Day 177: Arguments

aRGUMENTA quarrel, a disagreement, a squabble, a fight, a dispute, a wrangle, a clash, an altercation, a feud, contretemps, a disputation, a fall-out and many more are all subject titles of an Argument. ar•gu•ment = Question; Are you mental? Answer; Yes, from the perspective of trying to phi-LIE-o-SO-ph-I, form a series of statements to persuade someone of something or to present reasons for accepting my conclusion. This is simply done in conjunction with abdicating my responsibility, because the complexity of owning up to as equal or at fault as/with another person in any situation is too much for me to handle/bare/admit, so the easiest thing for me to do is to ‘provide reasons supporting my conclusion’s probable truth in hope that the other person accept my “fuck ups” as their doing. And when and as it’s all said and done and I’m alone, (no matter how you put it) I feel like shit, because I knew exactly what I was doing, but I will never tell another or make amends because then people will see me for who I am.

This is all rhetoric but true in every sense of the word Argument, being that at one time or another we all have been in, have taken sides in and/or have witnessed an Argument more than once in our life time. I also find it interesting how we argue (when justifying to self) with self, by presenting to self, more than one excuse of justification. This is where self-honesty comes into play, an example; When reading this paragraph as a third party, I have already placed myself as, “having witnessed an Argument” before admitting to self being the arguer, although self is the flesh. We do this under the bases of validity where the validity of this argument with self depends, however, not on the actual truth or falsity of its premises and conclusion, but solely on whether or not the argument has a valid logical form, meaning that yes of course I have been the arguer, but have also witnessed and argument in validating to my-self the lessor of two “evils” per se, as in trying to convince self through de-mitting/denying/hiding that I ever participated in and Argument. It’s impossible but unconsciously done.

Today I witnessed parts of an Argument (relationship based) which spawned this discussion where looking back on the majority of my arguments with another was based on embarrassment and/or being lied on, where I would only reciprocate in arguing with another person if and as I felt embarrassed and/or lied on, then out of embarrassment anger would come up, because how dare they put me on public display as such, not realizing that the Argument in itself was showing me the nature in which I had accepted and allowed my Status as a character to supersede who I really am as life and thus a way of asking me; “Where Are You”. Now in relationships it was a bit different, where because I never really communicated (didn’t know how too effectively) with a partner, when things came up, I would refuse to listen to and talk about the situation, thus causing an Argument to take place. I wasn’t aware that a reason or set of reasons given with the aim of persuading others that an action or idea is “right or wrong” is one of the reasons why this reality is the way it is today, in conflict, do to Arguments. Therefore to release myself from this argumentative nature, self-forgiveness is needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get into Arguments, quarrels, disagreements, squabbles, fights, disputes, wrangles, clashes, altercations, feuds, contretemps, fall-outs and many more of these subject titles of an Argument, from the perspective of trying to phi-LIE-o-SO-ph-I, form a series of statements to persuade someone of something or to present reasons for accepting my conclusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility for being in an argument and excuse it to myself as; because the complexity of owning up to as equal or at fault as/with another person in any situation is too much for me to handle/bare/admit, so the easiest thing for me to do is to ‘provide reasons supporting my conclusion’s probable truth’ in hope that the other person accept my “fuck ups” as their doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have often times try and pin my “fuck ups” on another person as the root to causing and/or participating within an argument with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself when and as it’s all said and done and I’m alone, (no matter how you put it) I feel like shit, because I knew exactly what I was doing, but will never tell another or make amends because then, people will see me for who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself have argued (when justifying to self) with self, by presenting to self, more than one excuse of justification. As an example (and) I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when reading this paragraph as a third party, I have already placed myself as, “having witnessed an Argument” before admitting to self being the arguer, although self is the flesh.

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do this under the bases of validity, where the validity of this argument with self depends, however, not on the actual truth or falsity of its premises and conclusion, but solely on whether or not the argument has a valid logical form, meaning that yes of course I have been the arguer, but have also witnessed and argument in validating to my-self the lessor of two “evils” per se, as in trying to convince self through de-mitting/denying/hiding that I ever participated in and Argument.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have tried to de-mitt/deny/hide the fact that I have participated in and Argument with another person, to self. Really!!!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to looking back on the majority of my arguments with another was based on embarrassment and/or being lied on, where I would only reciprocate in arguing with another person if and as I felt embarrassed and/or lied on, then out of embarrassment anger would come up. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger out of embarrassment toward the other person that openly argued with me, because how dare they put me on public display as such.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that the argument in itself was showing me the nature in which I had accepted and allowed my Status as a character to supersede who I really am as life and thus a way of asking me; “Where Are You?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within a past relationship with a partner never really communicate (didn’t know how too effectively) when things came up, I would refuse to listen to and talk about the situation, thus causing an argument to take place.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be aware that a reason or set of reasons given with the aim of persuading others that an action or idea is “right or wrong” is one of the reasons why this reality is the way it is today, in conflict, do to Arguments.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to get into Arguments and any of the other aforementioned subject titles of and Argument from the perspective of trying to phi-LIE-o-SO-ph-I, form a series of statement to persuade someone of something or to present reasons for accepting my conclusion, as an abdication of my responsibility for being in the argument, by providing a reason supporting my conclusion’s probable truth in hope that the other person accept my “fuck ups” as their doing, I stop and breathe. I realize in looking back that all my arguments have been based on embarrassment and/or being lied on, where I only reciprocate in arguing with another person if and as I felt embarrassed and/or lied on, then out of embarrassment anger would come up which is not conducive to solving any situation.

I also see/realize/understand that the argument in itself is showing me the nature in which I have accepted and allowed my Status as a character to supersede who I really am as life and thus a way of asking me; “Where Are You?

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to enter into these arguments and subject titles of argument but instead to when and if the situation present itself to stop myself, take a breath and stabilize myself and then direct the situation accordingly.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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