Day 256: Getting a Check Up/Physical

Getting-a-check-up-physicalIt’s been a while since I’ve gotten a physical examination with blood work done and the works, meaning everything else that one gets check when going to the doctor for a basic physical. I’ve never really had anything wrong with me physically, no broken bones or chronic disease, so pretty much I’ve had a clean bill of health and for the most part still do. This visit was the same as any other visit I’ve ever had, where you’re asked all these medical history questions and answer them accordingly, in my case my answers would be the majority if not all No’s.

Usually when I have been to the doctor to get a Check Up/Physical, my mind would be racing in wonder what the outcome would be, where I would produce this fear (for no reason) within myself, in thinking/perceiving/believing, what if they found something wrong with me and end up working myself all up for nothing, to find out I still have a clean bill of health, from the medical professions perspective.

It’s been over a few years since I’ve had a Check Up/Physical, in which the old me would have excused causes for worry for example, back in the day me being an avid News watcher/follower and Conspiracy Theorist, whatever I saw on the News as far as a New Diseases/Viruses/Bacteria Strands that would be talked about, I would immediately go into fear in thinking, what if I contracted that in some way, so if ever it was time for me to go and get a Check Up, I would be a nervous wreck, so my Check Ups was far and few in between, to the point of not even going unless it was Job/Work related and mandatory and although I knew within me that nothing was wrong, I still had this underlying point of fear of what if possibly something was wrong, but in the end I always checked out with a clean bill of health.

This time I experienced quite the opposite, where there wasn’t any backchat/internal conversations leading up to making an appointment, calling making the appointment, on the way to the appointment, at the appointment, waiting for my result of the appointment, leaving the appointment and coming back home from the appointment, so within that, I can see a drastic change from the person I used to be, in relation to getting a Check Up/Physical to the person I am/was going into the doctor’s office earlier today, with no thoughts, emotional or feelings energy coming up within and as me what so ever. For that I am grateful for the process I am walking, where I can see and experience a bit of change, enough to inspire/motivate me to continue. It’s almost like a fix, where I want more and more, (Lol) meaning, I want to experience more change and so I continue walking my process of change.

Another thing that crossed my mind why’ll sitting in the doctor’s office was, wouldn’t it be cool to when you go to see a doctor for a Check Up/Physical that the doctor is able to tell you which thought pattern you have that connects to the actual ailment and give you a Prescription Application of Self-Forgiveness, along with your diagnoses? That’s actually what we’re doing by walking our process and working with our minds in investigating/introspecting ourselves in seeing how we have created ourselves into what we have become.

So although a doctor may have a basic format of why one is experiencing oneself a certain way and may have contracted certain ailments and can give you short term solutions, it’s still up to us to give ourselves the long term solution, whereby we investigate the root causes of our problems, which is our thinking patterns/suppressions that got us to the point of an ailment forming within our Physical Bodies and correct the underlying points through Writing, Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application to assist and support ourselves to no longer accept and allow ourselves to return to our old ways of thinking/patterns/suppressions/judgment/comparisons, which is in disregard to our Human Physical Bodies, but to be able to stand Equal to and One with who Self is – Knowing/Living you we are through and through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have in my past before, whenever I would go to the doctor’s to get a Check Up/Physical accept and allow my mind to be racing in wonder what the outcome would be, where I would produce this fear (for no reason) within myself, in thinking/perceiving/believing, what if they found something wrong with me and end up working myself all up for nothing, to find out that I still had a clean bill of health.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have produced this fear within me, before I would go to get a Check Up/Physical at the doctor’s office, throughout my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have excused causes for worry, for example, back in the day, being that I was an avid News watcher/follower and Conspiracy Theorist, whatever I saw on the News as far as the New Diseases/Viruses/Bacteria Stands that would be talked about, I would immediately go into fear in thinking, what if I contracted that in some way or another and would become a nervous wreck whenever I would have to go get a Check Up/Physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become a nervous wreck, back in the Day by imagining myself contracting a disease/virus/bacteria strand that I saw being talked about on the News.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been scared and not go get a Check Up,
unless it was Job/Work related and was mandatory, because of what I would see and hear on the News although I knew there was nothing wrong with me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand, back then that I was mining myself for my mind, to which I gave directive principle to and would react to in fear every time my mind would present to me what I thought was a scary picture, but always ended up being an illusion.

When and as I see that I am going into my mind and assuming that what I saw and/or heard on the News or anywhere else, might in some way or another have happen to me, where I become fearful/too scared to even go get a regular Check Up/Physical, I stop and breathe, to bring myself back here and realize that I am accepting and allowing my mind to direct me and this is again a pattern that I have followed all my life and in that moment I should forgive myself for bringing back up this pattern of fearing an illusion that is being presented to me by my mind.

I commit myself to my process of change and no longer accept and allow any picture, thought, memory, imagination, assumption to make me react in fear and compromise my well-being and disregarding my physical body, but instead to remain in breath, when and as I see, hear or come across new News throughout my day.

I commit myself to regarding my body in the things I do.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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