Day 142: Faking Things to Get Attention

Faking-being-sickHow many times have you faked things to get attention from other such as an injury or being sick under the weather, a back or stomach ache the list goes on? This usually happens in relationships where one or the other partner plays off of the feelings/emotions of the other to get what they want or their way when they think their partner is not paying them enough attention and /or thinking you are about to lose your partner, that’s when we go into our minds and find a legitimate time when we were sick under the weather or had an injury and the attention that we got from our partner taking care of us and longing for that attention once again.

The last few days I have been what some may call “under the weather” where I experience a runny nose, scratchy throat and slight cough which brought up past memories of when I was in a relationship and experienced being on both ends of Faking Things to Get Attention where whenever me or my past partner was sick under the weather (which was far and few in-between) we took care of each other, but when we had separated and was off and on, that’s when I experienced Faking Things to Get Attention as in wanting to rekindle an old flame so to speak, which really didn’t work and only perpetuated our separation even more.

Of course this is no longer how I think, being that I know how the mind operates now, but is a pattern that I have followed throughout my life from time to time stemming from my childhood where whenever I was sick under the weather, I would be babied and didn’t have to do things, so that stuck with me. So for this;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself have faked things to get attention from others such as and exaggerated injury when I was in the military and being sick under the weather, a back or stomach ache.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in a past relationship attempted to play off of the feelings/emotions of my partner to get what I wanted and my way when I thought my partner wasn’t paying me enough attention and was on the verge of losing my partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fake things to get attention from a past partner where I would go into my mind and find a legitimate time when I was sick under the weather and the attention I got from that partner taking care of me and longed for that attention once again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bring up past memories of when I was in a relationship and experienced being on both ends of Faking Things to Get Attention as in wanting to rekindle and old flame so to speak, where when we had separated and was off and on, I faked being sick under the weather to get attention from that partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fake being sick to get attention from a past partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow a pattern of Faking Things to Get Attention throughout my life from time to time stemming from my childhood where whenever I was sick under the weather, I would be babied and didn’t have to do things, so that stuck with me.

When and as I see myself faking things to get attention from others such as and injury or being sick under the weather, a back or stomach ache, I stop and breathe. I see/.realize/understand that by faking to get attention I am manifesting the injury, sickness, back or stomach ache onto myself which is abusive to my body.

I commit myself to no longer manifesting injury, sickness, back or stomach ache onto myself by faking it to get attention. I commit myself to no longer abusing my body in doing so. I commit myself to attending to my own wellbeing and no longer go outside of myself in search for attention from others to make well my being as I can only do that for myself.

When and as I see myself attempting to play off of the feelings/emotions of others in a relationship to get what I want or my way when I think someone is not giving me enough attention, I stop and breathe and look within myself to see what is it that I believe I’m lacking then write it out and give that which I believe I lack to myself.

I commit myself to no longer Faking Things to Get Attention and going into my mind and bringing up a memory of a person when they were showing me attention and longing for that attention once again, but instead to see/realize/understand that the past is long gone and the present is here and now and by wanting to re-live, re-experience these past memories of getting attention, I am wasting valuable time from getting to know myself.

I commit myself to no longer faking being sick under the weather to get attention from others but instead to sort myself out effectively.

When and as I see myself following a pattern of Faking Things to Get Attention stemming from my childhood where whenever I was sick under the weather, I would be babied and didn’t have to do things, so that stuck with me, I stop and breathe and correct my application immediately as this will only lead to aloneness.

I commit myself to no longer Faking Things to Get Attention from others but to instead give that attention that I seek to myself as in becoming more self-intimate with myself.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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