Day 308: But Myself

But-myselfWe rant and rave about this and that person, on how he or she did this and that to us, then turn around and look at ourselves in disgust. We get into arguments on the street corners, thinking I’m looking out for myself, but who are we really arguing with, none other but myself.

It’s just like practicing your mean mug and war face in the mirror, then go out and perpetuate anger, not realizing that you’re still looking in the mirror. Does the glass need to be shined for you to see clearer, when the past comes to mind, will you then get the picture?

Who else but myself has caused me my own pain, who else but myself, do I go to and complain? It always has and will be me, there’s really nothing else to blame. It always has and will be me, who’s playing the same old game, with none other but myself, until I decide to change. I’m tired of going around in circle and repeating the same old things.

Is there no shame, in the way that we bark at ourselves, steal from, rob, take and cheat ourselves, abuse ourselves verbally then physically kill ourselves and walk away thinking that we’ve vindicated ourselves? I mean who else but myself came up with right and wrong, came up with telling myself to turn around and go home, it’s for my own good, but I never listen to myself, I’d rather separate me from me as you and everyone else.

Who else but myself could come up with such a design, of locking myself away and doing hard time and call it rehabilitation, then back in the world I go, to repeat the same thing and once again say, “I didn’t know”.

Why do we need an excuse when passing someone by, I mean we say excuse me, instead of hello and hi? If we’d all realize that we’re one, we’ll have a Billon conversation, instead of the separation and being divided by nations. We’ll have patience with each other accept and embrace each other, instead of divide and conquer and trying to erase each other.

Yeah this all sounds good, but bring it back to myself, bring it back to our awareness that we left on the shelf, that’s always been with us, right there in front of our eyes, but we chose this for ourselves, we chose to live a lie. It’s all about me as you and the actions that I take, it’s all about what I do before it’s too late.

So when you get into a fight with someone and claim that you’re right, just remember before you beat yourself to death, that you only have this one life, that should be lived as what’s best for all, because if we all stand together, then no one would fall.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that others are but myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that what I do to others is doing it to but myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that what I think about other, is towards but myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I get angry and argue with others, I am getting angry and arguing with but myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I blame other, I am really blaming but myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider others as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am the cause of my own pain, meaning everything I do towards others it to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have throughout my life at times felt no shame for stealing from, taking, cheating and verbally abused myself and have thought I was vindicated for doing so, not realizing that I would later on in my life face the consequences for my actions. Which I did, where I lost everything, because I didn’t consider all as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an excuse when passing someone by, by saying excuse me, instead of hello and hi.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have not had patience with others, but would expect them to be patience with me. I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be patient with others. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that others should be patient with me, when back then, I wasn’t patient with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my awareness of realizing everyone is but myself, to be placed on a shelf, why’ll I chose to live a life full of lies. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have chosen to live a life full of lies, instead of being aware, Here, present in the moment, where I would have realized with my real eyes, everyone is but myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created this separation between myself and everyone else as myself, where I chose to live a life of isolation, because I was always So Late at choosing to change myself at the last minute, so this time, I commit myself to no longer being late, but to continue to walk my process of self-change, in breaking the chains that bound me in isolation, separated from everyone else as but myself.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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