Have you ever spoken to someone one day and had a cool normal conversation with them and then the next time you see them, they act as if they don’t know you and won’t even look at you to save the world, so to speak? When you confront them and say “Hi”, they’ll ignore you and continue acting as if they didn’t hear you, that is until you get close enough to where they have to say something, and if you say “Hey” or “Hi” again, they’ll respond with “Huh” and/or “Oh I didn’t see you” and come up with an excuse for not acknowledging you in the first place. The most predominate excuse, I’ve experienced being said to me is; “Oh I’m sorry, I just got a lot on my mind and wasn’t paying attention” and then they go into this spiteful behavior as in saying; “So what’s up” as if you wanted something and/or interrupted them from doing something important, when all you were doing was saying; “Hi’ and their last response before brush you off would be; “Oh”, “Ok” and that’s it. We then walk away perplexed about what just happened and consume ourselves with thoughts and the backchat of; “What did I do” and “What’s bugging them” and start judging ourselves in thinking something is wrong with us, when in fact it’s not, It’s something wrong with them.
So why do we change in a flash? There are quite a few reasons why we do this and depending on how well you know the person, do the reasons vary. First off, if you know this person fairly well and it seems as if there shouldn’t be any reason why this person should be acting this way towards you, what I’ve found is that nine (9) times out of ten (10), someone has told this person something about you that is most likely not true, but this person for some reason or another has either taken sides with whomever told them the information or have their own self-interested reasons for wanting to believe such information, in which case it’s either out of fear or jealousy, meaning they fear that if they talk to you the other person or friend in question will be upset/angry/mad at them and so they don’t want to risk it or they really never liked you in the first place, because they’ve always been jealous of you and so anything negative that’s told to them about you, they’ve been wait for and this was the prime opportunity for them to shun you. On the other hand, if you barely know them or were getting to know them; then it’s fairly simple to see that they were vetting you, in trying to figuring out in their own mind, if you were someone that would suit their self-interest or not, mean, in the process of, they came across some information that didn’t set well or align with their way of thinking and their way of letting you know is to ignore you.
This is but one example of the extent in which we separate ourselves from others and why and how we change in a flash, which is another form of “Flip Flopping”. I mean it’s rather sad because in the mist of doing this we have no idea of what’s going on inside us, we think we’re making a sound decision, but in fact we’re not. What we don’t realize is that we are being directed by our minds and controlled by/through the words of others in solidifying/chasing after the well-being of a relationship, which will most likely fail, because if you participated in doing this to one person then you can rest assure that it will be done to you, most likely by the person that gave you the information in the first place.
So 99% of the change we ever experience, is not inverted into self-change, but projected onto others as we change in a flash towards them. The remedy to this is to build a relationship with yourself in becoming self-intimate with yourself and thus give yourself that which you believe you lack and look for in a relationship with others, so when a situation as such arises in your world and reality, you will be able to direct it and experience self-change, instead of changing in a flash towards others.