Day 216: Mind Slave

Mind-SlaveI think therefore I am a slave. I become angry and sometimes enraged. When people look then laugh at me, I become embarrassed and afraid. Afraid of what they may think of me and call me names. I’m a trouble maker at times and don’t realize I’m doing so. I think its cold outside, every time the wind blow. At times I’ve compared myself to others standing right next to me. Why do I let my thoughts/feelings/emotions get the best of me? I become tired real easily and fall asleep all day, not realizing that it’s too much thinking from being a mind slave. I get up at the crack of dawn just to make ends meet and work all day standing on my feet. In the meantime, I stay glued to my phone because it demands my attention, disconnected from reality out there in another dimension, but still physically here, yet not here, stable and present, and directing every moment of one’s life lessons. I entertain myself with race cars, jets and speed, to see just how fast I can get away from facing me and although it never works, I continue to try and try again; away from seeing thousands hungry and dying each day, by my permission. I’m a mind slave because when I see this, it doesn’t really faze me; I just look to blame the other guy, instead of taking responsibility. It’s easier that way; I’m not going to clean up this mess, let’s leave it for the new slaves (our children) to do the task. This is just how greedy in one lifetime we humans can be, trapped as mind slaves but destine to be free.

Throughout my life I believe the mind to be who I was and once I found out this is not who I am, I separated myself from my mind even more by blaming my mind for putting me through what I put myself through, I didn’t realize that taking directive principle is in fact to stand equal to the mind and take responsibility for what the mind is showing me about myself in order to stop it and within that anytime I would get to a point of not understanding myself, my mind or the problems I faced, I thought it to be easier to just walk away and start anew and that’s what I did, and now I am faced with walking through the leftover consequences from my past.

It’s not that simple anymore to just walk away from our lives and start a new one, I have experienced this quite a few times in my life, where if things wasn’t going right in a relationship, I had the liberty to walk away and end up in a new one, or if I didn’t like one job, I would quit and find a new one, back then these was seemingly simple things to do, but in this day and age, it’s not quite that simple anymore. I mean one can say; “I’m still young and can still take chances, because I got my whole life ahead of me”, which is somewhat true, yes you do have your whole life ahead of you, but with that comes the responsibility of cleaning up the shit you left behind and that has been left by those gone before us, which in essence was us, is us, however you don’t want to hear it, we have to clean up this mess and yes it is possible, starting with myself HERE.

About carltontedford

In Process.
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