Day 195: When You Haven’t Seen Someone A While.

When-you-havent-seen-someone-in-a-whileThe first thing that goes through your mind is what am I going to do and say when I see them and during the time leading up to seeing them, we bring up past memories of the last time we saw them, under what circumstances and what condition they were in, verses how they are now, for starter. Another thing to take into consideration is who I am as a person now, verses who I was as a person back then, not that there is a dramatic change in my appearance or something, but there is a difference in the way I see things now, verses how I perceived things back then. (This is not to say that I’m all high and mighty on some cloud now or shit like that)This is just the first time I am facing this point with specific people in my life.

I remember when I first came across Desteni and was going through the material and what was going through my mind as I was being shocked awake was; “How the hell am I going to tell mom and dad this”? And at that time for every question I had, the next video or so would answer the question and so I continued with this question lingering in the back of my mind for a moment, until I came across one of Alice Bailey’s interviews called friends and family and it answered my question.

Being that I’ve been walking my process for a short period of time, within this I do see how the tools of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application have worked for me and know when applied correctly that it will work for others as well, my thing is the presentation of such tools to others, in which I know would assist and support them in their current processes. I understand it’s not a matter of me bombarding anyone with knowledge and information as I have tried this before, back in the beginning of my process to no avail, (meaning the shit didn’t work), I also know that it’s not on anyone’s outside of the groups favorite topic list either, so I am writing about this to investigate the best possible solution (way to approach others), by placing myself as them knowing them and how would I take it, if shown something I’ve never seen before.

They say “you can’t teach and ole dog new trick”, but you sure can show em’ one. It’s within the showing that sparks the interest without going into a debate and paying attention to what’s need to be said and nothing more without any expectations. Will my point get across? Only they’ll know.

There have been times when someone have told me vital information that didn’t immediately sink in at that time until years later, because I wasn’t as receptive then, and still today I go back over some Desteni interviews I’ve watched a few years back and just now realizing what was being said and take it in stride.

The point is that we all have to and will wake up at some point, either here or in the hereafter, so if given the opportunity to say, mention or even show someone what I know has worked for me in my life, then I will tread lightly and speak only on that which I have and am currently walking through, depending on if and as my assistance is requested and/or needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I haven’t seen someone in a while the first thing that goes through my mind is what I am going to do and say when I see them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to during this time leading up to seeing them accept and allow past memories of the last time I saw them, under what circumstances and what condition they were in, verses how I perceive are now to come up within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to also think about who I am as a person now, verses who I was as a person back then as in a difference in the way I see things now, verses how I perceived things back then. Being that this is the first time I am faced with this point with specific people in my life where uncertainty set in.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to have investigated before now, how to approach and assist and support others with what I know that works for me being the tools of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, but instead have worried about my presentation of my realizations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have worried about my presentation of
my realization to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have not been receptive at times when vital information was being shared with me, but instead, I would be stuck in my mind thinking on the next best thing to do to make me happy and that’s it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been in my past stubborn in showing and/or forcing my beliefs on others first and foremost.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have in my past not followed what I would say to others in not practicing what I preached.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my past only believed in my self-interested knowledge and information without investigation whether or not it was the true in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have in my past shut other out from the perspective of me not wanting to hear anything they had to say what so ever and in doing so I have limited my understanding on certain topics, in the belief that it was irrelevant to my life, until later on in my life when I realized I should have listened.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have had expectation of others believing and following what I said to them and when it didn’t happen, I became bummed out, not realizing what I what I was attempting to do by babbling from a self-interest starting point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have in my past talked about and presented knowledge and information as what I read and/or heard without investigating, living and walking it for myself first.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to when I haven’t seen someone in a while, the first thing that goes through my mind is what am I going to do and say when I see them and during the time leading up to seeing them accept and allow past memories of the last time I saw them, under what circumstances and what condition they were in, verses how they are now to come up within and as me, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that there is still an underlying point of nervousness that is existent within and as me from the perspective of who I am now as a person, verses who I was back then as in a difference in the way I see things now, verses how I perceived things back then, that I’m having a bit of uncertainty of how they would act/react to my views. I also realize this uncertainty stems from way back growing up and how our beliefs were the same for many years and haven’t since really been discussed otherwise.

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have uncertainty within me of how others would act/react about my views being different from their beliefs.

I commit myself to stabilizing myself within the thought of uncertainty as certainly there should be no concern or worry as I am just reading into it too much.

I commit myself to when and as I am in the presence of these specific people in my life to focus on my breathing and clear myself before I speak, that way nothing comes up as assumptions, thoughts, backchat, internal conversations or reactions while I’m with them.

I commit myself to investigating all points and aspects that haven’t come up yet that I would possibly face within my process as they come up, before I jump to conclusions and/or go into worry.

I commit myself to no longer worry about a presentation of my realization but instead to speak in the moment when and after I clear myself.

I commit myself to being aware of what others are saying and receptive to that which is best for me and my process.

I commit myself to no longer being stubborn in showing and/or forcing my realization onto others, but instead to stay in the moment and way of the conversation.

I commit myself to only take about what I am walking and practically living myself unless asked for specific direction for what I haven’t yet walked and in that case I will assist them to the best possible direction.

I commit myself to continue investigating all information that I come across.

I commit myself to having NO expectation in any way what so ever on anything.

I commit myself to walking what I talk and talking what I live and living that which is best for all life in all ways, so that I am able to stand equal to and one with who self is – knowing/living who I am through and through and become life.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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