Day 219: Roaming Eyes

Roaming-eyesHave you ever heard the saying; “what you see is what you get?” Well that was a lie, from the perspective of if you got everything that you saw, then you would understand yourself and that’s where my roaming eyes comes into play.

Growing up I watched everything as in what people did, said, the way they looked, how they talked, the way people looked at other people and what they said about them afterwards, whether it was, man she look good or see got a nice ass or she’s this or that and what they would do if they were with that person. I mean I soaked it all up and over the years copy catted what I saw other people doing. The reason being was because I wasn’t privy to the “street life” way of doing things, per se, so whatever I saw someone on the streets doing, I made it a part of me, to an extent though, and when I finally was out on my own, I tried every bit of what I saw growing up and continued to see and do after what I saw others do.

I mean the basics of relationships as to how some people start dating and/or have crushes on each other in elementary and junior high school, at a young age, I couldn’t and didn’t do that until I was 18 and away from home. I didn’t know what to do or how to even approach a girl/lady/woman and my imagination was flowing. What I could do was to spot a nice looking girl (hypothetically speaking) from a mile away by the shape of her body, and I wasn’t really picky.

This continued to the point where every girl that passed by I would check her out. I mean honestly speaking this is what most guys (and girls) do or have done, and for the most part is pretty harmless, that is until, ones imagination comes into play and screws everything up, which nine times out of ten, happens the moment our roaming eyes connect to what they’re looking for.

Things have changed allot since me back then, from the perspective of not letting my imagination go haywire like it used to when I happen to look at someone, and although this is so, when I do catch my eyes roaming at times, I notice an interesting thing taking place, where, let’s say I see someone walking towards me from down the street a ways, what I found myself doing was immediately looking away as if I wasn’t going to look at them and once they walked by or got within eye roaming range, I would look, and then say to myself “come on man, why did you just do that?”, I mean it was like, I was trying to trick myself in telling myself; “Oh I didn’t see them the first time”, so I could see them closer. I experienced this quite a few times, until I found another method to deal with my roaming eyes, that I am still working on today, (because it’s not the point of me imagining anymore, it’s the point of self-manipulation that is see myself doing to myself), that is, not placing too much emphasis on my roaming eyes, but instead, when my roaming eyes connect to something, I continue looking at it, and what this does is sort of defuses the situation that I have going on inside me, which allows me to go from storing the image I see, to seeing something as a passing view, therefore if your roaming eyes get the best of you, stop yourself, take a breath in the moment, and realize that the passing view is you.


About carltontedford

In Process.
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