Day 273: Routes

RoutesIn the city, you have streets, ally’s, highways, byways, river, streams, as route that leads to someplace or another and oddly enough, all of these routes in some way or another also leads to the same place, for example, here in California, everything leads to the ocean, at some point or another, so if one road or highway or street is closed and/or shut down, then you can take an alternate route, which would probably be a roundabout way and out of the way for that matter, but It will lead you to the same point that you were seeking to go. Now for this we have maps, car navigators, navigators on our phones, along with street signs to direct us to the specific point in which we would like to go and/or just plain ole asking someone for directions, either way it can be safe to say that all routes leads to the same point and with these gadgets, it’s nearly impossible to get lost, I mean after a why’ll you will eventually find your way to where you were going or fine yourself back at the same point in which you started.

What I have come to realize is that the mind work in a similar way, where it will present to you a thought connected to a past memory that you have reacted to in the past and during the presentation, if you do not accept and allow the initial thought the mind presents to you, it will then bring up a different thought, as in a different route for you to follow back to that past memory you had reacted to, just like a navigator, directing you back to that point in your past as an incitement for you to react again to the same memory you had, that way the mind can continue rejuvenating and upgrading itself to maintain its possession of, in control of your human physical body, with you in it. I mean it is relentless, if you sit there and watch exactly how your mind operates, it really won’t stop until you stop it. I was blown away to see just how relentless my mind is. Let me explain;

Ok, a short while ago, (about a week or so ago) an old friend resurfaced and reached out to me that I hadn’t spoken to for close to or about 2 years, anyway we caught up on old times and over the next few day, began discussing business ideas, which was cool and we all know that with old friends resurfacing comes old memories of our past, which is cool to because, at this point in my life, I know how and have the tools to stop any old thoughts/feelings/emotions, reactions/backchat/internal conversations about any past memories that would come up and tempt me into going back into them. So last night was when the test really came, where after I got off the phone with this ole friend a slew of memories connected to this one particular person as in a past partner of mine came up and so I knew exactly what to do and where this route of thoughts and memories was headed, so I applied Self-Forgiveness in the moment out loud on each specific point that came up with these memories and then told myself, from here no further will I accept and allow myself to go back and rehash any past reactions I may have had towards these memories and then all was well, up until I was laying down and was ready to go to sleep for the night, where I then realize an fascinating thing happening with my mind.

Now each night right before I go to sleep, I make sure I am realizing my breath and in doing so I am able to slow my mind down and see the thoughts right before and/or as they are coming up and where they would lead to, so no this particular night, it was like my mind wanted to go back in time to that massive reaction I had in relation to this past memory that came up earlier about my past partner and our relationship ending abruptly, on and/or around about the last few times I had spoken to my old friend that had just resurfaced.

So as I was laying there, I saw my mind present me with a direct thought about the situation and I immediately stop it and then 2 seconds later it presented me with a what if scenario to latch onto, implementing my old friend and my past partner being together and I laughed and stopped it, then about 2 more seconds later my mind presented me with a random present, but past picture of me being someplace earlier that day, for me to latch onto and fall for the sleight of hand/thought trick, Lol, (as in saying ok I’m going to give you a roundabout route to get to the same point of you reacting again, because I need that) and at that time, I saw the pattern that my mind was using to try and get me to react once again by presenting me with all of these different routes to get me back to the same point, back in my past to Re- Enact the same reaction I had years ago.

I now see/realize the length to which the mind will go to get me to react, which is a cool realization
because this also show me that I am correcting myself from the reactive, unaware person that I was, to now slowly but surely becoming equal to and one with who self is – leaning to know and live who I am through and through.

Advertisements

About carltontedford

In Process.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s