Day 328: Reeling Me In

Reeling-me-inIf you have ever been fishing, you’ll know the process it takes to catch a fish, where of course you have to have the right bait to catch different specific types of fish, but the process that I’d like to discuss here is, once the fish is on the line, the reeling in process in other words, where depending on the size of the fish, it can become a pretty hard job to reel it in, where you’re going back and forth with the fish and have to give the line some slack, at times and let the fish run for a moment and then pull and reel it in again and continue this process, until the fish eventually give up, at which time you can reel the fish all the way in (Back Here). I mean it’s a hard job, because most of the times you have to be strapped in a chair when let’s say deep sea fishing or else the fish may pull you into the deep blue sea, where you’ll then lose yourself.

The excitement of catching a fish is why one would go fishing in the first place and the next part is pretty interesting, that being the parable that Jesus said, where he said to become a fisher of men, which is where my story begins and the fishing context comes into play.

The fish (hypothetically speaking) was/is me and the deep blue sea is my mind and the reeling in process is just what it is, my process, where I have for so long been swimming in the sea of my mind, that I’d forgotten that I was more than just amphibious and that HERE is where I belong, I mean I wasn’t as easy “Fish” to catch, because I had gotten used to being in my mind and thought, what I was experiencing in my life was all there was, but somewhere deep inside me there was still this thirst to understand what was really going on, because after I had debunked the whole religion thing, in my own way, there was this sense of knowing that that just can’t be it, because nothing that was taught and/or said to me ever came true, I mean we have been waiting for Jesus to come back since the 1970s, instead of living by the words he spoke as the keys to changing and realizing oneself, who we really are and so I was lost out to sea, with pieces of me scattered everywhere (per se) including HERE, what I will refer to a land so to speak, (Being Here) and those pieces that where Here somehow found the right bait to throw out on a line for me to see and grab onto it, so they could start reeling me in, (This bait was Desteni, The History of Mankind).

Now of course with seeing anything for the first time, you become intrigued and want to see more, know more about what you’re seeing, and so why’ll being reeled in, I started searching for more and more, as more of me started to be Here and every once in a why’ll, I would give a little tussle and trying running away from what I saw, because at that time I perceived it was too hard for me to believe and swallow, but still, I would pull and reel myself back in/Here more and more, until I found myself grounded Here, just enough to really listen to what the message was saying. And thus my process really started.

What I realize myself doing and still being a work in progress is, sticking my foot in the water and going for short swims in the sea of my mind, where I then have to reel myself back in, where I find myself bringing up memories and reminiscing about the past, mostly of the recent past as in the things I did days before and my participation in this or that, so although I am Here, I at times still go for swims and I will continue to reel myself back in until I no long participate in my mind.

I see/realize/understand that this process is not short term, but long term, in terms of completing something for once in its entirety and in my case fishing myself out of my mind as this is the first step of becoming a fisher of men, so I commit myself to completing this process in which I started as being the man being fished out of the depths of my mind, so that I am able to become a fisher of men, in assisting and supporting others within their process and realizing that it all starts with me being HERE.

I commit myself to stopping my swimming out into the deep blue sea of my mind and remaining Here.

I commit myself to no longer make my process a tussle or a hassle, where I pull and fight with myself at every turn, but instead to simplify it by walking one point at a time with one breathe at a time, because I see this as being one of my major problem I face, as in walking one point then getting to a point of seeing improvement, then jumping into the next point and so on and so forth, to where I still have these lingering point, outstanding that has underlying points within them, that I hadn’t looked at as of yet and then have to go back over the previous point again, so within that;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to jump from point to point without completely walking through one point in its entirety, that end up getting lost in the shuffle, because I haven’t looked at the underlying points within the original point, but saw some improvement and thought I walked through it.
I see this as one of the ways I end up (hypothetically speaking) sticking my foot into the water (as mentioned above) and end up swimming /skinny dipping in the sea of my mind and have to reel myself back in, so;

When and as I see myself having these reoccurring points coming up within and as me, I stop and breathe and realize that these point still have underlying points within them that I haven’t look at as of yet, and to reel myself back in from getting ahead of myself and walk one point at a time, because it’s in my best interest to do so or else, I will become lost out at sea again in my mind, why’ll deluding myself into believing that I am still Here.

I commit myself to remaining Here with breath in every moment as to not get lost in my own Bullshit.


About carltontedford

In Process.
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