Day 242: Flip Flopping

fLIP-FLOPPINGFlip flopping is terminology used in the political area where one candidate would accuse the other of going back on their stance about the way they would handle or have handled a government issue, in the past, present or future tense or thing in order to get elected. In layman’s term this means that you’ll say one thing in one moment and deny that you’ve said it in the next moment or you have “I’ve seen the light” which should excuse you in some way for changing your stance. In other words, you just straight out lied.

Why is it that when dealing with anything really, we tend to, go back on our words. This happens mostly when it comes to money, as well as when what one says is not in accordance with what everyone else is thinking and in that case, we don’t want to be seen as the odd ball or the only one out there, out of the fear of being ridiculed or ostracized or something else happening to us, by the group or partners or people around. So what happens is that around one or two people we will say and/or admit or agree to something, but when it’s brought to the forefront, around everyone else; judging off of their reactions to what happened, we flat out deny it and/or change our whole stance/story around it, which is an extremely confrontational situation, because the one’s that heard what was originally said, is not put on the spot and is forced to defend what they heard and told. This is not a cool situation.

I have been faced with this exact situation a while back, where I realized someone had done something/broken something that was under my care, and when I individually confronted them about it, they finally admitted to what they had done, but when others started coming around and saw what had happen, this person saw the concern on their faces and immediately flip flopped on me. I then went into a reaction of anger, which at that time only escalated the situation and no resolved was reached. I ended up being the one having to walk through the consequence for the thing being broken, being that, it was my job to look after things in the first place, so that shows that reactions of anger in any case are not warranted and in no way a remedy for figuring out the solution to the problem/situation.

When it comes to a money situation (with business partners), it’s within the same context but a different approach is taken, where you’ll agree to what you think to be a fair compensation as payment for what you’ve put into the business thus far, in the beginning, but when you see the outcome of what the business made, you flip flop on what you originally agreed to being fair. This is done by the person in question, adding more onto what they’ve put into the business along with a sob story of why they are stressing out and “don’t” have money at the time. Nine times out of ten this is all a concoction, made up story to play off of the emotions of those that don’t know any better and have a weak spot for sob stories, to get more out of it.

The problem with this is that, at the end of the day, this approach will probably only work one time (if you’re lucky), but it also leaves a sour taste in everyone else’s mouth about what just happen, and therefore you become untrustworthy and no one wants to do business with you. This is brought on by greed, where you’re really saying; “Damn everyone else, I need to get all mine first and then some and what’s left over, they can all scrape for it”. Within this, what is not seen/realized/understood is that a momentary point of greed, will turn into a lifetime of banishment, because no one will want to work with you and thus every person you come across, you’ll end up doing the same thing to, until there is no one left, that is willing work with you.

What it all boils down to, is that we Flip Fop for plenty of reasons, but to name a few of what I’ve experienced is what I’ve done, one being greed, where our eyes become as big as our egos, in which case the ego will have its revenge and leave you banished and alone. Another is Flip Flopping out of fear, where we do not want to be caught up in the mess we agreed to making and in this case we put others reputations and words on the line of what they heard as admittance to, from the person in question. And then you have Flip Flopping to obtain status where, to be or not to be seen as having been on the wrong side of things becomes crucial in obtaining a position/status/office/title. In each case we’re face with consequences for abdicating your responsibility and not sticking to what we’ve said/admitted to or agreed to and find ourselves seen as untrustworthy and alone. The thing is to watch what we do and say, because at the point of it being brought up, will you standby and take responsibility for what you’ve said and/or have done or will you Flip Flop, like all the rest?

Self-Honesty is the key to Standing.

About carltontedford

In Process.
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