Day 319: Cut It Out

Cut-it-outGrowing up whenever I would act or behave a certain way, that was unbecoming in the eyes of my parents, I was told to “Cut it out”. Whenever things didn’t go my way and I would cry, trying to get my way, I was told to “Cut it out”, meaning to stop what I was doing and in a sense, come back down to earth and realize that the behavior that I was perpetuating was unacceptable and came with consequences. Now although, for most part I knew that consequences at times would follow, I still acted out and experienced these consequences, because that’s the only way I knew how to get the attention I needed in that moment as a child. I mean at that stage in my life, I didn’t understand the mind or how anything works, I just followed along with what I saw others doing, who came before me, (my older sibling) so I thought this to be the only way to express myself, to get what I wanted and that’s what I did.

Now really having no cure as to why my parents would tell me to “Cut it out”, until I got a bit older and understood my actions, did I realize what I really could and really couldn’t do. And so I finally got the point (the picture) they were making, of course after experiencing an extensive amount of consequences.

Fast forward till today, in walking my process, I can see the validity of using such words as “Cut it out”, where, what I have accepted and allowed throughout my life time, that wasn’t best for all, such as accepting and allowing my mind to control me, what I think, how I act, how I present myself, how I participate in this world, my reactions, my interactions within relationship with others, the decisions I make, how I talk and walk, dress, look and behave towards everything and everyone around me, in my world and reality, needs to be and can be cut out.

This statement came up within myself the other day why’ll I was doing my morning routine, where I had sort of a flash back, (and get this) when my mind was acting out, where in one instance, (Ok) I would be breathing to stop my mind and the next moment experience silence, which for that moment was peaceful calm and serene, but what happened; here come my “good ole” mind, stepping in and messing everything up, by thinking about what to think about and then bring up the most unforeseen thought and word, then a picture attached to the word attached to the thought, so after I saw this happening a few time, I got feed up and told myself to “Cut it Out” and “I’m tired of the bullshit”, which apparently opened up the point of “Cut it out”, where all these memories started coming up from my past, which is cool because, I wouldn’t have considered these memories otherwise, so for that I am grateful and;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe as a child that “Cut it out” was something that my parents would say to stop me from expressing myself.

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to have cried when I was a child, trying to get my way and was told to “Cut it out”, meaning to stop what I was doing and in a sense, come back down to earth and realize that the behavior that I was perpetuating was unacceptable and came with consequences, but although I knew this, I still acted out and experienced these consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience these consequences, because I just followed along with what I saw others doing, who came before me, (my older sibling) and thought this to be the only way to express myself, to get what I wanted and that’s what I did.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have had to go through an extensive amount of consequences before I understood my actions, when told by my parents to; “Cut it out”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throughout my life time, let my mind control what I think, how I act, how I participate in this world, my reactions, my interactions within relationships with others, the decisions I make, how I talk and walk, dress, look and behave towards everything and everyone around me, in my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider before walking my process to cut these things, being directed by my mind out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to the other day why’ll doing my morning routine, had sort of a flash back, where my mind was acting out, where I would be breathing to stop my mind and the next moment experience silence, which for that moment was peaceful, calm and serene, but then my mind stepped in and messed everything up, by thinking about what to think about and then brought up the most unforeseen thought and word, then the picture attached to the word attached to the thought, where I became fed up and told myself to “Cut it out”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become fed up with my mind without saying enough is enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my mind step in, why’ll I was experiencing a moment of silence and think about what to think about.

When and as I see myself letting my mind control what I think, how I act, how I participate in this world, my reactions, my interactions within relationships with other, the decisions I make, how I talk and walk, dress, look and behave towards everything and everyone around me, in my world and reality, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that I have been doing this my entire life, with no consideration of cutting it out.

I commit myself to stopping my mind from controlling me, in my world and reality and to instead “Cut it out”, meaning no longer accept and allow my mind to move me away from what’s best for all and direct me, but instead to cut out all the bullshit and walk my process from consciousness to awareness why’ll remaining stable, so I can experience change for real.

I commit myself to “Cutting It Out”.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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