Day 218: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid (or NOT)

be-afraid(Things that we are or have been afraid of) Why are we so afraid when the lights go out or the silence being eerie when we’re alone in our house? We wake up in a cold sweat, talking about I just had a bad dream, not realizing the bad part is what you’ve created and seen, have done, have manifested in your life to face, but we say “Oh no this is too much”, and turn the other way, and see the same thing in real life what we’ve just saw in our dream and become scarred for life until we realize what it means, to take responsibility for being very afraid of what we see, hear and do, it’s the same as looking in the mirror and saying; “I’m scared of you.”

Most of our fears are based on what we have seen happen, in movies, on Television or what we read about in magazines. That’s the crazy thing about media; it leaves the rest to one’s imagination, so what we do with it is; We bring it to life, by letting it play over and over in our minds, which is manifesting it to come true and when it does, we then blame this world for being a fucked up place; not once considering the part we just played, in making it a reality. This may seem farfetched to some, but it plays a significant row in how we become very afraid in our world and reality. I mean when you really look at it, the real reason that we don’t want others to see or have our information, is not because we’re afraid that they‘re going to mess up our credit or use our information in a discrediting way, but instead it’s because we really think/believe that someone will find us come to our house and kill us, for real, that’s also one of the reasons why we hide behind fake names with different occupations when meeting others. I mean the fear is extensive.

Another sign of being very afraid is when we argue, yell or scream at someone at the top of our lungs to try and pump fear into the, but all the while we’re really showing just how afraid we are of them and/or the situation at hand. Then you have what I call the silent fear, where one is afraid to talk or communicate in with a group of people, out of the fear of being laughed at, talked about or judged. Now within this, what is not realized is that being afraid that others will judge you, is actually you judging yourself and therefore it’s really nothing to be afraid about.

I come to realize that anything that comes from the mind has an attachment in some way of fear to it. Example let’s say you are thinking positive and you ask; “where’s the fear in that?” Well, the reason why you are thinking positive is because you are afraid that if you don’t, the negative will come into your life and what is not realized is that positive thinkers attracts the negative towards themselves to happen to themselves, which is and extensive polarity play out and can be explained more in depth <a href="https://eqafe.com/p/the-design-of-polarity HERE.

My life has been based in fear also, even though I prided myself on being fearless, it really was the opposite of that, but be that as it may, most of my fear was centered around things I didn’t know about and/or couldn’t comprehend at the time, like fear of the unknown, which I projected onto myself in my own mind in thinking what if this or that happened to me or to this world as a whole and the people in it, which really wasn‘t cool because that‘s what spawned me into thinking about a negative outcome to every situation I have been in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid, to be very afraid and try and hide it from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been afraid when the lights went out and not want to admit it to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been afraid of what I’ve seen, heard and have done, within my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made things a reality that I’ve seen in movies and on television by letting it play over and over in my mind which is manifesting it to come true.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have hidden behind fake name and occupations because I was afraid that something would happen to me, which was all made up in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have argued, yelled and screamed at someone at the top of my lungs to try and pump fear into them, but all the while not realizing I was showing just how afraid I was of them and/or the situation at hand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have experienced what I call the silent fear, where I was afraid to talk or communicate in with a group of people, out of the fear of being laughed at, talked about or judged, not realizing that being afraid that others will judge me is me actually judging myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my life to be based in fear, even though I prided myself on being fearless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pride myself on being fearless and not follow through with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my fear throughout my life to be centered around things I didn’t know about and/or couldn’t comprehend at the time, like fear of the unknown, which I projected onto myself in my own mind in thinking what if this or that happen to me or this world as a whole and the people in it.. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then start thinking about a negative outcome to every situation I have been in.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that being very afraid in essence is my mind projection back to me what I have accepted and allowed myself to create in my world and reality that I don’t want to face as myself, my creation, because if I am afraid then I am not aware of who I am and thus will remain a slave to the mind.

When and as I see myself being very afraid, which started when I was young and the lights would go out, then into being afraid of what I’ve seen heard or have done, and would make a reality the things I saw in movies and on television, by letting it play over and over in my mind which is manifesting it to come true and then become so afraid that I would hide behind fake names and occupations and excuse as me not wanting anyone to have my information because they will discredit me in some way, when the fact of the matter was that, I was afraid to the point of thinking that someone would find me and come to my house and kill me, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that I have created this fear of being afraid within myself that started from a young age and has been embedded within and as me and perpetuated and expounded upon throughout my life and all this because of what I didn’t comprehend as myself, meaning I couldn’t see myself for who I really am, so instead I continued to compound, being afraid of myself and within that made incorrect decision that have caused consequences for myself and possibly others in my world and reality. So being afraid in essence is my mind projecting back to me what I have accepted and allowed myself to create in my world and reality that I didn’t want to face as myself, my creation, because if I am afraid, then I am not aware of who I am and thus will remain a slave to the mind.

I commit myself to no longer being afraid of myself in essence what I have created as myself as me in my world and reality which was really just a big illusion conjured up in my mind for me to remain a slave to my mind so that I would never realize myself as who I really am.

I commit myself to no longer getting caught up paying attention to the external world and reality out there through the media and lose focus on what’s right here within myself, but instead to face my own problem head on and correct my living.

I commit myself to no longer arguing, screaming and yelling at someone at the top of my lungs in trying to pump fear into them to get them to do what I say, but instead to realize that those who are afraid themselves are those who argue, yell and scream to try and get their point across, which never works so I commit myself to when and as I am faced with a situation where arguing, yelling and screaming could be likely, I stop and breathe and direct the situation to the best possible outcome for myself and those involved.

I commit myself to no longer being afraid to talk or communicate in with a group of people, as this being afraid is not warranted, being that it’s self-induced, brought on by self-judgment of myself, but trying to project it onto others to not have to share myself. Within this, I commit myself to sharing myself as who I am with others in a group setting without being afraid.

I commit myself to getting to know myself inside out, in standing equal to and one with who self is -knowing/living who I am through and through: that I no longer be afraid but instead unshackle myself from being a slave.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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