Day 227: Calm as the Resolve

Calm-as-the-resolveIf you know that you are correct about and incident with another person, preferably about money, where they asked you to do a favor for them with the promise of being paid back and/or paid for the favor and you leave it up to the person to contact you and fulfill their promise, nine (9) times out of ten (10), you can chalk it up, because in most cases first off, if they are asking you for a favor, this pretty much mean that they don’t (or maybe they do) have the means to do it themselves and therefore they’re asking you (who might or might not have the means in the long run) to do it, but we do it anyway, under the assumption of their beckon request being an immediate need or an emergency, when in fact it is out of their own self-interest and/or greed to ask for the favor. What I realized is that the self-interest part (trap) is the point of them getting what they want, under the disguise of an immediate need, which is actually how they reel us in. And the greed part (trap) is rarely noticed; where they already know that we’ll do them the favor, so they won’t have to spend their own money. Sort of like we do in deciding to use our credit card and keep the cash in our pockets. (Now don’t get me wrong there are special cases where people follow through with what they say they’ll do, but those are far and few in between.)

Anyway this is then where the mind steps in; when we don’t immediately hear from them as we try and call them or leave them nice text messages for them to call us back, and by the time we do get in touch with them, we’ve been through (hypothetically speaking) a million and 4 thoughts, scenarios, emotions and feeling, and then the play out happens, where on the phone if you will, notice them first off, downplaying the situation and/or the amount of money it is, and if this happens, what I realize is that this means that they have what you favored them, but the tricky part is, they was waiting for this moment of conflict/argument to happen with you, to not have to pay you for your favor, so to fall into this trap is to face the consequence for it.

Calm as the Resolve!

The other day I was reading THIS blog post, where the person was sharing how they were faced with a situation where they gave someone a product and the person ended up not paying them for it. As I was reading, I was going through a similar situation; (that which I have written about in the above paragraphs), that sort of opened my eyes to see a different perspective of handling the situation I was faced with, I mean the blog was very supportive so “Thank You”.

Once I reached the point of talking to this person on the phone my initial action was to react with a harsh explanation of the ongoing situation and then saw where that was leading to, so I took a step back within myself, cleared myself and dropped my voice -3db and started over; As soon as I did that the person on the other end followed suit, at which time I was able to come up with a solution for the both of us, in using Calm as a Resolve.

It is extremely important to use calm as a resolve, whether you’re calming yourself and/or a calm able person or situation down, because in reality shit can go south real quick, that’s why one must use breath in every moment in remaining here to have a clear head and see things clearly to be able to come up with a viable solution that is best for both parties involved.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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2 Responses to Day 227: Calm as the Resolve

  1. Viktor Persson says:

    That’s a cool way of dealing with the point Carlton – I’ve myself noted a desire to bring in the big guns immediately, such as saying “I will sue you!” – though most often there are other ways to deal with the point in mutual understanding – though that require that we remain stable and direct the point in common sense – not taking the event personally

    Thanks for sharing!

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