Day 240: Hurt Yourself

Hurt-YourselfA Band-Aide is for a cut, scrape or scratch that bleeds. A cast is for when a bone is broken somewhere in your body.

Have you ever ran into a wall and stubbed your pinky toe and then laid down screaming, waiting for the pain to go? Or

How many times have you yelled when you’ve bumped your shin and realized that you only pulled back the skin?

Have you ever did something where you jammed your finger and dislocated it for a second, and then pulled it back in place, as if nothing ever happened?

Have you ever twisted or sprain your ankle and watch it swell up in your shoe and the first thing that came to your mind is what the hell am I going to do?

Have you ever experienced a paper cut on your hand or cut your finger why’ll cooking, and then look for something to blame because you weren’t looking?

Have you ever held a nail in place why’ll hammering and then smash your thumb, and realized the first thing that comes out your mouth was man that was dumb?

This may seem a bit much, but all of the above I have experienced and although each time It was my fault (of course) for hurting myself, not once did I ever consider (back then) telling the specific parts on my body, sorry for hurting you, I mean this is something that we simply over look because at times it seems as if the pain is too much to bare, which I’m sure it is in some cases. It’s like the more I reacted to the pain the more the pain came, which made things worse, but what I have been doing recently is, every time I hurt myself, I immediately tell my body part, “I’m sorry” and what I’ve notice is that the pain goes away which was rather shocking because, I had to ask myself why haven’t I ever tried this before, I mean it works for me.

This also brings up a point of paying attention to what we are doing i.e. (where we’re walking), because the moment we lose focus of what we’re doing and where we’re going is the moment we hurt ourselves by running into something and/or especially if we are doing something physical like working with equipment/tools or even in the kitchen, where we would end up cutting ourselves or could even lose a finger if we’re not careful, so it behooves us to stay out of our minds and remain Here, focusing on our breath in every moment especially when we’re doing thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have hurt myself and not once ever considered telling the specific part on my body, sorry for hurting you.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have overlooked my body when I have hurt it and only focused on the pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I’ve hurt myself focus on the pain to the point of more pain coming.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that when and as I hurt myself, if I considered my body by telling my body I’m sorry for hurting you right away, then the pain will go away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have at times not focused on what I was doing or where I was walking and ended up hurting myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have after I had hurt myself, look for something to blame because I wasn’t looking at/watching what I was doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have hurt myself and became angry because I thought the pain was too much, when it was me being mad at myself for not paying attention to what I was doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that the pain I experienced was brought on by some external force, instead of seeing/realizing/understand that I have inflicted it onto myself by my own carelessness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have reacted to the pain I experienced instead of learning from it in focus on what I am doing.

When and as I am doing things or walking someplace, I commit myself to paying attention and focusing on what I am do and/or where I am walking so that I won’t put myself in a position of being hurt and if I am to hurt myself, to tell my body I’m sorry for hurting you.

I commit myself to focusing on and paying attention to what I am doing as to not hurt myself.

I commit myself to when and as I do hurt myself to continue saying I’m sorry to my body for hurting it.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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