Day 292: Automation/Automated

automationAutomatedWhen I was young we had this pull string little Frankenstein Doll that, every time you pulled the string it would give you a different “spooky” Automated response. Now being a child I vaguely, but do remember having a few dreams about this Frankenstein Doll, but I can’t remember if the dreams were scary or not interesting, but what was fascinating about the Doll was its Automated responses (if I can remember), sort of like answers to spooky questions and of course “Boo”.

This was my first understanding of Automation with Automated response, I mean because obviously, I didn’t yet know or even consider myself nor the people around me to be the systems we are and especially growing up in the bible belt in Flint, Michigan where on every other corner there was a church next to a dope house (for context).

Now as in with any group or religion you become accustom to using a certain vocabulary of words that then become embedded within and as you, that we use as Automated responses for any and everything, so when asked a question, your Automated response is that of what you’ve learned (for me), from within a religious stand point and the environment that I was raised. Also when conversing with someone who wasn’t raised as you were, there is a difference within the two vocabularies, so when they say one thing, you automatically disagree as an Automated response, because you’re not really comprehending what they are saying and/or you were taught that anything that they say is not the truth of things or in my case “Evil”. I mean how could one have Lived like this with such limitations?

For a human being, Automation stems from being Brainwashed (which I’ve discussed in a previous post), where if you are constantly bombarded with the rules and ways of the group (in my case Christianity/Religion), you will start to talk, walk, act and be like, that in which the rules are laid out for you to follow and in looking at the word follow, how we have defined it in this day and age is; blindly without question, walking behind and doing that which and authority figure says to do, under the assumption that they know best. So you see this is where my Automation/Automated responses came from.

It’s interesting because from within that come stubbornness and a bit of cockiness, where now since you have design and engulfed yourself within what you have been taught the majority of your life, no one can tell you shit and you won’t move (per se) for anyone, unless the person who is asking of you, is on the same page as you, and if not you’ll call them a sinner and keep going about your way.

The number one Automated Response of all times, that I have experienced being on both end of it is, the word NO. Now this word is a powerful word and holds an extensive amount of fear within it, I mean imagine for a moment if you will, the first time you were told NO, it hurt didn’t it? So what did we do? Within that, we saw how we felt and said to ourselves that, I don’t want to experience this feeling anymore, so whenever I get the chance, I’m going to say NO first, to whomever it is, as a response to whatever they’re asking of me, (especially if we’re not on the same page) and that way I’ll always hold all the power. In essence this is known as Spite, as Spiteful behavior, where we think that, we be-having-our way, but in fact we’re not. What we are doing is creating consequences for ourselves in separating ourselves from what’s HERE, every time we use the Automated Response NO in the above mentioned context.

This, that I have mentioned only scratches the surface of the extensiveness within Automation/Automated responses, actions and ways of being, as everything that we do, know and learn is a part of our preprogramed design, so in essence we’ve been Automated since birth and so how do I stop myself from being automated? Investigation, as follows;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have realized that Automation exist within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been and still at time participate in Automated responses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have not considered myself (before starting my process) to be the system I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become accustom to using certain vocabulary of words that has become embedded within and as me, that I used as Automated Responses for any and everything, so when asked a question, my Automated response was that of what I learned from a religious stand point and the environment in which I was raised.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have when conversing with someone who wasn’t raised as I was, in not considering the difference within the two vocabularies, when they would say one thing, I would automatically disagree as an Automated response, because I wasn’t really comprehending what they were saying and was taught that anything that they say is not the truth of things and is Evil.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe what I was taught (growing up) to be the truth of things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought and believed that what others were saying was Evil.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have lived my life within such limitations and one-sidedness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been constantly bombarded with rules and ways of Christianity/Religion and had started to talk, walk, act and be like, that in which the rules were laid out for me to follow, which then spawned the Automation that I perpetuated within my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have throughout my life lived the way the word follow have been defined in this day and age as; blindly without question, walking behind and doing that which an authority figure says to do, under the assumption that they know best.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to back then see/realize/understand the real definition of the word follow as in: walking beside one and doing that which you see them do and showing you as being equal to them in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to from within that, become stubborn and a bit cocky, where now since I have designed and engulfed myself within what I had been taught the majority of my life, I believed that no one could tell me shit, where I wouldn’t move (per se) for anyone, unless the person who was asking of me, was on the same page as I was and if not I would call them a sinner and keep going about my way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged people for what they knew or didn’t know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have experienced the number one Automated Response of all times on both ends of it being the word NO.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have said NO to others out of the fear of them saying it to me first.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have attached a hurt feeling to someone else telling me NO, where I then told myself that I didn’t want to experience that feeling no more, so whenever I got the chance, I would say NO first, to whomever it is, as a response to whatever they were asking of me, (especially if we were not on the same page). And unconsciously that way I’ll hold all the power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have associated NO with the word power, in giving my power away to the word NO being used against me by someone and/or me using the word NO towards someone else.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider the consequences that I was creating for myself in separating myself from what’s HERE, every time I used the Automated Response NO as in the above mentioned context.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created consequence for myself in using as an Automated response the word NO, in spite of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought that these Automated responses and ways of being is who I am.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that who I am is not defined by any Automation, but who I am is life as the breath I breath in every moment that defines the experience of me HERE in this existence.

When and as I see myself following my preprogramed design of having Automated Responses, where I embed myself in one frame of mind/thinking which is extremely limiting, where I shut myself off to what is being told, said and/or shown to me by another and when ask of something by someone, I say NO, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that this is not who I am, but have designed myself to be throughout my life growing up and in doing so have created a massive amount of consequences for me to walk through that I am now faced with, so I must stop this behavior of following my preprogram design, if I want to experience any change within and as me and my life, so;

I commit myself to no longer accepting and allowing myself to participate in Automated Reponses that I have gathered throughout my life, in believing them to be what was real, but instead to look, listen and learn, from what I see and hear from other as myself, showing me the nature of myself in what I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become throughout my life, so that I may change into who I really am as life and live life to my utmost potential as that which is best for all life in oneness and equality.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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