Day 140: Getting Stuck

Getting-StuckFrom time to time throughout my process I get to a point of thinking/perceiving/believing that I am Getting Stuck, meaning sometimes when I go to write my Journey To Life blog, I sit down and nothing comes up, although I think about things to write about beforehand sometimes, again nothing comes up. I eventually get through the point where I end up writing about something that I see within my life that I have participated in in the past which is cool because this is self-movement, but the times that there seems to be nothing to write about, a feeling of frustration and incompetence comes up where I feel as if there is something that I am missing or just can’t get things “right”.

On the subject of incompetence, there have been many of times throughout my life that I have felt incompetent where no matter how much I would try to get something as in comprehending something it just wouldn’t resonate with me (I didn’t make sense out of the thing). It’s like as if I needed someone to grab my hand and walk me through the thing step by step and then I would finally get it to the point where I would be able to teach or show others the thing in its specificity.

Within this I see and realize that I am not applying myself and haven’t been throughout my life at times which back then was understandable and unacceptable at the same time because I didn’t realize about my mind, so I have engrained this pattern of thinking/perceiving/believing that I was incompetent at certain things and used this as an excuse to give up on things at times unless I was walked through it hand and hand step by step and within that I see how I have suppressed (withheld) plenty of things within and as me such as built up frustration and anger because I didn’t have anyone who I could be totally open and frank with as to what I was experiencing, and also I let this stop me from asking crucial questions about things that I didn’t know or didn’t comprehend in that moment, out of the fear of being laughed at or seen as dumb for asking questions. So the solution to Getting Stuck is to write it out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to from time to time throughout my process think/perceive/believe that I am Getting Stuck, meaning sometimes when I go to write my Journey To Life blog, I sit down and nothing comes up although I think about things to write about beforehand sometimes, again nothing comes up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to at the times that there seems to be nothing to write about, accept and allow the feeling of frustration and incompetence to come up, where I feel as if there is something that I am missing or just can’t get things “right”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated because I thought/perceived/believed that there was nothing to write about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel incompetent where I feel as if there is something I am missing or just can’t get things “right” when and as I think/perceive/believe that there is nothing to write about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have felt incompetent plenty of time throughout my life where no matter how much I would try to get something as in comprehending something it just wouldn’t resonate with me (I didn’t make sense out of the thing).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel as if I needed someone to grab my hand and walk me through the thing step by step to be able to comprehend it and then I would finally get it to the point where I would be able to teach or show others the thing in its specificity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engrain this pattern of thinking/perceiving/believing that I was incompetent at certain things and used this as an excuse to give up on things at times, unless I was walked through it hand and hand step by step and within that I see how I have suppressed (withheld) plenty of things within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress (withhold) plenty of things within and as me such as built up frustration and anger because I didn’t have anyone who I could be open and frank with as to what I was experiencing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress built up frustration and anger inside me because I didn’t have anyone who I could be open and frank with as to what I was experiencing, and also, I let this stop me from asking crucial questions about things that I didn’t know or didn’t comprehend in that moment, out of the fear of being laughed at or seen as dumb for asking questions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop myself from asking crucial questions about things that I didn’t comprehend in that moment, out of fear of being laughed at or seen as dumb for asking questions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being laughed at or seen as dumb for asking question, not realizing that I was just hurting myself by not asking questions and thus suppressed things to the point of not comprehending them.

When and as I see myself thinking/perceiving/believing that I am Getting Stuck, meaning sometimes when I go to write my Journey to Life blog and sit down and nothing comes up, although I think about things to write beforehand sometimes, again nothing comes up, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that in times such as these I am not applying myself and thinking and waiting for things to come to me when all I have to do is just start writing and realize that the inspiration is inside me.

I commit myself to when and as I get stuck throughout my process when I am going to write my Journey to life blog, to just start writing and no longer think and wait for something to come to me as all the inspiration that I need is already here within and as me.

When and as I see myself becoming frustrated and feeling incompetent where I feel as if there is something that I am missing or just can’t get things “right”, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that frustration will only escalate and perpetuate the experience that I am having in that moment and the feeling of incompetence is because I am excusing the point of not applying myself effectively which is also useless as to what I am experiencing.

I commit myself to applying myself effectively so that these moments don’t turn into the feeling of frustration and incompetency and if they do to forgiving them when and as these feelings come up within and as me.

When and as I see myself feeling as if I can’t comprehend something, I stop and breathe and ask question to understand what it is I am not allowing myself to comprehend, as I see/realize/understand that in order to comprehend things I must ask questions and not take it upon to just wing it as this will only perpetuate my frustration.

I commit myself to asking questions and no longer take it upon myself to just sit back and suppress things but instead to get to the bottom of things in understanding what I am doing, that way I cut down on the mistakes that I make.

When and as I see myself following the pattern of thinking/perceiving/believing that I am incompetent at certain things and use this as an excuse to give up on things at times, unless I am walked through it hand and hand step by step and within that I see how I have suppressed (withheld) plenty of things within and as me, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that I am not incompetent and use this excuse to perpetuate not having to apply myself at things which ends up with me suppressing things.

I commit myself to no longer thinking/perceiving/believing that I am incompetent but instead to apply myself and no longer suppress things within and as me, but instead to ask questions related to the subject matter to get a full/complete understanding of the subject matter at hand.

When and as I see myself suppressing (withholding) plenty of things such as built up frustration and anger because I don’t have anyone who I can be open and frank with as to what I am experiencing, I stop and breathe. I realize that suppression is abusive to my body and limiting to my beingness and in order for me to be open and frank with someone I first have to become open and frank and self-honest with myself to see who I really am and have become. I also realize that the frustration and anger is because I am not self-honest with myself.

I commit myself to no longer suppressing frustration and anger within and as me, but instead to open myself up to myself and become self-honest with myself so that I no longer abuse my body and limit my beingness, but instead to get to the point where I am expressing my utmost potential at any given moment.

When and as I see myself fearing being laughed at or seen as dumb and therefore don’t ask questions, I stop and breathe and laugh at myself because this is ridiculous from the perspective of there being no other way to get answers on any particular subject that I am not comprehending except to ask questions.

I commit myself to no longer fearing asking questions and when and as this fear comes up within and as me to forgive myself for this fear and assist myself by asking questions about what I am not accepting and allowing myself to comprehend.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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