Day 288: My Type?

My-TypeWhat type is that, is the question that is always asked. We all on some level or another are effectuated with type, within the different types of thing we do and don’t like, such as the type of clothes we would wear, the type of hairstyle we like and would sport, the type of food we eat, the type of car we drive and the type of house we chose to live in etc. Now, most of these types of things is based on our societal likes and dislikes, where in order to be accepted/ to be taken seriously, we have to look a certain way, dress a certain way, drive a certain type of car and live in a certain type of neighborhood (and yes this all depends on and requires money) and the type of people you hang around and/or attract towards you. I mean you won’t see a preacher on a Sunday morning dressed in drag trying to preach to his congregation and expecting to them to take him seriously and give the church money, although I’m sure crazier stuff has happen in relations to preachers and their congregations.

Then you have of course your stereotype, which I’ve already discussed in a previous post, so I won’t go into it again and the type of people you like or dislike in relations to associates, friendships and being in a relationship with someone, where before you enter a relationship, we first seek out the type of person we want to be with and nine (9) times out of time (10) this type of person is based on our imagination and what we have (growing up) imaged the perfect person for us to be with is, and of course I’m not saying anything that no one hasn’t already said, but reiterating that, this comes from the pictures and description we see and read about in magazines and book as well as what we watch on television.

For me, it was pretty interesting growing up where within our religion there were certain things that we couldn’t do, like watch television and look at magazine or participate in any “worldly” thing per se, so it was sort of a shut off to the rest of the world type thing, where the only thing we saw for instance was each other, those of us who went to the same church, and back then we were being matched with each other within the church and that’s how it was supposed to be, for the next few generations to come, but when it all boiled down, it didn’t happen, because the majority of the members left the church, because they were tired of being controlled and in time we did to, but throughout the time we were there, whatever I was told, not to like especially what type of women to like, I went the other way, I mean completely within liking a different type of woman, where you know how when you tell a child the words, can’t have/can’t be with, don’t, won’t and no, they envision themselves doing the opposite of what they were told and so that’s what I did, envisioned the opposite, because at that time, I couldn’t very well do it, but I wanted to and the first chance I got, I went after the opposite of everything that I was told that I couldn’t have or do, and once again especially in the type of women I chose, where if they were Christian, I wanted the opposite and So on and So forth, (you get the picture hopefully).

So this is how I created the type of person I wanted to be with and for the most part, that’s what I did. I mean, I wasn’t the super picky type, but as long as it wasn’t anyone who resemble the ones I grew up with in church and still, up until today it has been the same way, although I haven’t been in a relationship now for a few years, it’s was pretty much the same, but with only one major difference, that is my process. I mean the process that I am walking from consciousness to awareness, where I used to base my specific type of women off of body shape alone, because the only thing that was ever on my mind was having sex with them, so whenever I was with my friends, I would do as all guys do when looking a girl, in saying shit like; “Yeah man, she’s my type or that’s my type of girl”, and that’s wife material”, “Just look at it” damn, to the point of us knowing and picking out each other’s type of women, to now seeing them as a person and not a pack of meat and getting to know them for who they really are and if we are compatible with each other or not, is at the forefront in me defining the type of women for me, no longer just the watered down version of type, in looks and body shape, so for me I can say that I have come a long ways from how I used to be from/and growing up, till now.

What I realized is that by basing a type or specific type of person in your life to be with, is already accepting and allowing your relationship to fail, because of the limited starting point you have for seeking out someone and going into a relationship with them. In hindsight, looking back on all my relationships, this is one if not the major reason why all of mine has failed, because I was looking for a type, instead of Mrs. Right.

What has assisted and supported me to realized myself within myself and to firstly build a relationship with myself before attempting to have a relationship with someone else, is the Relationship Agreement Course that I have taken online, that has shown me how selecting a type is so limiting, but correcting your life is the key to an endless amount of ways to express yourself, so that when and as Mrs. or Mr. Right comes your way, you will know how to build a relationship with them, because you have already built a relationship with yourself.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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