Day 296: Keep it REAL, but Not in the MIND

Keep-it-Real-but-not-in-your-mindIsn’t it interesting how we compound fact with exaggeration once it reaches our minds and call it keeping it real? I mean the fact that it reached our mind should be evident enough in realizing that “Ok I’ve taken it a bit too far from the conversation I had with someone a while back or just a moment ago”. Once it reaches our mind we tend to re-live, re-play with live steaming the conversation we’ve just had with someone without them being present, but speak it in our heads as if they were, and during this live steaming Mind Broadcast, we say all the things that we wanted to say, but didn’t and of course with mostly real facts in keeping it real, but the reactions we use in “getting our point across” to the thin air, is the point of exaggeration, because we are in our minds and not in real time with the individual there, present.

Which brings up the next point, why is it that we don’t say what we wanted to say, (In keeping it real) why’ll in the presence of the other human being, is it the fact that we are to fixated on the conflict aspect of what the person is saying, which we then hide and try and excuse it as; “it just skipped my mind”, but the real truth behind the matter is that, although what we’re thinking is real, we are afraid that if we keep it real in that moment of interaction, the person will react to what we’re saying and so (another excuse), we don’t want to cause any more conflict than what it already is, which is bullshit, because so, what do we do? We then superimpose onto ourselves after the fact, conflict within ourselves, by bringing up the live streaming feed in our secret minds, where we then have the floor and can talk all we want, to get our point across, with no one there to stop us and when we’re done you feel vindicated.

To an extent though, because most of what we’ve discussed in our minds is the answers that we wanted to give/say, to validate our point (get our point across), but we didn’t, so you can say that this interaction with ourselves in our minds in the buildup for the next time we have a similar discussion with this person, where we now have stored “Readymade answers” to whatever we think they will say, when/if/as we get ourselves into another situation with this person. And the reason I say “get ourselves into”, is because, no matter how you put it, it’s our fault in the first place, because we’ve obviously have had some form of run in with this person in our past, where we didn’t make ourselves clear or stand up for ourselves in keeping it real, (back then) and now we are doing the same thing over again. And as long as we continue to repeat this cycle, the same problem will persist, although it may be a little different each time, but the fact that I’m saying “Each Time” is too much and we know it.

So how do we stop ourselves from perpetuating our same old habits/patterns and ways of ineffective communication, with others and get our point across, why’ll keeping it real at the same time? First off we have to understand the words Our Power, which should be defined internally towards self, where we are at all times standing equal to and one with who self is – knowing/living who I am through and through as stability. And once that is understood, we then must realize that it is within Our Power to direct and control OUR-selves when interacting with others, where we then listen unconditionally (why’ll breathing I might add) to what the other person is saying, as to not react to nor take personally anything that they say, then after they’re finish, at which time we are able to share in keeping it real with our points in fact, in light of what they may think of you. The point is to Keep it REAL, but Not in the MIND.

This is a point that I’m sure has come up a few time within and as most of us, where for me the other, day, I was having a conversation with a business partner, where they believed for some reason that they are owed compensation for a long past project that they did and claimed that they were not completely taken care of and wanted to be compensated with monies from a current project that is near completion, that they had nothing to do with. So (for context) I’ve had this conversation with this particular business partner a few times before, which went along with somewhat of the same lines as it was before and the same story given, where they are broke with no money and this is the result of not being taken care of completely, so within the conversation, I listened again, then asked them what was it that they think they needed to sort them out and put this matter to bed and they gave me a figure, at which time I pondered and was leaning towards granting what I reiterated and made sure that’s what they had said was correct and shook their hand on, and all of a sudden, they then tried to recant and ask for more at which time, I reminded them of the handshake and bottom line we had just come to, (I mean this wasn’t no little figure that they asked for and we shook on) but they wanted more, so I kindly told them, that they were full of shit, shook their hand again and walked away.

Now it seems as if I am in the right, but this is where self-honesty comes into play where, instead of keeping it real and reiterating the facts behind the matter of what has transpired from then until now, I held it within, where the next morning, I then re-played the conversation over in my mind, so but if I would have said what I wanted to say, I would not be faced with another potential conversation about the same topic again in the future with this person, so for this;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and keep it real in my mind, instead of in real time, when in a conversation with someone, where although what I wanted to say was factual, but I didn’t in the moment and walked away from the conversation leaving it opened ended and the next morning let it play over in my head, where I perpetuated internal conflict within myself, instead of solving the conflict in reality with the person with whom I was conversing with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, although I have had a few times to make myself clear and say what I wanted to say to this person a few conversations ago, when discussing the same topic, I still would always leave the conversation open ended, where the point that I wanted to get across wasn’t said or explained effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow a pattern of leaving conversations open ended, instead of being solution orientated and getting to the bottom line.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in evident would rather perpetuate internal conflict within myself, than solving the conflict in real time with this person, although I now have the solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have gotten over the fear of communicating with this person, as in saying what I want to say, but still let it go and walk away, because of being used to the excuse of not wanting to cause any more conflict than what it already is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse of not wanting to cause any more conflict than what it already is, to not say what I want to say, in moments of conversing with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to within re-playing the conversation over in my mind, accept and allow my mind to store “Readymade” answer to whatever I think this person will say the next time I have another conversation with this person, not realizing that I am, (by doing this) manifesting another conflictual interaction with this person and that it is all my fault for not opening up and keeping it real, in saying what I wanted to say in real time, in the first place.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in a way to what this person was saying instead of presenting the actual facts in what needs to be said and come to a solution on this matter, so;

When and as I see myself trying to keep it real in my mind, instead of in real time, where I re-play over in my head the conversation I had with someone and say all the things I wanted to say to them but didn’t say, that is actual fact concerning a situation of compensation that they think they’re owed, in relation our business, where I walk away and leave the conversation open ended and allow myself to react and perpetuate internal conflict, instead of being solution orientated and correcting the external conflict within conversation with this person, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that I could have resolved this a while back, by just stating what I know to be fact about the situation and coming up with a viable solution that is best for all parties involved, but instead I didn’t which shows that although I have no fear in saying what I want to say to this person, follow this pattern that I’m used to, by using the excuse, I don’t want to cause any more conflict than it already is, which is me saying, I’ll take the conflict within me, which is no solution but consequences that I have to walk through.

So, I commit myself to when and as I am in another conversation with this person to say exactly what it is, as fact that I want to say and to remain stable in the process of doing so, that way my point comes across effectively and we get to the bottom line of the solution, with an outcome that would be best for all parties involved.

I commit myself to no longer leaving any conversation open ended, but instead to close all door in taking and excuse route to not get to a resolve, but instead to remain solution orientated, communicate effectively and get my point across all why’ll breathing.

I commit myself to no longer holding in what I want to say in a conversation with another, as this is me perpetuating internal conflict within and as me, where I then bring it up later, which only hurts me and is not in any way a solution, but consequence, that I will have to walk through, so fuck that. But instead to say it, relay it and DON’T Re-play it in my head.


About carltontedford

In Process.
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