Day 228: Looks can be Deceiving

Looks-can-be-deceivingOr might I say, looks are deceiving. The statement; “what you see”… is not always what you get, because we chose things for the looks, not the actual getting to know it/them. I mean when you go grocery shopping and pick up a piece of fruit or vegetable, you don’t just put it in the bag, you get to know it (somewhat) before you decide to purchase it. What do we do, we touch it, we squeeze it, we shake it, we see if it’s firm or mushy or rotten and/or have hole in it, even if we don’t know what we’re looking for, we get to know it, before we decide to bring it home and into our worlds. So why is it then, that we don’t apply this same methodology to everything we see and/or hear about, especially when it comes to other human being, do we see if that person have a firm, stable foundation within themself, do we see if that person is mushy as in emotionally driven, do we see if that person have a rotten sense of humor, can we see if that person is telling the truth or not, or if their story have holes in it. Is this what we’re looking for? (Come on be honest here) The answer is NO, NO, NO and Hell NO, simply because we haven’t looked within ourselves to see if we have a firm, stable foundation. We haven’t look within ourselves to see if we are in control of our emotions, or if our emotions is in control of us. We haven’t look within ourselves to see if our sense of humor is self-orientated or projected towards others, giving us a rotten sense of humor and most importantly, are we even true to ourselves? This remains to be seen! Therefore we fall head over hills, knowing that looks can be deceiving, but still deceive ourselves into looking twice and choosing that which we see as a deceitful choice, because we are blinded by the Kool look of that person or thing, as something we must have.

Failed relationship after failed relationship after failed relationship is my life’s story and self-honestly enough this relates to girls and guys, where looks was an essential part of my friend relationship with a guy, because if they didn’t know how to dress or looked crazy every time they came outside the house, I wouldn’t hang out with them or even want to be seen with them. I was too superficial and self-righteous to see the difference between a real friendship with someone who didn’t dress to impress or please and others who had a good sense of fashion. Turns out in the long run, I was deceived by the looks of fashion, wondering what happen, when my world started crashing down around me, at which point it was too late to take action and ended as another failed relationship. And this is a given, girls having to be lookers, (good looking). You know what’s interesting about the whole talking to the best looking girl/girls in the house thing was; not the point of really getting to know them, but the point of being seen with them and thus I would build a relationship with them based on that, and ended up deceiving myself based on the status of being with a looker, instead of me looking to see if there was a real point in being with her in the first place, which perpetuated another (A not Her) failed relationship.

Face value, we place value to a face, out of self-interest, in my case from a past tense, where a nice conversation was an invitation to getting to know a face and in fact, I did to a point and would leave it right there and invite that person into my world and reality all the same, although I knew where it would lead to, this being a form of my self-deception, I would look at the situation and deceive myself into thinking/perceiving/believing that it could possibly be something different this time. Well it wasn’t and never will be; So it was pretty fascinating to find myself in another test-ful situation, where I had a cool conversation with someone in a social setting, and the following week unexpectedly saw them again and had another normal cool conversation with them, then this week found myself thinking about the past two weeks and the conversations that I had with this person, where this person keep coming up back to back as thoughts and memories in my mind, and so when I was out in a social setting just today, I didn’t see that person and had to stop myself from overthinking, by telling myself remember; “Looks can be Deceiving”, which in my case means, I am deceiving myself into believing that what I experienced was more than it was, and to let it go and that’s what I did.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to know that looks can be deceiving, but yet and still go after the looks of a person and/or thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have deceived myself into believing that just maybe every time, the looks of someone or something may not be deceiving this time, and sure enough all else fails, which brings into question my starting point for looking in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have applied the looking and getting to know a piece of fruit or vegetable methodology in getting to know another human being, where I see if that person have a firm, stable foundation within themselves, or see if that person is emotionally driven, or see if that person have a rotten sense of humor, or being able to see if that person is telling the truth or not in what they say, or if their story have holes in it, because I myself hadn’t looked within myself to see if I had a firm, stable foundation, or if I was in control of my emotions or were my emotion in control of me, or to see if my sense of humor was self-orientated or projected towards others, given me a rotten sense of humor and most importantly, I didn’t know how to be true to myself and therefore only went after the looks.

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have fail head over hills, knowing that looks can be deceiving, but still deceive myself into looking twice and choosing that which I saw as a deceitful choice, because I was blinded by the Kool look of that person and/or thing, as something I must have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throughout my life experience failed relationships, in relation to girls and guys, where looks was an essential part of my friendship relationship with a guy, because if they didn’t know how to dress of looked crazy every time they came outside the house, I wouldn’t hang out with them or even want to be seen with them. In this,
I forgive myself that I have accepted to have judged others and separated myself from them by the way they look/dressed.

Within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too superficial and self-righteous to be able to see the difference between a real friendship with someone who didn’t dress to impress or please and others who had a good sense of fashion, not realizing that in the long run I would be deceived by the looks of fashion, wondering what happen, when my world started crashing down around me, at which point it was too late to take action and ended as another failed relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have built a relationship in my past with a girl off of them being the best looking girl in the house and being seen with them, which in the end, I ended up deceiving myself based on the status of being with a looker (good looking girl), instead of me looking to see if there was a real point in being with her in the first place, which perpetuated another (A not Her) failed relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have placed value to a face out of self-interest, where I would invite a person into my world and reality all the same, although I knew where it would lead to, this being a form of self-deception, I would looks at the situation and deceive myself into thinking/perceiving/believing that it could possibly be something different this time. Well it wasn’t and never will be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have found myself in another test-ful situation where I ended up overthinking about someone who I had a few cool conversations with twice in the last couple weeks and had to tell myself as a reminder that looks can be deceiving, which in my case means I was deceiving myself into believing that what I experienced was more than what it was and to let it go. Therefore, I commit myself to letting go of any test-ful situation, I find myself in relations to deceiving myself into believing looks and a conversation is who a person is, but instead to look within my own self and see where I think I am lacking in the moment to let myself deceive myself into looking abroad for self-acceptance, self-trust, self-awareness and self-expression and give that to myself.

When and as I see myself going after the looks of a person or thing, where I would end up deceiving myself into believing that things may be different this time and end up thinking about that person and/or thing as something I must have, I stop and breathe, I see, realize and understand that I have played this game long enough with myself and to continue to perpetuate it, is to continue to set myself back within a time loop of repeating the same mistake of my past over again, which results in more failed relationships, simply because I don’t take the time to and with the correct starting point to get to know another person for who they really are and so;

I commit myself to no longer deceiving myself into believing and letting looks be the predominant factor in deciding to let someone in my world and reality, but instead to get to know myself first, where I am standing equal to and one with who self is – knowing/living who I am through and through and within that I will be able to really get to know someone else as who they are and not just as a superficial look or conversation.

Advertisements

About carltontedford

In Process.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s