Day 238: Offering

OfferingWhat a word, offering, from my perspective, it seems as if this is a nice inconspicuous way to say “give me money”. Growing up in and around churches, I have experienced plenty of offering; ways to invoke people into giving there hard earned money. A normal offering is when (in church) the choir gets up and sing their hearts out to get the people all excited and once that is achieved and everyone is excited with chill bump and shit (why’ll the music is still going) the pastor or head minister gets up and says something along the lines of; “God is in this place, wouldn’t you agree” and the congregation already excited would say “Yes” and the Pastor or head Minister would then say in somewhat of a demanding voice; “Praise him” and the congregation would go wild (why’ll the music is still playing) and right at the height of all the excitement the pastor or head minister introduces the offering and put it all on god that they need their money and the interesting part (trap) is when they say in a roundabout way; “If you don’t give an offering, nothing, I mean nothing in your life is going to go right this week” and then the congregation is ushered (ordered) to stand up, and row by row escorted to the front of the church to give away all of what they have to this establishment of Crooks.

The phrase; “Give if you WANT to Receive” is synonymous for the word offering, where the giving is only done out of self-interest, in Hope that we will receive at least equal the amount of that something, preferably more than what we gave, which when it comes to the church offering, we are paying to receive that Energetic Rush of a Good Feeling, which is brought on by a Positive Feel Good message, which is specifically directed towards those in the church. And we Hope that this Good Feeling we just received, last all week.

As I started to pull away from the whole church life thing, one thing that I noticed, that stayed embedded within me (Although I never really agreed with it) was the offering, where now from a whole different perspective, looking in hindsight, I saw myself giving offering to get, have and do things, such as Peace Offerings, Friendship Offerings, Relationship Offerings and Offerings to get into place that I would normally not be able to get in to. I mean I did this in Hope of finding status and happiness, in which I momentarily found both, or so I thought, not realizing the ultimately price that I was offering for consequences, meaning I had no Peace because I tried to bargain and pay for it. I had no Real Friends because I bought them all and when the money ran out so did they. My Relationships wasn’t real and didn’t last, because no matter how much money you have, you can’t buy someone to like you, especially if you’re a dick and so on and so forth.

This Is interesting to look at from this perspective, because when you look at it, you’ll see that almost everything we do is still connected to giving an offering in some way or another, meaning we have to buy things in order to survive, so we end up offering our hard earned money to purchase things and after they run out, we feel like shit, because now we have to go back to wherever and give more offering to get what we want, let alone what we need to survive and it gets much worse for those that don’t have anything to offer, where we end up compromising ourselves, in having to do things that we don’t really want to do, in order to procure offerings to offer for our survival, to eat, to live, to maintain a roof over our heads and to support our family’s.

Seeing that something is severely off with the whole offering thing, how often have you looked in the mirror and realized that the problem exist in what you see, and even when offered a solution we turn the other cheek because we don’t want to face ourselves from taking from ourselves, because we’re too greedy. So, stop offering yourself up out of Self-Interest, and give back to yourself that which is YOU.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought/perceived/believed that giving offering to the church would give me eternal life, when all I received was an Energetic Rush of a Good Feeling brought on by a Positive Feel Good message, which in most cases didn’t last when I walked outside the church doors.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been brainwashed into believing
that if I gave an offering to the church, my life would change for the better, which nothing happened.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been tricked into believing that the excitement I experienced in church was real and an act from god, which thus made it easier for me to give an offering to the church.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been brainwashed into believing that if I didn’t give an offering to the church, nothing in my life would go right the next week, although nothing was going right in my life to begin with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have followed the phrase “Give if you WANT to Receive” in believing that if I gave an offering I would receive something in return, preferably more than what I gave, out of Self-Interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to have once I started to pull away from the whole church thing, one thing that I noticed that stayed embedded within me (although I never really agreed with it) was the offering, where now, looking in hindsight, I saw myself giving offering to get, have and do things, such as Peace Offerings, Friendship Offerings, Relationship Offerings and Offerings to get into places that I would normally not be able to get into.

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given Peace Offerings, not realizing that I would have no Peace because I tried to bargain and pay for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given Friendship Offerings, not realizing that I would have no Real Friends, because I bought them all and when the money ran out so would they.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given Relationship Offerings, not realizing that none of my Relationships would be real or last, because no matter how much money I had, I couldn’t buy someone to like me, especially when I was a dick.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am offering myself up in a compromising way to receive something merely out of my own self-interested wants/needs/desires, where I brain trick myself into believing the phrase; “Give if you WANT to receive” and end up degrading my life instead of living life to my utmost potential as that which is best for all life, I stop, breathe and have a look in the mirror to realize that the problem exist in what I see, which is me and no offering will correct and/or change me in anyway what so ever, but instead I must change and correct myself by facing myself for giving myself and my power away as an offering to be brainwashed and controlled and take back my power and give back to myself that which is me.

I commit myself to no longer giving Peace Offerings, but instead to experience Peace as an Expression of me.

I commit myself to no longer giving Friendship Offerings, but instead to befriend and get to know more, the man in the mirror.

I commit myself to no longer giving Relationship Offering, but instead to build a sound Agreement with myself.

I commit myself to dwelling in the solution of introspection in correcting my relationship to offering from within myself internally, so that the Offering as it exist today can change without, externally.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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