Day 304: Prolong – Self-Forgiveness

This post is a continuation from Day 303: Prolong

1Prolong-sf(For Context; I mean knowing that I would eventually get to doing what I had/have to do, just made it worst, from the perspective of being consumed with the thought of knowing that I have to do something, but have not yet started to do it (sort of an anxious feeling coming up). In hindsight for some of the things, if I would have just jumped right in and did it, I would have given myself more down time, but instead, I would tap into the time I had allocated for other things, which in the long run wore me out, because now I was playing catch up to get to mustarding up enough energy to get things done).

SELF FORGIVENESS

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prolong the writing of my self-forgiveness, for this post that I wrote about the word Prolong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have throughout my life been a Pro at taking a Long time to do something, complete something, start something and in general, where I would wait until the last minute to do things and excuse it as; “Just taking my time, because I want to get it right” or “I have to build myself up for it first”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait until the last minute to do things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make excuses for waiting until the last minute to do things of; “Just taking my time, because I want to get it right” and “I have to build myself up for it first”, when all the why’ll, I either experienced resistance to doing it, thought that it wouldn’t take me a long time to do (so I would prolong it) or didn’t want to do it in the first place.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to have been self-honest with myself enough to investigate the reasons behind me experiencing resistance, why did I think that it wouldn’t take a long time and why didn’t I want to do it in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have in the meantime push things back further and further, that we’re personal and would even prolong to not doing them indefinitely, especially when it came to any form of self-change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to with projects for other have “pushed the envelope” in how long I would/could prolong the completion of a project, which had mostly to do with me overloading my plate, so to speak, (Agreeing to do and have done too many things at once).
I forgive myself that I have accepted allowed myself to have overloaded my plate, in agreeing to do and have done too many things at once, where I would have to push the deadline back as far as I could, where a few time, I wasn’t able to complete the project on time, but completed it after the deadline, which isn’t good for business and a way to lose business as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have consumed myself with the thought of knowing that I have to do something, but have not yet started to do it, where I then experience this anxious feeling coming up within and as me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to in that past moment stop the anxious feeling and get started on the project, where if I would have jump right in and did it, I would have given myself more down time, but instead, I would tap into the time I had allocated for other things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, by tapping into the time I had allocated for other things, in the long run wore myself out, because now I was playing catch up to get to mustarding up enough energy to get things done, when in fact I could have avoided it all, by jumping in and doing it.

When and as I see myself prolonging or wanting to prolong the writing of my self-forgiveness for a post that I’m writing on any given topic that relates to any patterns/habits/behaviors that I haven’t written self-forgiveness on in its specificity, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that this is a form of resistance, where I would do the writing part and unconsciously in a way forget or even think that that was enough, which in fact I haven’t even scratched the surface of the point yet, but just mention and wrote the outline of it, where in the end I would have to go back over, in my process and walk the point again as the pattern/habit/behavior will continue to repeat itself, unless I release myself from it with self-forgiveness and walk and live the self-corrective application of such a point. So I commit myself to no longer forgetting and just writing the outline of a particular point of pattern/habit/behavior that I haven’t written self-forgiveness on in its specificity, but instead to realize and write the most important part of my post which is my self-forgiveness, that way I release myself from the point of pattern/habit/behavior where it no longer comes up again and I can move on to the next point in my process of self-change.

When and as I see the point coming up of Prolonging or wanting to Prolong doing something, where I re-live, being a Pro at taking a long time to do something and give myself excuses as to why I am taking a long time, if in relation to a project for someone, where I then want to push back a deadline, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that, most likely this is in relations to me overloading my plate, where I agree to do and have done too many things all at once where I then should pass the project on to someone else and/or give a self-honest assessment of what I am really capable of doing and not doing, to whomever the project is for. I also realize that if there is any other reason or experience coming up within and as me, about why I am wanting or prolonging anything, I will investigate the root cause/source of what I am experiencing and get to an immediate solution as to not stop, slow down or halt my progression in what I am doing and/or my self-change. So I commit myself to being self-honest with myself in seeing what I am capable of doing and not doing, in relation to projects for others: to not overload my plate and make promises I can’t keep, but instead to keep my professionalism in saying that I can do only what I am capable of.

I commit myself to investigate all other feelings, reasons, excuses, experiences that I have in wanting to prolong thing: to not take them personally, but to come up with an immediate solution and correction as to not stop my progression in what I am doing and in relations to me experiencing Self-Change for real

Quote from my previous post:

Now there are some things that require your undivided attention and if you have other things going on, it would be best to finish those things before bunkering down and started to do what will initially require your undivided attention, or else in the process of doing, a loss of focus could be detrimental to the effectiveness of getting through the task at hand. This requires a self- nest assessment of yourself/myself.
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About carltontedford

In Process.
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