Day 303: Prolong

1ProlongThroughout my life I have become a Pro at taking a long time to do something, complete something, start something and in general, where I would wait until the last minute to do things and excuse it as, “just taking my time, because I want to get it right” or “I have to build myself up for it first”, When all the why’ll, I either experience resistance to doing it, thought that it wouldn’t take me a long time to do (so I would prolong it), or didn’t want to do it in the first place. And in the meantime, I would just push things back further and further and for some things personally, I would prolong indefinitely.

With other things such as projects for others, I would definitely push the envelope in how long I would/could prolong the completion of the project, this had mostly to do with me overloading my plate, so to speak, (Agreeing to do and have done too many things at once), where I would have to push the deadline back as far as
could, which isn’t cool for business and a way to lose business as well.

I mean knowing that I would eventually get to doing what I had/have to do, just made it worst, from the perspective of being consumed with the thought of knowing that I have to do something, but have not yet started to do it (sort of an anxious feeling coming up). In hindsight for some of the things, if I would have just jumped right in and did it, I would have given myself more down time, but instead, I would tap into the time I had allocated for other things, which in the long run wore me out, because now I was playing catch up to get to mustarding up enough energy to get things done.

Now there are some things that require your undivided attention and if you have other things going on, it would be best to finish those things before bunkering down and started to do what will initially require your undivided attention, or else in the process of doing, a loss of focus could be detrimental to the effectiveness of getting through the task at hand.

When dealing with self-growth/expansion/development, I have found that every point/lesson/assignment, requires my undivided attention in order for me to effectively comprehend exactly what I’m doing and learn or else, I would find myself only retaining bits and pieces of knowledge and information and so when I go to apply it to my life, I would realize that I’ve missed something and would now have to go back over my process to see what it is that I missed and correct it, which is the act of Prolonging my process.

And as you well know could be a frustrating thing, where the thought of giving up, seem more like a reality than a thought, but what I then notice and tell myself is; “Giving up is not an option”, unless it’s an old patterns/ways/behaviors, then give it all up, which is the point of my process, so the frustration is really useless and becomes null in void in the process of change or if I want to experience change, frustration is not allowed.

Knowing all of this, there will still be thoughts that’ll come up of wanting to rush into and get through things and onto the next, almost like jumping the gun, where what I had to realize is that it takes one step at a time, because in order to get to the next realization so to speak, you first have to realize your presence of being Here, so to speak.

So is it wrong to prolong, when you find yourself alone, somewhere way out there, trying to get back home, here inside yourself, with one realization at a time, where the mind won’t stop until you re-define the words that you speak and become humble and meek, in taking your time in learning You, but to not procrastinate, but wait until it’s time for the next stage of self-change? So within this, I commit myself to re-define the word Prolong to that of what I have previously define it as of; “Being a pro at taking a long time to do something”, to that of; “Taking my time in getting to things, that needs my undivided attention to effectively comprehend the task/lesson at hand”.

About carltontedford

In Process.
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