Day 329: Directing Me

Directing-MeWithin an orchestra and/or symphony, you have different sections of instruments all working together to create an ensemble of harmonious music and then you have the Director who conducts the orchestra and/or symphony, that pieces the music together to create one sound with different variations, simply put the Director/Conductor tell this and that section when to come in and go out, with different intensity, so all and all, when the orchestra and/or symphony is working together being directed by one Conductor, you’ll get a harmonious output of soothing music or music that you like to listen to. (e.g. What is best for all).

Just how our body works where, if you are one with your Self, then you are the Director/Conductor, in directing your world to a harmonious outcome that is best for all, where everything works together for you to stand as life and express yourself to your utmost potential, but for most of us, this is not the case, because we have chosen to be directed by our minds and unaware that we have chosen so and are doing so, because we believe the mind to be who we are and so, when we think a thought, we think that we thought that thought on our own, but have just followed suit, when we become emotional and have an emotional outburst, we think these emotions are normal and who we are, because without them how would we express ourselves, and when we experience a feeling, we believe this to be our natural form of expression and (once again) who we are, but it’s not really because we are not the directors of ourselves, as this orchestra as each body part working together in conjunction with each other, playing out this experience called life, harmoniously.

An example would be me Directing Me = I never done it, verses my mind directing me = staying in bed longer, instead of getting up, as I do now around 4:08 am every morning to start my day = a change to me Directing Me. But as I mentioned before this hasn’t always been the case and is only one-minute aspect of totally taking directive principle of my life, my world and reality, it’s a start, but I still have some ways to go to becoming who I am as life and Directing Me in totality.

Things that I look out for in knowing that I’m not Directing Me, is for example, a random song pops up in my mind why’ll work and I start singing/humming it, then I look at it and say; wait a minute where did this song come from, because one moment ago I was just focusing on my work and now I’m thinking about and singing/humming this song, that’s when I know I’m not directing me. It’s moments like these when I haven’t made the decision within myself to bring something up to look at, such as past memories, collating with things that I see, such as words and pictures throughout my day, where my mind would start bringing up things that I have stored over the years, that closely resemble, what I am seeing, for me to follow into reaction and now reactions are not just bad (per se), per my past definition of them, but you can also react to something with a positive feeling as well, but I realize that this is still not me Directing Me.

Me Directing Me, would be when and as I do get up in the morning, every step of my morning routine, I see resistance at every turn, rearing it head, but instead of giving in to the resistance, I walk through it each time, to where now it has become that much easier for me to jump into my task and complete them. Another think that I’ve noticed about resistance is, if you just jump into, that which you are experiencing resistance toward, it will go away, that was a lesson I had to learn to get to the point of Directing Me, when it comes to resistance.

Now what I am still walking through and working on as a point of Directing Me is, my participation within my mind, to where whenever I’m focusing on realizing my breathe in every moment, I’ll see the thoughts as they come up, but at times why’ll in the midst of working and throughout my day, I’ll lose track of my breath and that’s when I accept and allow my mind to take directive principle, I mean even for one moment is not cool, because now I have to catch back up with reality, with life, that has kept moving forward, when I decided to take a “coffee break”, from being Here, So to speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to at times why’ll in the midst of working and throughout my day, lose track of my breathing and accept and allow my mind to take directive principle, even for a moment, not realizing it’s not cool, because now I have to catch back up with reality, with life, that has kept moving forward, when I decide to take a ‘coffee break” from being Here, so to speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not Direct Me in every moment of being Here, but instead lose focus on what I’m doing at time and participate in my mind of thoughts/feeling/emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to at times be directed by my mind.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that in order for me to become who am as life, I must get to the point of Directing Me in every moment of every day, why’ll utilizing breath.

When and as I see myself, why’ll in the midst of working participating in my mind, where I hand over directive principle to my mind and experience an influx of thoughts, and then realize what I have done so, but by that time it’s then too late, where I then have to catch back up with reality and life, because I lost track of my breathing, instead of focusing on realizing my breath, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that it’s moments like these that I could and have missed out on a lot of things that passed me by, like the inspiration to write something and/or my self-realizations to correcting a point within me, as well as not doing my job effectively by being unfocused and could mess something up. I also realize that to get to the point of Directing Me in totality will take time and practice as to not rush, jump start or expect immediate change, but to instead Direct myself one step at a time and in time become the only Director of the orchestra that is Me.

I commit myself to taking back my directive principle from my mind and getting to the point to, where I am Directing Me in totality.

I commit myself to practicing more on utilizing and realizing my four count breath, to get to the point of Directing Me in every moment.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I have stopped realizing my four count breath, for a moment; to start over and continue this process over and over again, until I no longer forget to realize my breath and can remain stable within myself, breathing in every moment of every day.

I commit myself to getting to know my body and directing myself to a point of being aware of every part working in conjunction with each other, harmoniously to my utmost potential and only living that which is best for all life.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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