Day 139: The Thrill of the Chase

tHE-THRILL-OF-THE-CHASEWithin relationships you often find what I call The Thrill of the Chase where throughout the relationship one or the other partner momentarily lose interest in the other which starts The Thrill Of the Chase as in now the other partner starts chasing after the partner that momentarily lost interest and the reason I say momentarily is because soon enough the table will turn within the same relationship. Let me explain.

What happens is either one or the other partners starts to receive a lot of attention in their outside life (outside of the relationship) either at work or when with friends and they start to become comfortable with, let’s say the comments, remarks and or conversations they have with others to the point of things seeming easy where they start thinking; “Man if I didn’t have a girlfriend/boyfriend/partner, it would be easy to find/get someone new and so since they have just created this thought in their minds they start playing out the scenario in their mind as in assuming; “what if I didn’t have a girlfriend/boyfriend/partner, life would be so much simpler” and start to believe it. Now when we get back to our partner we start to act on our assumption towards them without telling them what’s really going on in our minds, but instead we began to nitpick at every little thing they do, just to start and argument with them so we will have an excuse to leave/go and “Clear our Head” per se, but in all actuality we seek the freedom of experiencing the attention that we received from others once again. The other partner is now left standing there dumb founded as in wondering what the hell just happen and what did I do to deserve/receive this attitude from my partner and now because they are lost as to why this is happening they begin, The Thrill of the Chase as in chasing after attention from their partner, thinking that they did something “wrong”.

This goes on for a why’ll until (1), the partner realize that they didn’t do anything “wrong” and become tired of chasing and goes off and do their own thing and (2), the initial partner’s attention getting days runs out at which time they wake up and realize that it was all a facade and that’s when the tables turn. In that moment of realization the initial partner also realize that they’re not being chased anymore by their partner and goes into frantic frenzy thinking about what they have done, and once they go back to their partner they find that their partner is now the distant one, at which time they begin they’re Thrill of the Chase. This continues back and forth until one partner leaves the other and sometimes even then the chase doesn’t stop.

In a past relationship I experienced The Thrill Of The Chase to the extreme where at one point in my relationship I went away and when I got back everything had changed from the perspective of my partner being distant towards me which lead to our separation by no choice of mine and during that time I started to become comfortable being alone and wasn’t paying much attention to what my partner was doing, so they began to chase after me and of course since I had gotten comfortable being alone or might I say away from them, I didn’t particularly want to go back as by then I had made some new friends and was playing “hard” to get so to speak.

This soon died down as my partner stop chasing and the tables turned and I started to chase after my partner to the extent of me begging for their attention at which time I received a phone call from a family member asking me what I was doing, so I told them and they proceeded to snapped me out of it and back to reality. This is not something that you want to experience in a relationship, so for this;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been on both ends of The Thrill of the Chase where I have been the one being chased and the one chasing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in a past relationship let my partner chase after me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in a past relationship receive a lot of attention from others in my outside life (outside of my relationship) and start becoming comfortable with the attention I received to the point of things seeming easy where I started thinking; “Man if I didn’t have a partner, it would be easy to fine/get someone new and since I created this thought in my mind I started playing out the scenario in my mind as in assuming; “what if I didn’t have a partner, life would be so much simpler” and stared to believe it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become comfortable with the attention I received from others outside of my relationship and say to myself; “Man if I didn’t have a partner, it would be easy to fine/get someone new”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this thought in my mind and start playing out the scenario in my mind as in assuming; “what if I didn’t have a partner, life would be so much simpler”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I got back to my partner act on my assumption towards my partner without telling them what was really going on in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have nitpicked at every little thing my partner did, just to start and argument with them so I will have an excuse to leave/go and “Clear my head” per se, but in all actuality I was seeking the freedom of experiencing the attention that I received from others once again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have started and argument with my partner as an excuse to leave/go and; “Clear my head”.

On the other hand;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in a past relationship chase after my partner where after being left standing there dumb founded as in wondering what the hell just happen and what did I do to deserve/receive this attitude from my partner begin The Thrill of the Chase as in chasing after attention from my partner thinking that I did something “wrong”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to chase after my partner to the extent of begging for their attention at which time I received a phone call from a family member asking me what I was doing, so I told them and they proceeded to snap me out of it and back to reality.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that within The Thrill of the Chase, what goes around comes around and by being chased or chasing someone I am accepting and allowing myself to have and chase an energetic experience which ends in me reacting emotionally and is not productive to the wellbeing of any relationship.

When and as I see myself being on either end of The Thrill of the Chase where I am being chased by my partner or chasing my partner, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that within The Thrill of the Chase, what goes around comes around and by being chased or chasing someone I am accepting and allowing myself to have and chase an energetic experience which ends in me reacting emotionally and is not productive to the wellbeing of any relationship.

I commit myself to no longer chasing anyone and as in a potential relationship but instead if the relationship gets to the point of either me or my partner becomes distant to sit down and talk it out with my partner and figure out the best plan of act to take that will be best for the both of us.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow anyone within my relationship with them to chase after me.

When and as I see myself if in a relationship start thinking; “Man what if I didn’t have a partner”, I stop and breathe and check my starting point for entering that relationship write it out and then talk it out with my partner.

When and as I see myself creating thoughts in my mind and start playing out the scenario in my mind and believing it, I stop and breathe. I realize that at that point I have given permission to my mind to possess me in which I start to believe this possession is real.

I commit myself to no longer accepting and allowing mind to possess me but instead to stop the thoughts when and as they come up in the moment.

When and as I see myself acting on my assumptions towards other in a relationship or with a potential partner, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that my assumptions is not real and all made up and to perpetuate them unto others is an act of cruelty which in turn I am perpetuating abuse unto my body.

I commit myself to no longer let my assumptions get the best of me and no longer assuming anything about anyone but instead when and as the thought comes up to stop it in the moment of inception by applying self-forgiveness and to walk the corrective action of this SC statement.

When and as I see myself starting and argument as an excuse to leave/go and “Clear my head”, I stop and breathe and ask myself W.T.F. are you doing. I realize that this is an excuse to not have to explain myself and/or my actions.

I commit myself to no longer starting and argument in the first place with anyone and to communicate effectively with others as in explaining how I really feel to them to stop the long line of consequences that will come from the choices I make.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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