Day 137: Rough Waters

Rough-watersWhen a person is out on a boat at sea often time they run into Rough Waters where the waves become destructive and if they are not careful the boat may capsize and in most cases the captain has to stop the boat regain his bearing and proceed once the waves die down or the storm passes, then he continues on with his heading, not once turning back around and going home, he persist until he reaches his destination.

This is how I am experiencing my process, sort of like the above mentioned analogy where the person is me and the Rough Waters is the accumulation of thoughts/feelings/emotions that is constantly/continuously coming up in waves throughout my day seeking to destroy any progress that I have made in my process and set me back to square one, where if I don’t stop myself in the moment and breathe to regain my focus and continue walking my process, I experience the feeling of wanting to give up. Not going to happen.

There are times when I believe that I am absolutely certain that the reason why something is is because of what I have created in my mind where I believe my mind so much to the point of reacting to my own thoughts. It’s like it seems so real and once I finally realize that I am just making this up the damage is already done, meaning (hypothetically speaking) I have let myself get capsized by the wave of thoughts that came up seemingly out of nowhere and if I continue to let this happen I will eventually end up giving in to the Rough Waters and experience the feeling of wanting to give up.

So the thing is to stay focus and when the trigger thoughts that will lead you into the Rough Waters comes up, stop yourself and breathe to regain your bearings and re-direct yourself to the best possible outcome, that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience Rough Waters as the accumulation of thoughts/feelings/emotions that is constantly/continuously coming up in waves throughout my day seeking to destroy any progress that I have made in my process and set me back to square one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the accumulation of thoughts/feelings/emotions to constantly/continuously come up within and as me throughout my day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed these thoughts/feelings/emotions to have set me back to square one in my process a few times and not stop them the moment they came up by applying self-forgiveness for them in the moment.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to apply self-forgiveness for the thoughts/feelings/emotions the moment they came up.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stop these thoughts/feelings/emotions in the moment and breathe to regain my focus and continue walking my process and thus I experienced the feeling of wanting to give up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to at times believe that I am absolutely certain that the reason why something is is because of what I have created in my mind where I believe my mind to the point of reacting to my own thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my mind to the point of reacting to my own thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my own thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that what I have created in my mind seem so real and once I finally realize that I am just making this up the damage is done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create things in my mind and believe them to be so real and thus the damage is done, meaning (hypothetically speaking) I have let myself get capsized by the wave of thoughts that came up seemingly out of nowhere and if I continue to let this happen I will eventually end up giving in to the Rough Waters and experience the feeling of wanting to give up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to (hypothetically speaking) let myself get capsize by the wave of thoughts that came up seemingly out of nowhere.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience the feeling of wanting to give up.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that the thing is to stay focus and when the trigger thoughts that will lead me into the Rough Waters comes up, stop myself and breathe to regain my bearings and re-direct myself to the best possible outcome, that which is best for all life.

When and as I see myself experiencing Rough Waters as the accumulation of thoughts/feelings/emotion that is constantly/continuously coming up in waves throughout my day seeking to destroy any progress that I have made in my process and set me back to square one, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that the “Rough Waters” will come from time to time throughout my process and the thing is to stay focus and when the trigger thoughts that will lead me into the Rough Waters comes up, stop myself and breathe to regain my bearings and re-direct myself to the best possible outcome, that which is best for all life.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing the accumulation of thoughts/feelings/emotions to constantly/continuously come up within and as me throughout my day, I stop and breathe and forgive myself for these thoughts/feelings/emotions. I see/ realize/understand that I need to be more persistent in stopping these thoughts by being self-honest with myself and catching them as they come up.

I commit myself to being more persistent and self-honest with myself in stopping each thought as they come up so they won’t accumulate into “Rough Water”.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing these thoughts/feeling/emotions to set me back to square one, I stop and breathe and realize I am not directing myself.

I commit myself to no longer letting thoughts/feelings/emotions set me back in my process but instead to direct myself in every moment of breath.

I commit myself to applying self-forgiveness for the thoughts/feelings/emotions the moment they come up.

I commit myself to maintaining my focus and continuing walking my process.

When and as I see myself believing that I am absolutely certain that the reason why something is is because of what I have created in my mind where I believe my mind to the point of reacting to my own thoughts, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that I am looking to blame others for what I am experiencing as in the position that I have placed myself in so I create this illusion to justify to myself things not being my fault for what I am experiencing.

I commit myself to no longer looking to blame others for what I am experiencing as in the position I placed myself in, but instead to walk through the consequence for placing myself in such position and correct my application.

I commit myself to no longer making things up in my mind as justification for myself in things not being my fault for what I am experiencing, but instead watch what I do in the first place.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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