Day 211: “I Remember When”

I-REMEMBER-WHENOften times when we are around those we grew up with or those that we share past experiences with or even those whom we feel comfortable around and have conversations with, we reminisce and use in the sentence prefix; “I remember when” sort of like a key to unlocking the past and going down the never ending road of “what if’s”. Why’ll travelling down this road we lose track of what we’re doing, where we’re at and what’s going on right in front of us, so when we snap back to reality , we’ve miss out on a few substantial moments in our life, which doesn’t seem like much but if we we’re to add up these few substantial moments, times (x), every time we have reminisced throughout our lives we would find that we’ve missed some of the most important moments of our lives, within the times we’re not present, so let’s see why this is and what takes place leading up to “I remember when”.

Ok, I was in a conversation with someone where we we’re discussing the mind and how it operates. The conversation started with explaining our experiences of how when one is reading, focusing on something and/or in the process of having a silent moment, the mind will interject and present a thought to throw us off track from what we were busy focusing on in order to get us to react to the thought. And as we were speaking they had a profound realization and said, I finally see what you’ve been saying about the mind and how it gets us to react, starting with that one thought and how tricky the mind can be in presenting us with a happy thought moment to follow around and right in the middle of following that happy thought moment around, it flip flops and drops you right off the side of a cliff, so to speak, by presenting the flip side to that happy thought moment as the negative side of the same point and then we react to it. Now as I was listening to them, an interesting thing happen that I didn’t pick up on until further into the conversation, and that was the transition/turn that the conversation took from that of talking about and realizing how the mind works to that of reminiscing and “I remember when”, where they started going down memory lane talking about their family and how they was raised and who left, what, when, where and why, in relation to their childhood and how throughout their life they’ve had quite a few experiences: And in the middle of them talking, I had a profound realization but waited to say anything, so they continued talking about their experiences and started to become emotional and at that moment I stopped and began to share my realization, which was interesting and confirmed the point that was made a bit earlier before the transition/turn that the conversation took, because at that point I could see another way in which the mind protects itself and gets one to react.

The way I see it is, leading up to “I remember when”, was a decisive moment of change, where one could see a clear path to understanding the basics of how the mind operates, and right at that point was when the transition/turn of the conversation took place, seamlessly, without notice. I mean it’s like, I saw how the mind took a roundabout way to protect itself, which took about 30 min., the length of the conversation (going from being about the mind to reminiscing) to make someone react and afterwards when I went to explain my profound realization, it seemed as if they had forgotten everything that was discussed including their realization, it was like starting from scratch all over again. This was kind of sad and blew me away and within that, I saw how I have been doing this throughout my life, going down memory lane and missing out on the most important moments of my life: And so for this;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reminisce and use in the sentence prefix; “I remember when”, not realizing that sentence is the key to unlocking the past and going down the never ending road of “what if’s’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to why’ll travelling down that road, lose track of what I’m doing, where I’m at and what’s going on right in front of me, so when I snap back to reality, I’ve missed out on a few substantial moments in my life, which doesn’t seem like much, but if I was to add up these few substantial moments, times (X), every time I have reminisced throughout my life I would find that I’ve missed some of the most important moments of my life, within the times I wasn’t present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss out on a few substantial moments in my life whenever I’ve gone down memory lane throughout my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to why’ll reading, focusing one something and/or in the process of having a silent moment, accept and allow my mind to interject and present a thought to throw me off track from what I am focusing on, in order to get me to react to the thought.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to present me with a happy thought moment and followed it around and right in the middle of following that happy thought moment around, it flip flopped and dropped me right off the side of a cliff, so to speak, by presenting the flip side to that happy thought moment as the negative side of the same point and then I reacted to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow thoughts around in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to thoughts that I followed around in my mind, that my mind presented to me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to pick up on in the moment the transition/turn that the conversation took from that of talking about and realizing how the mind works to that of reminiscing and “I remember when”, where (with me) I would start going down memory lane talking about my family, the past and what I’ve been through in my life and then would become emotion, not realizing this was a protection mechanism that the mind use to shield itself from being realized, which in the end I would forget all about my realizations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have gone down memory lane throughout my life, missing out on the most important moments of my life which are those of realization and self-awareness.

When and as I see myself reminiscing and using the sentence prefix; ‘I remember when” not realizing that sentence is the key to unlocking the past and going down the never ending road of “what if’s”, where, why’ll travelling down that road, I lose track of what I’m doing, where I’m at and what’s going on right in front of me, so when I snap back to reality, I’ve missed out on a few substantial moments in my life which doesn’t seem like much, but add those few moments, times (X) every time I’ve reminisced throughout my life, then find that I’ve missed some of the most important moments of my life, I stop and breathe and realize that I’m not present in those moments. I see/realize/understand that in the moment I accept and allow myself to reminisce is the moment that I am missing out on an important moment of realization and/or potential change in my life.

I commit myself to stopping myself from going down memory lane and using the sentence prefix; “I remember when”, by, when and as a memory comes up from my past stop myself, breathe and forgive myself for this memory and let it go unconditionally.

I commit myself to letting go all memories from my past unconditionally and remaining present in every here moment with breath.

When and as I see myself reading, focusing on something and/or in the process of having a silent moment and accept and allow my mind to interject and present a thought to throw me off track from what I am focusing on in order to get me to react to the thought, where the mind would present me with a happy though moment and I follow it around and then the mind presents the flip side of the happy thought moment as the negative side of the same point, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that the mind is conniving and has a roundabout way of protecting itself and getting one to react, so it behooves me to remain present in every here moment with breath, because without breath this imbedded pattern I have of following the mind will cause me to react every time.

I commit myself to stopping my mind from interjecting when I am reading, focusing on something and/or having a silent moment, by breathing and remaining here.

When and as I am in a conversation with someone and we are discussing the minds functioning where realizations are imminent and I see a transition/turn that the conversation takes from that of talking about and realizing how the mind works to that of reminiscing and “I remember when”, where I start going down memory lane and become emotional, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that this is the protection mechanism that the mind use to shield itself from being realized, which in the end will make me forget all about my realizations.

I commit myself to stopping myself the moment I see the conversation transitioning/turning away from the subject at hand to that of reminiscing, and forgiving myself in that moment for accepting and allowing myself to let mind put up a defense mechanism.

I commit myself to becoming aware of and realizing all the tricks in which the mind use to protect itself and make me react to the thoughts it presents, by being aware in every here moment, to once and for all stop my mind from direct me and take back directive principle of myself, my live and my world and reality.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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