Day 215: Perfect Pictured Presentation

The-perfect-pictured-presentationDo we really understand why we dress up to go out? I know if you ask someone this question they’ll probably say; “I want to look good” or “This is how it is in our society” (which is true for the most part), but ask yourself what is my starting point for dressing up before I go to specific places and/or do specific things with specific people, if your answer is, I want to look presentable then that may well be, but then comes, look presentable to/for who, yourself or someone else? What I’m getting to here is that we have gotten to the point of non-acceptance of ourselves as individuals, I mean look at 2000 years ago for the most part we all wore dresses, girls and guys, which I’m sure was probably called something else and did we think about a perfect pictured presentation back then? Who knows, but in any case I’m sure, it wasn’t no were near as close to how we define the perfect pictured presentation of today, only able to be done with money to ‘express’ your sexuality and self-worth to obtain a relationships. No matter who you are (unless you’re self-aware), what goes through our minds when we’re getting ready to go someplace, is how others will see us. It’s engrained in us to the point where, if someone doesn’t look the part, then we don’t bother in any case or situation to acknowledge them, and if they tried/even attempt to get our attention, we’ll give them the “cold shoulder” or a frown and if we happen to talk to them, we’ll make it short and sweet as not to be seen talking to someone that doesn’t have that perfect pictured presentation, because we believe it will mess up our chances with that someone we see with the perfect pictured presentation.

I read THIS article the other day entitled Jack – “The Power of Money” and not to go that much into it, within the Relationship section it was talking about – “to apparently express your sexuality and self-worth you require money to be able compose and design the perfect pictured presentation of yourself which reveal your sexual expression and self-worth, based on money”. It then went into a few examples and how to the extreme this can go. I suggest having a read. But I am focusing on how we go about composing and designing this perfect pictured presentation of ourselves from my perspective and how I have perpetuated this onto myself and where it got me.

I found a niche in how I could style myself, groom myself, talk, walk and act as if my self-worth was “through the roof”, meaning more than it was. I mean what it all boiled down to was, how I was able to talk my way in an out of being with someone sexually and maintain this character every time I went out somewhere. I felt as if my perfect pictured presentation was unique and only attracted a specific type of women, which in most cases it did, but the hard part was remembering who/what/when/where and why, where I would forget at times who I was and what I said to certain people, which in most cases would end up backfiring on me and after years of doing this it becomes old and fogy. I mean it got me nowhere but a few feel good moments, which in hindsight added up to a few consequential situations in putting myself in compromising position, so in trying to be the perfect pictured presentation, I have missed out on a few important moments in my life, what it means to really get to know someone and have sabotaged all my relationships in the process. So for this;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have as an excuse for dressing up and going out, “I want to look good” or “This is how it is in our society” (which is true for the most part), but with the “wrong” starting point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have wanted to look presentable for others, instead of presenting myself for me as me with whatever I wear and however I looked at any given moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have gotten to the point of non-acceptance of myself as an individual and thus designed the perfect pictured presentation of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the perfect pictured presentation of myself as the perfect physique, my sexuality and self-worth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to whenever I’m getting ready to go someplace, what goes through my mind is how others will see me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engrain this mentality in me to the point where, if someone didn’t look the part, then I wouldn’t bother in any case or situation to acknowledge them, and if they tried/even attempted to get my attention, I would give them the “cold shoulder” or a frown and if I happened to talk to them, I’d make it short and sweet, as not to be seen talking to someone that doesn’t have the perfect pictured presentation in my eyes, because I believed it would mess up my chances with that someone I just saw with the perfect pictured presentation. (How insane is that)?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have found a niche in how I could style myself, groom myself, talk, walk l and act as if my self-worth was “through the roof”, meaning more than it was.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have acted as if I was more than I was.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been one to be able to talk myself in and out of being with someone sexually and maintain this character every time I went out somewhere.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel as if my perfect pictured presentation was unique and only attracted a specific type of women, which in most cases it did, but the hard part was remembering who/what/when/where and why, where I would forget at times who I was and what I said to certain people, which in most cases ended up backfiring on me and after years of doing this it became old and fogy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become old and fogy with the same perpetuation of time looping this same old game.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that this would get me nowhere but a few feel good moments, which in hindsight added up to a few consequential situation in putting myself in compromising positions, so in trying to be the perfect pictured presentation, I have missed out on a few important moments in my life, what it means to really get to know someone and have sabotaged all my relationships in the process.

When and as I see myself getting to the point of non-acceptance of myself as an individual and thus wanting to once again design the perfect pictured presentation of me, consisting of the perfect physique, my sexuality and self-worth, where I think about how others will see me and try living it to the point where, if someone else doesn’t look the part, I won’t bother in any case or situation to acknowledge them, and if they tried/even attempted to get my attention, I’ll give them the “cold shoulder” or a frown and if I happen to talk to them, I’d make it short and sweet, as not to be seen talking to someone that doesn’t have the prefect pictured presentation in my eyes, because I believe it would mess up my chances with that someone I just saw with the perfect pictured presentation, I stop and breathe and ask myself; “W.T.F. are you doing?” I see/realize/understand that I am acting as if I am more than I am, which in turn gets me nowhere but a few feel good moments (if that), which again will add up to a few more consequential situations in putting myself in a few more compromising positions, so in trying to be the perfect pictured presentation, I will again miss out on more important moments in my life, what it means to really get to know someone and lead myself into sabotaging more of my relationships and/or potential relationships in the process.

I commit myself to presenting myself for me as me with whatever I wear and however I look at any given moment in comfort ability, and no longer attempt to design, compose the perfect picture presentation as in expressing my sexuality and self-worth in relation to money, but instead to accept me for who/what I have become and change me into who I really am as life and live the presentation of my self-expression as who I am as life.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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