Day 231: One of those Days

One-of-those-daysIt started with watching a movie the night before I went to bed, where I then dreamed about the movie with awareness meaning every time a scene from the movie, a picture of one of the actors or the dialogue would come up in my dream, I would stop it, wake myself up, apply self-forgiveness in that moment and then fall back to sleep and repeated this several times throughout the night until it was time for me to get up and that’s when I knew today would be one of those days.

As a side note I no longer attach myself emotionally or with feeling to movies any longer like I use to, so as my day started, scenes from this movie kept creeping up within and as me and I kept stopping and forgiving myself for them, but they would continue coming up. Within that, little simple things started happening that you can say was somewhat like natural occurrences of things going wrong, but being that I was preoccupied in my mind; these little simple things seemed like mountains.

It felt like someone was on the other side of the veil purposefully pushing my buttons to try and get me to react and for a moment I became frustrated, but I kept forgiving myself in every moment and to top it all off (for context) in the mornings I usually call my work partner to see where he left off because he works the night shift and what specifically needs to be done for the morning shift (my shift) and to clarify the specifics, so he told me what was left to be done and I did it and as soon as I finished completing the task, I received another phone call from him about 3 hours later, where he then asked if I did it a different way then what he originally told me; to make a long story short he then added more specifics that was needed to be done, as in using this thing for that and that thing for this, that he forgot to tell me about, I then told him, I was finished and after a while we figured out the resolve to the situation, but the point being, this was only the start of being one of those days and a lot more in between that time happen, which was a prime opportunity for me to react and go insane, but I didn’t because I knew that this was something different that I hadn’t experienced before on this level, that I’m aware of.

As I continued with my schedule, I had a 10:00 am appointment, which ended up going smoothly and came back to my place and set off to the laundry mat to do some laundry and once I got to the laundry mat, I saw a sign on the door that said NO WATER (meaning they was closed and today my laundry day), so I laughed it off and came back to my place and realized the guy who was here working had flooded the place but cleaned most of it up and the first thing that came out of his mouth was; “It’s just One of those Days, so I laughed and told him, that’s what I started writing as the title of my blog for today and we both had a laugh.

What I found, saw, realized and told myself as the root cause was that the mind was stepping up its game play ,so I had better step my awareness up, because at first I would just experience having a not so good day, where there would be only a few things going wrong and by the middle of the day everything would be fine, but today I can say was a test for me to see if I would react to anything the mind throw are me and the mind showing me that I needed to step my awareness up, because what I do know is that it will get harder before it gets easier and that’s enough to show me that there is still much work for me to do within my process, so;

When you slack you move backwards.

I commit myself no longer accept and allow myself to remain stagnate in my process by only getting to a point and thinking I need a breather, because moments like these are what the mind is waiting for to step in and assist me in showing me that it stepped its game up and I need to step my awareness up and realizing that there is more to be done within myself and the only way to achieve this is to continue walking my process as this will lead me to full self-realization, understanding, self-trust and self-awareness to be able to become life as who I am, so when another one of these days come up, I treat it as any other day, where I remain stable and nothing moves me but me directing me to that which is best for all, which is best for me.

About carltontedford

In Process.
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