Day 185: Attachments

AttachmentsThere is an interesting point that I’ve found in relation to the word Attachments, where it’s easy to attach ourselves to something or someone and hard as hell in some cases to detach ourselves from that someone or something. An attachment can be formed in many ways, to any and everything for many different reasons, simplistically speaking, one can form an attachment to the things we use for hygiene such as a toothbrush or the specific towel set we use when washing ourselves, the type of soap we use, toothpaste, lotion, beauty products, our favorite pillow or blanket and the list can go on forever just as an example of what Attachments are. Other example of attachments are when we become attached to the way someone greet us, show us attention, talk to us in a kind way or share something in common with us such as an idea or a physical attraction to one another that we become attached to, I’m speaking on a first sight bases.

Now the thing with these attachments are the expectations that comes along with them, where we become accustom to and expect these attachments to always be there and in place, hence the word attachments; And if we don’t get the response we expect from those people we attachment ourselves to, we react with feeling bummed out and/or down and out and when it comes to our personal attachments being misplaced, taking from us or messed with by others, we react with anger and/or rage, so although attachments are a part of who we designed ourselves to be, being attached to things is in no way shape or form conducive to our process in getting to know who I am as life but only perpetuate the fear of loss, where we believe that if we lose our attachments, we are losing a part of ourselves in a way where we are not able to function “correctly”, but the funny things is, we soon get over it after its gone and realize that we can function, but instead of learning from that experience we go and attach ourselves to the next best thing, whatever it may be and we repeat the cycle again and again to no end.

Throughout my life I have attached myself to a few things starting with my toys growing up, where if I couldn’t find a specific toy I wanted to play with at the time, I would become frustrated for a moment and then get over it and play with something else. In grade school I was attached to my drum stick where if anyone touched them I would become angry as well as my bicycle and a few other things. This attachment to things stayed with me into my adult hood where I grew an attachment to my music equipment and computers and didn’t want anyone to touch them out of the fear of something getting messed up and I would lose what I had stored on them. Being that I was so attached to the things I had, one day I was resetting the operating system for one of my computer with my back up drive connected to it and not being aware of what I was doing, I accidently erased the entire drive and lost everything from all my past music to documents and videos, pictures and movies, I mean everything, everything was gone, and that was my first lesson in attaching myself to things, so from then on I realized that I shouldn’t attach myself to things and that things will come and go in and out of my possession and as they come, to be grateful for them and as they go, to be thankful that I had them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become attached to something or someone and believe it to be hard as hell for me to detach myself from that someone or something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become attached in a way to the way someone greets me, show me attention, talk to me in a kind way or share something in common with me such as an idea or physical attraction to one another that I’ve become attached to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add expectations to the things I have grown attached to where I have become accustom to and expected these attachments to always be there and in place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become bummed out and/or down and out when I don’t get the response I expected from another from being attached to them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when it comes to my personal attachments, being misplaced, taken away from me or messed with I react in anger and/or rage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in having attachments, perpetuate the fear of loss where I believe that if I lose my attachment, I am losing a part of myself in a way where I am not able to function correctly, but the funny thing was, I soon get over it after it’s gone and realize that I could still function.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of learning from that experience I go and attach myself to the next best thing, whatever it may be and I repeat the cycle again and again to no end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throughout my life have been attached to a few things starting with my toys growing up, where if I couldn’t find a specific toy I wanted to play with at the time, I would become frustrated for a moment and then get over it and play with something else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in grade school I was attached to my drumsticks, where if anyone touched them I would become angry as well as my bicycle and a few other things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this attachment to things to stay with me into my adult hood where I grew an attachment to my music equipment and computers and didn’t want anyone to touch them out of the fear of something getting messed up and I would lose what I had stored on them, not realizing that I was perpetuating the fear of loss that would eventually manifest me losing everything on my backup drive by accident by my own hands and unawareness.

When and as I see myself becoming attached to something or someone and believing it to be hard as hell to detach myself from that someone or something, where I add expectations to the things I have grown attached to, in expecting those things to always be there and in place and if for example my personal attachments become misplaced, taken away from me or messed with, I react in anger and/or rage, I stop and breathe. I realize that I have been attaching myself to things throughout my life starting with my toys growing up and have carry this attachment to things into my adult hood which all is in relation to the fear of loss where I believe that losing my attachments is like losing a part of myself in a way where I am not able to function correctly, which is an misnomer because when it’s gone I soon get over it and realize that I am able to function and that I shouldn’t attach myself to things but instead realize that things will come and go in and out of my possession and as they come, to be grateful for them and as they go to be thankful that I had them.

I commit myself to no longer attaching myself to anything material, thought or idea of something as this is defining me by this attachment, but instead attach myself to standing equal to and one with who self is-knowing and living who I am through and through: that attachments no longer be a possession that I fear losing but that of connecting myself with my physical body.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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