Day 170: Seeing Myself in Others

Seeing-myself-in-others“I’m mad as hell”. (That was me) “You did this to me”. (That was me) “I need a drink”. (That was me) “That wasn’t me, I didn’t do that”. (That was me) “Let’s mess with them”. (That was me) “If somebody messes with me, I’ll do this and that to them”. (That was me) “Why are you starting shit”? (That as me) “Look at them over there, doing what they’re doing”. (That was me) “They/You make me sick”. (That was me) “Nobody loves me”. (That was me) “Argue Argue, Yell Yell”. (That was me) “That’s mine don’t touch it”. (That was me) “No, you can’t have any”, are all expressions that I have used at least once in my life when seeing myself in others, and then abdicate my responsibility as in denying that I ever was like that, because I admit it’s was a hard reflection to look at and accept as me.

Whenever we see people who for some reason or another are not in alignment with the “normal standards” of social acceptance, we have a tendency to turn face and go the other way, as if what they’re going through is contagious and will rub off on us in some way or another. This is one of the biggest misnomers as in not considering that person to be our self, and our “Actions” shows it, where we intentionally put on the “Act of Shunning” one another at the first sign of indifference. Now if the shoe was on the other foot, would this be the only way that you’ll be able to see yourself in others? And what would you do if you were “dealt a shitty hand” in life? It’s like walking into a rigged card game that everyone is in on it except you and there are times (for some of us) that things become so unbearable that you just have to fold your hand in. However you look at it, that’s us.

Growing up, I was taught that people were crazy and I had to “look out for them” as in steering away from them, which was ironic because of the way it was said to me literally as I remember “Look out for them” Huh. What’s fascinating is how I didn’t really see people as just crazy, but that something had to transpire for them to become the way they were, we called this having a few screws loose. As I grew older I became one of those crazy people in the sense of becoming ornery whenever I didn’t get my way with things. I didn’t see it though, that is until it would be pointed out to me and I would deny it and soon forget then go back to being the same way. The only real teacher that would show me the errors of my ways, was seeing myself in others which only pissed me off, because I had no idea how to face myself until I learned from Desteni that others are showing us the nature of our ways. And though at times seeing myself in others can be unbelievable, I accept it as a gift and make the corrections that is needed for me to change who/what I have become to who I am as life and live a Life that is best for all.

For this; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when seeing myself in others not realize that I have also said; “I’m mad as hell”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when seeing myself in others not realize that I have also said; “You did this to me”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other for doing unto me what I was well aware of accepting to be done unto myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when seeing myself in other not realize that I have also said; “I need a drink”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought I needed a drink to help me cope with life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when seeing myself in others not realize that I have also said; “That wasn’t me, I didn’t do that”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when seeing myself in others not realize that I have also said; “Let’s mess with them”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have messed with others out of pure spite in which I classified as fun and games.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when seeing myself in others not realize that I have also said; “If somebody messes with me, I’ll do this and that to them”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest conflicting situations by saying; “If somebody messes with me, I’ll do this and that to them”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when seeing myself in others not realize that I have also said; “Why are you starting shit”, when it was I who initiated it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when seeing myself in others not realize that I have also said; “Look at them over there, doing what they’re doing”, either out of envy, jealousy or just plain ole hatting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when seeing myself in others not realize that I have also said; “They/You make me sick”, only because whomever didn’t go along with my self-interested ideas and/or I didn’t get my way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when seeing myself in others not realize that I have also said; “Nobody loves me” as in experiencing the emotion of self-pity, which in actuality was me begging/pleading for attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when seeing myself in others not realize that I have also “Argued” and “Yelled” at others just to get my self-interested point across.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “Argue” and “Yell” at others in the belief that I was getting my self-interested point across, not realizing that I was just making matters worse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when seeing myself in others not realize that I have also said; “That’s mine don’t touch it”, as in claiming what the earth gives freely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to claim as mine things that has come from the earth, which should be labeled as ours.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when seeing myself in others not realize that I have also said; “No, you can’t have any” as in either being selfish, spiteful, greedy or plainly not wanting to share.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when seeing myself in others as in the aforementioned expressions abdicate my responsibility as in denying that I ever was like that, because I admit, it was a hard reflection to look at and accept as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a collective whenever I have seen people who for some reason or another are not in alignment with the “normal standards” of social acceptance, have a tendency to turn face and go the other way as if what they’re going through is contagious and will rub off on me in some way or another.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize this is one of the biggest misnomers as in not considering that person to be myself, and my “Actions” shows it, where I intentionally put on the “Act of Shunning” another at the first sign of indifference.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, growing up, although I didn’t see people as “crazy”, as I grew older I became one of those crazy people, from the sense of becoming ornery whenever I didn’t get my way with things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become ornery when I didn’t get my way with things.

When and as I see myself when seeing myself in others not realizing that I have also said the same things that I am hearing others say to me, I stop and breathe and face myself as in what is being shown to me by me in what I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become. I realize that I have separated me from myself for so long that it’s a hard reflection to look at and accept as me, but I must in order to correct and change myself from what I have become to who I am as life.

I commit myself to accepting seeing myself in others as a gift and to make the correction that is needed for me to change who/what I have become to who I am as life and live a life that is best for all.

When and as I see myself messing with others out of pure spite and classifying it as fun and games, I stop and breathe. I realize that I have defined hurting another and or seeing another go through it or suffer as entertainment which is asinine and have not considered to place myself in their shoes and thus have manifest the same on myself as a consequence.

I commit myself to consider myself as another in placing myself in their shoes when speaking, directing and approaching another and to only do onto others what I would like to be done unto me.

When and as I see myself becoming envious and jealous of what others are doing, I stop and breathe and tell myself (hypothetically speaking) to “Get a life” as in stay out of other people’s business as their process is theirs and you have yours. I realize that it is engrained as sand on the beach within me to “Pry” into others business as in shifting taking responsibility for myself off on someone else in looking at what they’re doing when all I am doing is prolonging the inevitable.

I commit myself to staying within the parameter of being with breath in every moment and focusing on my process and leaving others to their vices.

When and as I see myself experiencing the emotion of self-pity, I stop and breathe and give myself attention. I realize that this happen because I am searching, seeking, looking for attention because I am not being intimate with myself enough, so I believe that something externally outside of myself can fill that void, which is impossible because as a whole there is nothing external, so I need to investigate this energy that I “feel” the need to chase and become more in – to – me.

I commit myself to self-intimacy and no longer chase my tail around in a circle so to speak, but realize that I have always been a part of me.

When and as I see myself “Arguing’ and “Yelling at others in the belief that I am getting my self-interested point across, I stop and breathe and say; “Interesting” in observing myself (Hypothetically speaking) looking at myself in the mirror disagreeing with myself that I look the same, which is insanity. I realize the extent of spitefulness that I have grown accustom to and have perpetuated against others to no resolve, in which plenty of my relationships has dissolved because of this. Something has to give.

I commit myself to listening, assessing and communicating effectively as a two way road with others in really getting to know a person for who they really are and not just faced based.

I commit myself to taking responsibility when seeing myself in others as what they are showing me as myself, although it is a hard reflection to look at and accept as me, but yet I will persist.

When and as I see myself as a collective whenever I have seen people who for some reason or another are not in alignment with the “normal standards” of social acceptance, have a tendency to turn face and go the other way as if what they’re going through is contagious and will rub off on me in some way or another, I stop and breathe and tell myself; “How dare you”? I realize this is one of the biggest misnomers as in not considering that person to be myself, and my “Actions” shows it, where I intentionally put on the “Act of Shunning” another at first sign of indifference, and not realizing that by doing so I am manifesting a role reversal to take place, so I may see what I have done.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to separate myself from others as I see them, but instead to change my thoughts/words/deeds/actions to reflect my disagree with what I have accepted and allowed this world to become and my forward movement in changing this world to a place that is best for all life by starting with myself.

About carltontedford

In Process.
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