Day 225: Watch the Words you speak

Watching-the-words-that-I-speakCause and effect, meaning they may cause the person/persons whom you are speaking with to take drastic measure against someone about something they really have no clue or idea about, all they did was listen to you speak and them being your friend formed and opinion about that in which you spoke on, which in turn clouded their judgment in making a decision that had a detrimental effect on them and/or the person that you spoke about.

In the moments we have someone’s undivided attention, why is it that we become excited in a way and instead of sticking to the actual fact of what we’re saying we tend to add our point of view into it as if it was actual fact, what is not realized is our alteration from the facts changes the entire dynamic of the conversation, where now at a point the person might say I don’t understand or I’m not following you and to cover up our fuck up we end up digging ourselves deeper into the shit when all we had to do was to stick to the facts of what we were talking about.

There are many dimension in watching the words we speak, another is when we recite knowledge and information with no practical understanding of what we’re talking about, because we’re not actually living the words that we speak, we do this out of self-interest when we are either trying to impress someone or make ourselves seem more than we are, from the perspective of having someone say; “you’re smart” and usually this is in relation to trying to look “good” in front of a girl/ or guy depending on the situation.

In my life I have been affected on both ends of what others have said about me and to me about someone else, where on one hand I would react if I learned what someone has said about me as they’re opinionated assumption to someone else, the thing is I would immediately react without taking into consideration the starting point for that person telling me or if that person was telling the truth or not about what someone said about me, so it’s like a double conundrum that I was facing. On the other hand, it’s like since I was their friend, I felt somewhat inclined to follow and believe what they were saying about another person and although I probably didn’t really know the person they were talking about, I’d find myself in the presence of that person feeling uncomfortable and/or treating that person as if they did something to me, I mean time will tell everything, so after a period of time, it would be a situation where I got to know the person in question and realize all of what I’ve heard, believed and acted upon was a false assumption based on what someone else had said and I would again react in self-judgment and backchat of how dumb I was and felt for believing what someone said about this person that didn’t add up.

This doesn’t exempt me from being the one to just frivolously speak, without watching what I say, I mean it was just like me to say whatever was on my mind at any given moment and tell myself that I didn’t care, but the not care part was an excuse I used, because I had no idea what I was talking about sometimes. I would find myself blabbing for attention is what it boils down to, which nine times out of ten got me in more trouble and affected my relationship with a lot of people and on top of all that, I was a bit too cocky to take responsibility in admitting when I was wrong and in the long run, now I am still experiencing the consequences for not watching the words that I spoke/speak.

I see/realize/understand that words play and intricate role in everything I do in my life and in order to understand who I really am, each word that I speak has to be redefined in accordance to that which is best for all life. And so I commit myself to redefining the words that I speak: that they reflex my ability and my standing equal to and one with who self is – knowing living who I am through and through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have not watched the words that I speak that may have had a cause and effect, meaning they may have caused the person/persons I was speaking with to take drastic measures against someone about something they really had no cue or idea about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used my friendship with someone in getting them to think as I did about someone about something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have, when I’ve had someone’s undivided attention became excited in a way and instead of sticking to the actual fact of what I was saying I would add my point of view into it as if it was actual fact, not realizing that by altering the facts I was digging myself deeper into the shit when all I had to do was to stick to the facts of what I was talking about in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have recited knowledge and information with no practical understanding of what I was talking about, because at that time I wasn’t living the words that I speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have out of self-interest recited knowledge and information trying to impress someone and/or trying to look good in front of a girl and/or a guy in different situations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have reacted if I learned what someone has said about me as they’re opinionated assumption to someone else, where I would immediately react without taking into consideration the starting point for the person telling me or if that person was telling the truth or not about what someone said about me and was faced with sort of a double conundrum.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to on the other hand, in being someone’s friend, I would feel somewhat inclined to follow and believe what they were talking about and would find myself in the presence of that person feeling uncomfortable and/or treating that person as if they did something to me and would only find after a period of time, there would be a situation where I got to know the person in question and realize all of what I’ve heard, believed and acted upon was a false assumption based on what someone else had said.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then react in self-judgment and backchat of; how dumb I was and felt for believing what my friend said about this person that didn’t add up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been one to just frivolously speak without watching what I say. It was just like me to say whatever was on my mind at any given moment and tell myself that I didn’t care, but the not care part was an excuse I used, because I had no Idea what I was talking about sometimes, within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find myself babbling for attention, which nine times out of ten got me into more trouble and affected my relationship with a lot of people and on top of all that, I was too cocky to take responsibility in admitting when I was wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience consequences for not watching the words that I spoke/speak.

When and as I see myself being a babbling fool and not watching the words that I speak that may have a cause and effect on how someone may take what I say and take drastic measures against someone about something that I said and experience consequences for their actions and the person in question off of my words, I stop and breathe, I see/realize/understand that I am using my friendship with them to getting them to think as I do about someone about something which is manipulative and will come back to haunt me, where I will too face consequences for my flagellant mouth to the detriment of our relationship.

I commit myself to being extremely careful for what I say to people mainly my friends about others and if there is nothing good to say about someone else, to not say anything at all, especially if I’ve been in a situation with someone, I will correct myself and forgive the thoughts that comes up, if the situation is still fresh in my mind, when I am with a friend and to clear myself before entering a conversation with my friend.

I commit myself to when and as I have someone’s undivided attention to stick to the facts and not to insert my point of view as this will complicate things, but instead speak only on that which I am living in my life and/or have been/walked through in my life.

I commit myself to reciting nothing, but to express who I am as per redefinition of the words I speak.

I commit myself to no longer reacting in any way to finding out someone “has said” something about me or a friend telling me something about someone else as if I let this affect me, I create consequences in my world and reality for me to have to face and walk through, but instead consider the starting point for being told things and not indulge in gossip in any way shape or form.

I commit myself to seeing/realizing/understanding that if I feel inclined to follow and believe what a friend is saying/telling me, then to investigate my starting point of my friendship with that person

I commit myself to no longer placing myself in a position of self-judgment and having backchat from making a decision off of what someone else think/believe/feel about someone where I sided with them, but instead to be my own person and make my own decision and to not accept and allow myself to get involved in others emotional turmoil.

I commit myself to taking responsibility for frivolously speaking without watching what I say to get attention; that others may not agree with and become offended by, by making informed decision before and when I speak.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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