Day 224: My Process an Action Movie

My-Process-an-action-movieGrowing up I wasn’t able to watch movies, I was more of an outside person, where being outside for me was like watching an action movie in itself, with scenes, play outs and characters. All I had to do was go out and sit on the back porch (or front porch) and watch everyone and everything on my block and that was my action movie in real time. In the neighborhood “action movie, it had all the conflict, relationship drama, family drama, the bully, and the block hero’s you could think of. Every day was always interesting and exciting from the perspective of something different happen almost every time I went outside and just like an action movie we had the shootouts, robbery’s, fights, arguments and so on and so forth, but oddly enough I never really seen allot cops driving through the neighborhood, which now looking back on it was kind of strange, being that there was allot going on in my neighborhood, but anyway that was the environment I grew up, participated, and played in.

Once I left home and started watching television and then eventually going to movies, all that I enjoyed watching was action movies, I mean anything else was kind of boring to me and no matter who I was with, whenever I would go to the movies and there wasn’t enough action in it, I would either fall asleep or want to leave. There was nothing like a good action movie to me, where I would be adamant in copying the demeanor of the main character to be used in building my own character, although I wouldn’t use their words, because I thought that was too corny, but yet and still if it was a “good” action movie; Man, I would get motivate and start working towards something or another in relation to my survival skills, my well-being and/or my financial stability, where I would take action after watching the way things was done in the movie, I mean this is crazy but self-honestly that’s what I did, but after a why’ll my motivation would run out, although I would still use some of the ways things was done in the movie in my everyday living. Back then my Ultimate goal was to be well off and financially stable, which I achieved to a certain extent that is until my life changed and on to my process. I no longer see action movies in the way of copying how things were done in the movie, but in my process I do read others blogs and follow after the way they see and have walked through and transcended points by taking action in their own lives.

In my process, I came up with an idea where in a way I see my process like an action movie, from the perspective of how the lay out and play of the main character transpires/takes place throughout the entire movie, to achieve a specific outcome, where the main character goes through trials and tribulations, ups and downs, falling and standing back up to making mistakes and correcting them, all the way till the end of the movie, where the character becomes the embodiment of who they were trying to become and achieve what they set out to achieve.

In relation to my process, the stage is my world and reality and the main character is who I have become and my goal in walking this life is to take action and to move me, when and as I am faced with trials and tribulations and to realize that there will be ups and downs and whenever I fall to stand back up and for each mistake I make and/or have made to correct myself through the process of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to become the embodiment of who I really am as life and live that which is best for all life always, in this self-created movie that I have designed for myself in this life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have when watching action movies I would be adamant in copying the demeanor of the main character to use in building my own character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used the way things were done in an action movie to motivate me into start working towards something or another in relation to my survival skills, my well-being and/or my financial stability.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to on my own (in the past) work towards something or another to better myself, but instead seek out motivation within an action movie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have set an Ultimate goal (in the
past) of being well off and financially stable, thinking/perceiving/believing that if I achieve this, I would have made it “somewhere” in my life, not realizing it to be a part of my brainwashed preprogramming that I designed myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have designed and preprogrammed within me, that being financially stable and well off was the only thing that matters in life, leaving no room for expansion/growth/development with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself in a way of just chasing after money and/or the good energetic feeling of being well off, instead of getting to know myself as who I really am as life.

I commit myself to not only seeing but living my process as an action movie, from the perspective of where the stage is my world and reality and the main character is who I have become and my goal in walking this life is to take action and to move me, when and as I am faced with trials and tribulations and to realize that there will be ups and downs and whenever I fall to stand back up and for each mistake I make and/or have made to correct myself through the process of writing. Self-forgiveness and self-corrective application: to become the embodiment of who I really am as life and live that which is best for all life always, in this self-created movie that I have designed for myself in this life, until it’s done.

I commit myself to letting my motivation be that of becoming life and living that which is best for all life.

I commit myself to getting to know myself as who I really am and no longer let money be the factor to chase after in thinking this is the only thing that makes up my well-being.

I commit myself to building a foundation of stability within and as and around me, so that I am able to stand equal to and one with who self is – knowing/living who I am through and through.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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