mentioned) Then, I had a fear of being alone, but Now after taking corrective action, I no longer have this fear, which was a huge thing for me, because that meant that I cared what others thought about what I was doing in my life too much = that I wasn’t living life for myself, but in the service of what I perceived others would think about me. Now whenever a situation comes up, I know how to direct it to the best possible outcome. I mean I can go on for days telling you about Then and Now, but all and all “From Then and Now, I am glad I am walking this process and have stuck with it consistently for about three years or so and will continue walking my process no matter what.

Hi my name is Carlton and I’m a Destonian

About carltontedford

In Process.
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