Day 278: Minds Mouth

Mind-MouthAs an analogy, the mind has a mouth of its own that others cannot hear speak, but see that it has spoken through your expressions, as in the way you look at them, the way you treat them and your actions towards them in general. And a tale tell sign of this is when you’re sitting there in the presence of someone that you’ve probably just had a conversation/discussion with and didn’t particularly like what they said, but didn’t physically say anything, instead you start whistling and or humming a song or a jingle to try and hide the fact that your mind is speaking and the reason we do this is because of fear. The fear that others may catch on to what we are thinking, plus we have no idea how to close our mouths, so to speak (stop our mind from thinking/speaking), so this is used as a cover for whenever you are in your secret mind and can’t stop it.

Come to think of it, this is done a lot, for example when you have your headphone on, when around other people, my perspective on this is because of us not being able to stop ourselves from listening to our Minds Mouth speak (the voices in our head), so we try to overpower it, by listening to music, but still are unable to, because we lack focus, and once that happen, we change the song in our headphones, to see if the next one can keep us out of our mind for a lengthier period of time, but it never works and then we become irritated and react to the next thing that someone say to us.

I have experienced this a few times in my life, where I would find myself humming and/or whistling a tune for no apparent reason, why’ll in the presence of others and not only that, I would say things like; “The silence is deafening” or “The air is thick in here” when all the why’ll this was because I couldn’t stop my mind from thinking/speaking about the other person in my presence. So the other day I took notice of this being done unto me and realized myself within it and how I used to do the same thing to other people as a normal reaction to what someone had said, that I didn’t agree with or have any physical words for, but instead let my Minds Mouth speak. Also along with that, I have also participate in using my headphones with music to try and overpower my mind from speaking (From listening to the voices in my head), which never worked in the long run, but only created more thoughts, where my mind just wouldn’t shut up and obviously this was before my process, but still is a point that I haven’t completely walked as of yet, that came up in being shown to me, myself by someone else. So for this;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my mind speak from the perspective of having backchat in the presence of others and although other couldn’t hear it, they would see that it has spoken through my expressions, as in the way I would look at them, the way I would treat them and my actions towards them in general.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have had backchat in the presence of other about what they had said, that I didn’t agree with them on, instead of verbally communicating/discussing with them my point of disagreement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been sitting in the presence of someone that I had a discussion with and didn’t particularly like what they said, but didn’t physically say anything, but instead started whistling and/or humming a song or a jingle to try and hide the fact that my mind was speaking with backchat towards them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have tried to hide the fact that I was having this backchat in my mind about this other person by whistling and/or humming a song or jingle out of fear. The fear that others may catch on to what I was thinking and being that, at that point I had no idea how to stop my mind, I used this as a cover for whenever I was in my secret mind and didn’t/couldn’t at the time stop it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have worn my headphone around other people, because of me not being able to stop myself from listening to my “Minds Mouth” speak (the voices in my head), so I would try to overpower it by listening to music, but still was unable to, because of my lack of focus.

I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to have lacked focus and so looked for something outside of myself to try and help me to stay out of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have then became irritated and reacted to the next thing that someone would say to me, because I didn’t stop and/or could stay out of my mind for any length of time at that time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have said things like; “The silence is deafening” and “The air is thick in here” whenever whistling and/or humming a tune didn’t work for me to stop my mind from thinking/speaking (as in having backchat) about the other person in my presence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have listened to the voices in my head and believed them to be who I am.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that the voice in my head are just that voice in my head, as in my thoughts speaking and that I am able to stop them by saying stop, first and foremost and then applying self-forgiveness for these thoughts whenever my Minds Mouth speaks.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing my mind to speak (having backchat) why’ll in the presence of someone I was having a conversation with and didn’t particularly like what they were saying and/or didn’t agree with what they were saying, where instead of verbally communicating with them my disagreement, I would whistle or hum a song or jingle to try and hide the fact that I was having backchat towards them out of the fear that they may catch on to what I am thinking, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that this fear comes from me not taking responsibility and opening up my physical mouth and speaking my disagreements in communicating effectively with them for a clearer understanding of what they are saying and get to a resolve, but instead let my “Minds Mouth” speak for me, in which case I end up becoming irritated and react to the next thing someone would say, when all I had to do to stop my mind was to open physical mouth and speak.

I commit myself to taking responsibility in opening up my physical mouth and speaking when and as I disagree with someone about what they said and no longer accept and allow my mind to step in and direct me internally in bringing up this negative backchat about the person in completing the conversation in my head, but instead to focus on my breath in the process and then speak with stability and clarity in what I have to say and be done with it.

I commit myself to no longer use my headphone and music to try and overpower my mind from speaking, having backchat/internal conversation in the presence of others, but instead to utilize my breathing as the only tool to keep me present with or without my headphone on, that way I am directing myself in every moment.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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