Day 254: When Things Are Not Said

When-thinigs-are-not-saidWhen things are not said, it leaves the mind to wonder, this is also where assumptions set in and miscommunication is the outcome. We use miscommunication as an excuse to try and calm the arising situation and/or to get over the point that wasn’t effectively communicated and nine (9) times out of ten (10), by the time we do end up saying anything, our entire outlook and perspective of what we were going to say or have said without clarity has changed, only because we are in the presence of others and thus we end up saying; “It was just a miscommunication”, “My bad” and leave it at that. Still not saying exactly what we wanted to say.

When things are not said, that’s when shit happen. A prime example is, say you are in a relationship (a guy) and you have friends (of course) and your friend knows your partner through you, again (of course) and your partner considers your friend a cool friend to you, now what you do for some reason or another is, you go out on your own, doing whatever it is that you do, it doesn’t matter, but what does matter is when you come back home and your partner ask you, where have you been, and you tell your partner; “I was hanging out with this specific friend”, but didn’t or forgot to tell that friend that you told your partner that you guys was hanging out the other night, doing whatever, so the next time your friend sees you with your partner, it comes out in the open, where your friend either ask you, what did you do the other night or your partner ask your friend, so what did you guys do the other night and your friend immediately tell the truth and now you’re faced with a situation, when things are not said. (Mind you this is not in any way condoning lying to your partner or saying that this type of behavior is cool, No) This is merely an example of when things are not said and in the end you have jeopardize/compromised both your relationships with your partner and your friend. Not cool.

When things are not said in the business world, lack of communication doesn’t work as an excuse, for example, let say you have a meeting and at the end of the meeting you’re still unsure on the approach that is to be taken, but you don’t want to ask anyone about that which you are unsure about, out of the fear of being talked about, laughed at ridiculed or even criticized and you end up making a decision that loses the company a lot of money and/or doing something that may set the company back about 6 months or so, the consequence to this is either, you getting fired, the company going under and or both. This is what happens when things are not said.

When things are not said an understanding can’t be reach, where you expect others to already know what you mean, what to do and what not to do, what to say and what not to say, how to act and how to be, so when your child doesn’t abide by what is not said and expected of them, why do we punish them, when in fact what was said (if anything) was unclear and because they fear you they won’t ask for clarity. The consequence to this is the child growing up to hate you their parent, which all stemmed from this one incident, when things weren’t said.

When things are not said or asked, how do you expect to change, when trying to comprehend the amount of information that goes through your brain? We think we know everything and that’s where the problem is, that is until we realize that what we thought we knew is where the problem is.

When things are not said that’s when mistakes are made, because we don’t ask questions and would rather take it to the grave.

And again when things are not said and we do know what’s going on, we still experience consequences for stinging someone along.

When things are not said, whatever the outcome we must face, because we took it upon ourselves to wait too late, to say anything which sometimes comes with repercussions, for ourselves as well as others, from the choice we made to not have a discussion, to speak nor mention what’s been stuck in our heads, nothing will ever change when things are not said.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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