Day 203: No Turning Back

NO-TURNING-BACKAnything I’ve ever gotten myself into, I’ve always look for, searched for and/or found an escape route out of it, just in case something went wrong or I couldn’t deal with it any longer, due to me perceiving it to be too hard, too complicated for me to follow through with and/or anything that would interrupt my lifestyle and the way I lived. My escape would be accompanied by a self-validated excuse as to why I no longer wanted to participate in whatever it was that I got myself into. On the other hand when it came to things that suited my self-interest, I would go down with the sinking ship per se. For example, a while back I had got a job at this new hip hop radio station that came to town when I used to live in Las Vegas, which for a time was the #1 station in Las Vegas. This played out for about a year or so and although it seemed as if the station was doing fine, there were rumors that we were going to either close or change formats, but nothing concrete or solid enough as evidence for me to go on and prepare myself for what was yet to come. I didn’t want to hear it or believe anything of the sort ,as I was having “fun”, where people knew who I was, I had a house hold name and pretty much was the center of attention everywhere I went, in the town, I mean who would want to give that up? Turns out I was forced to give it up, because they eventually changed the stations formats, so I went down with the sinking ship for real.

To get to the point I’m making, I’ve came across some pretty eye opening stuff throughout my life that made me wonder if I even wanted to know more and because of my curiosity, I wanted to know more, so the further down the rabbit hole I went, not knowing what I was getting myself into, (in laymen terms) sort of blindly following my intuition to the point of no return.

The easiest thing in the world to do is to know about something and say that you are going to do something about that something that you know about, in changing your approach, outlook and/or way of being, in consideration for that which you now know and yourself and the hardest thing to do is being self-honest enough and have the fortitude to live and apply these changes in your life, because for me there was still lingering thoughts of looking for, searching for an escape route and/or the easiest way to get through it, in which I found there is none, so inevitably I had to realize that I’m stuck, meaning there’s no turning back and no way to turn back without accepting and allowing consequences.

This something in which I speak about is obviously Desteni, my process and Journey to life, and self-honestly speaking at times I still see myself accepting and allowing these lingering thoughts of hoping and wishing there was a different easier way out (of my mind), as far as changing myself, I mean because there is no giving up but there is a such thing as getting rid of these thoughts that comes up within and as , me every so often and that’s what this post is all about, so for this;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have in the past, anything I’ve gotten myself into, I’ve always looked for, searched for and/or found an escape route out of it, just in case something went wrong or I couldn’t deal with it any longer, due to me perceiving it to be too hard, too complicated for me to follow through with and/or anything that would interrupt my lifestyle and the way I lived.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my lifestyle and the way I live to take pretense over me living life to my utmost potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my escapes to be accompanied by a self-validated excuse as to why I no longer wanted to participate in whatever it was that I got myself into.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that an excuse could/would actually stop me from having to participate in something that I would inevitably have to, when in fact it only would prolonger the inevitable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to on the other hand when it came to the things that suited my self-interest, I would go down with the sinking ship per se, not believing that anything could stop the perceived “fun” I was having, where people knew who I was, I had a house hold name and pretty much was the center of attention where ever I went in the town I was in, because of the job I had at the radio station.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the perceived “fun I was having blind me from seeing/realizing/understanding what was about to go down at the radio station (as far as either being closed or changing formats) and to prepare myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been one to not follow through with the fortitude to live and apply changes in my life, because for me there was still lingering thoughts of looking for, searching for an escape route and/or the easiest way to get through whatever it was/is that I needed/need to change and get through in my life, so inevitably I had to realize that I’m stuck, meaning there’s no turning Back without accepting and allowing the consequences in doing so.

I see/realize/understand that I am knee deep in the inevitableness of my process Journey to life by me own design and understand the Desteni message and must take responsibility: that there is no turning back, meaning the level of ignorance for knowing the truth about what’s really going on here on earth, in my case is no more as I have continued by choice down this rabbit hole and therefore;

I commit myself to becoming steadfast and taking responsibility for the decision I have made/designed for myself to go down this path/ my process Journey to life and to stop these useless lingering thoughts from coming up within and as me, as this only stagnates my process in making it that much harder for me to walk and overcome, that in which I have been/become and done to myself in my world and reality and to this world, reality and existence as a whole.

I commit myself to no longer looking for, searching for an easier was to walk my process, but instead to walk my process with the fortitude to live and apply the changes that need be in my life.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow my lifestyle to be a pretense over me living life, but instead to live my life to my utmost potential.

I commit myself to realizing that there is no excuse that could/would actually stop me from having to participate in something that I would inevitably have to and to no longer accept and allow my mind to come up with such bullshit and believe it to be valid.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow my self-interest to take me down with a sinking ship per se, all because I perceived myself to be having fun.

No Turning Back.

This post was inspired by http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-215-soul-ascension-and-life-after.html

“Each-One that Understand This Message have a Responsibility.
To walk-away from this Responsibility, is strongly Not-Suggested, as you would Grasp the Consequence of Such-Action would Immediately Increase — that’s just the way it is.

Because then, one walk-away from Life deliberately. In a way, before one Make that Decision, there is still a ‘Level of Innocence’, you can still to a Degree say ‘You Didn’t Know’ – it makes it Easier to Face the Dilemma of One’s Self-Deception. But once you-know and walk-away: you have Made Choice -one that is Not Easily-Corrected.” – See more at: http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/11/day-215-soul-ascension-and-life-after.html#sthash.7aFr5g6l.dpuf
Bernard Poolman

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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