Day 155: Intentions

“I intended to do this or that, but I didn’t”. “He/she/They have good Intentions”. “At least my Intentions was good”, but it didn’t turn out “right”. “I didn’t intend to do that or hurt you”, meaning I didn’t consider the affect that my actions would have on you. Why is it that whenever Intentions are involved someone or something gets screwed up? “That wasn’t the idea or the plan”.Intentions

in•ten•tion From Wikipedia

is a mental state that represents a commitment to carry out an action or actions in the future. Intention involves mental activities such as planning and forethought.

What’s wrong with this picture? When looking at the word Intention what stand out to me are two (2) words which are “Internal” and “Tension”. This is a conflict waiting to happen for the simple fact that internal tension = internal turmoil + being a mental state which involves mental activities such as planning and forethought, is an ingredients list for disaster. In the end we have no Idea why or how our intentions fall through. So why/how then, do we apologies for our Intentions when we intended to do what we did? This brings me to the point of being present as in where am I? If I’m not HERE, I’m not directing myself, but instead accepting and allowing my mind to direct me into carrying out actions with plenty of forethought, why’ll going through internal turmoil, and that’s when/why we start explaining our Intentions to others, as in the aforementioned statements.

So the question is; have I really ever intended to do anything? Being that whenever I have intended to do something, I would never follow through with it and when I had done something it didn’t turn out how I intended (per se) or has it always been my mind directing me with Intentions? Looking back throughout my life, I see that each time I’ve used the word intention it was connected with an apologetic undertone to it, as in after the fact of my actions, where all of my Intentions were either based on a desire or a belief of a desire, purely out of self-interest. What I have done is I have created a pattern of taking my “Internal Tension/Internal Turmoil” and placing it within my actions/plan of actions which in turned caused friction/conflict within my relationships. Thus I felt the need to apologize for my Intentions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make statements such as “I intended to do this or that, but I didn’t”. “He/she/They have good Intentions”. “At least my Intentions was good”, but it didn’t turn out “right”. “I didn’t intend to do that or hurt you”, meaning I didn’t consider the affect that my actions would have on you as excuses of intent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that whenever Intentions are involved someone or something gets screwed up and I say; “That wasn’t the idea or the plan”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize when looking at the word Intentions from the perspective of what stands out to me are two (2) words which are “Internal’ and “Tension”, that this is a conflict waiting to happen for the simple fact that internal tension = internal turmoil + being a mental state which involves mental activities such as planning and forethought, is an ingredients list for disaster.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the end have no idea why or how my intentions fall through and not investigate why/how then, do I apologize for my Intentions when I intended to do what I did?

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the point of being present as in where am I and if I’m not HERE, I’m not directing myself, but instead accepting and allowing my mind to direct me into carrying out actions with plenty of forethought.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my mind direct me into carrying out actions with plenty of forethought, why’ll going through internal turmoil and not realize that that’s when/why I start explaining my Intentions to others, as in the aforementioned statements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ask myself the question; have I really ever intended to do anything, being that whenever I have intended to do something, I would never follow through with it and when I have done something it didn’t turn out how I intended (per se).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to direct me with Intentions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect my usage of the word Intentions with that of an apologetic undertone to it, as in after the fact of my actions, where all of my Intention were either based on a desire or a belief of a desire, purely out of self-interests.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand what I have done by creating a pattern of taking my “Internal Tension/Internal Turmoil” and placing it within my actions/plan of actions which in turned caused friction/conflict within my relationships. Thus I felt the need to apologies for my Intentions.

When and as I see myself having Intentions to do anything, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that by having Intentions I have created a pattern of taking my “Internal Tension/Internal Turmoil” and placing it within my actions/plan of actions which in turned caused friction/conflict within my relationships and thus I end up feeling the need to apologize for my Intentions.

I commit myself to redefining the word intention from a mental state that represents a commitment to carry out and action or actions in the future which involves mental activities such as planning and forethought to paying attention to what I am planning and or enacting so that my action are that which is best for all life in all ways.

I commit myself to no longer letting my mind direct me with Intentions, but instead to direct myself, words/ways/deeds and actions to that which is best for all life.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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One Response to Day 155: Intentions

  1. Pingback: Day 370: Intentions Pt. 2 | Carlton's 7 Year Journey to Life

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