Day 169: Private

pRIVATEIn this post I’m having a look at the word private and how I see it as the most disregarded opposite use of any word that is believed to be what it is but it isn’t, and the obviousness of this disregard is right in front of our faces within the word itself. But it is still seen as a safe, exclusive, individualized, personalized, specialized prefix to things in this world that we feel the need to separate ourselves from others with, such as; “Private Browsing”, “Private Internet Access”, “Private Banking”, Private Clubs”, “Private Gyms”, “Private Memberships”, the use of “Private Investigators”, “Private Parties”, “Private Schools”, “Private lines” and “Private Property” just to name a few.

When sounding out the word Private, two (2) words sticks out to me, the word “Pry” as in “Prying Eyes” and the word “Vet” as in Vetting ones history or background, which is a process commonly used for/on someone that seeks any form of employment in any field (as well as other things). This is interesting because in plain sight whoever create the privacy to, let’s say the “Private Club” or “Private Membership” group has complete access to all your private information and another thing to consider is that in order to become a member of these establishments one has to be “Vetted”, so in all actuality the question that should be raised is; Is Private really Private or is it a place for Prying Eyes to Vet you without us being aware of it because we are too intrigued with the exclusivity of the word “Private”. This is one of those things that make you go Hmmm.

Another aspect to Private or privacy is when a child wants their privacy to explore and figure things out on their own, which for some parents screams intervention and others acceptance. In either case if a child is asking for privacy then a lack of communication is being perpetuated by the parents.

Throughout my life starting with growing up, being that we had a pretty big family, the only private times, privacy I had was in the bathroom because I shared a room with my brothers so everything was out in the open. Things changed when I left home and was out on my own, where being Private was a must because now no one was around to tell me what I could or couldn’t do, not realizing that the downside to being private was/is seclusion where I had grown so accustom to being Private that I created this aloneness for myself which is a lonely place to be, but on the other hand when it came to “Clubs” and “Memberships” I wanted to be part of that whole “Private Exclusive Network”, so I created a character to fit in and classified myself as special and from then on whenever any private function, parties or things of that nature came up I had to be there because I was now living my life in separation from the whole, thinking/perceiving/believing that I was special or better than others, not realizing that everything that I viewed as being private or my private life was now open to “Prying Eyes” and “Vetting”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of the word Private as a safe,
exclusive, individualized, personalized, specialized prefix to things in this world that I feel the need to separate myself from others with, such as; “Private Browsing”, “Private Internet Access”, “Private Banking”, “Private Clubs”, Private Gyms”, “Private Memberships”, the use of “Private Investigators”, Private Parties”, “Private Schools”, “Private lines” and “Private Property” just to name a few.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I felt the need to separate myself from others with the use of the word “Private”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from others with the use of the word Private

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word private as; something setting me apart, above or on a platform as more special than others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider until now within the sounding of the word Private two (2) words that sticks out at me the word “Pry” as in “Prying Eyes” and the word “Vet” as in Vetting ones history or background, which is a process commonly used for/on someone that seeks any form of employment in any field (as well as other things).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too intrigued with the exclusivity of the word “Private” to realize that Private is not really Private.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I left home and was out on my own embrace being Private as a must because no one was around to tell me what I could or couldn’t do, not realizing that the downside to being private was/is seclusion where I had grown so accustom to being Private that I created this aloneness for myself which is a lonely place to be.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that the downside to being private is seclusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have grown so accustom to being private that I created this aloneness for myself which is a lonely place to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a character to fit in to the whole “Private Exclusive Network” of “Clubs” and “Membership” and classified myself as special and from then on whenever any private functions, parties or things of that nature came up I had to be there because I was now living life in separation from the whole, thinking/perceiving/believing that I was special or better than others, not realizing that everything that I viewed as being private or my private life was now open to “Prying Eyes” and “Vetting”.

When and as I see myself thinking of the word Private as a safe, exclusive, individualized, personalized, specialized prefix to things of this world that I feel the need to separate myself from others with, such as; “Private Browsing”, “Private Internet Access”, “Private Banking”, “Private Clubs”, “Private Gyms”, “Private Memberships”, the use of “Private Investigators”, “Private Schools”, “Private Lines”, and “Private Parties” just to name a few, I stop and breathe and see all the Lies as Lies from individual-Lies to personal-Lies to special-Lies all being perpetuated through and as separation where, I have –placed myself as better than others because I believed that my life and the things I did was “Private” when in fact they wasn’t.

I commit myself to no longer believing in a Privatized Lie, because this shows that I am blind to the fact that “Prying Eye” has always been in my life.

I commit myself to no longer separating myself from others with the use of the word Private or any other for that matter and to instead live what is best for all in equality and oneness.

When and as I see myself defining the word Private as; something setting me apart, above or no a platform as more special than others, I stop and breathe. I realize that this definition in itself is a complete abdication of my responsibility where I think that within the word private I am able to hide my shortcoming, downfalls and mistakes, not realizing that I was purposely exposing myself to see/realize/understand and correct the nature of my ways, being that “Prying Eyes” has always been in my life, reflecting back to me what I “tried” to hide.

I commit myself to “Man Up” and take responsibility for trying to privatize a Lie and to forgive myself for the separation I tried to deny.

I commit myself to realizing the definition of Private within the sounding of the word; “Pry” as in “Prying Eyes” and “Vet” as in “Vetting” ones history or background which is a process commonly used for/on one that seeks any form of employment in any field, meaning in which case Private is a place for Prying Eyes to Vet me without me being aware of it because, I was too intrigued with the exclusivity of the word Private.

When and as I see myself embracing being private as a must, I stop and breathe. I realized that the downside to being private was/is seclusion, where I had grown so accustom to being private that I created this aloneness for myself, which is a lonely place to be.

I commit myself to exposing the delusion of being Private you see because in actuality nothing is really private.

I commit myself to no longer creating a character to fit in to any Private anything and to Re-Define the word Private from that of; “belonging to or for the use of one particular person or group of people only in separation to that of; the acceptance of “Prying Eyes” to do their “Vetting” because I have nothing to hide.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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2 Responses to Day 169: Private

  1. kimamourette says:

    interesting investigation into the word Private and quite eye opening, thanks for sharing Carlton!

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