Day 124: It Wasn’t Worth It

It-wasn't-worth-itThere is a pattern that I follow of putting myself in a compromising position to be tempted into doing something or another and falling into temptation. This happened to me recently where I accepted and allowed myself to be tempted into doing something and fell. It wasn’t worth it.

Although I knew what and what not to do, I took a chance and risked everything I’ve done to get myself to this point in my process just to fulfill a want/need/desire. Not taking into consideration the consequences that I was creating for myself, I made a spare of the moment decision forgoing everything that I’ve learned thus far in my journey to life, just to fulfill this want/need/desire and in the end I ended up feeling down because I realized that I have just set myself back within my process and have to work that much harder to get back to where I was. It wasn’t worth it.

In moments such as these where I sabotage myself, when it’s all said and done and looking back in hind sight at what I’ve done, I feel ashamed within myself for not listening to myself telling myself to stop and heed the warning signs. It wasn’t worth it.

This is something that I have to live with now as in the guilt of knowing that I should’ve/could’ve stopped myself but I didn’t. I gave into the temptation. It wasn’t worth it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow a pattern of putting myself in a compromising position to be tempted into doing something or another and falling into temptation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be tempted into doing something and fall.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into temptation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to although I knew what and what not to do, I took a chance and risked everything I’ve done to get myself to this point in my process, just to fulfill a want/need/desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take into consideration the consequences that I was creating for myself as I made a spare of the moment decision forgoing everything that I’ve learned thus far in my journey to life, just to fulfill this want/need/desire and in the end I ended up feeling down because I realized that I have just set myself back within my process and have to work that much harder to get back to where I was.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a spare of the moment decision forgoing everything that I’ve learned thus far in my journey to life, just to fulfill this want/need/desire.

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to feel down because I realized that I have just set myself back within my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set myself back within my process and have to work that much harder to get back to where I was.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself in my process and thus fall into temptation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed within myself for not listening to myself telling myself to stop and heed the warning signs. (This is not to condone my actions).

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to listen to myself telling myself to stop and heed the warning signs to not go into temptation, but instead I fell into temptation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty of knowing that I should’ve/could’ve stopped myself but I didn’t. I gave into temptation. It wasn’t worth it.

When and as I see myself putting myself in a compromising position to be tempted into doing something or another and falling into temptation, I stop and breathe, I see/realize/understand that in doing so I am taking a chance and risking everything I’ve done to get myself to this point in my process just to fulfill a want/need/desire in which I will end up feeling down because I then realize that I have set myself back within my process and have to work that much harder to get back to where I was.

I commit myself to no longer put myself in a compromising position to be tempted into doing something or another but instead when I see that a situation can be tempting, I breathe and focus on my process as I realize the outcome will set me back in my process.

I commit myself to no longer risking everything I’ve done to get myself to this point in my process just to fulfill a want/need/desire, but instead as the wants/needs/desires come up I forgive it in the moment and remain stable in walking my process.

I commit myself to no longer sabotaging myself in my process, but instead to become more self-aware and focused in my process as I see/realize/understand that awareness is only obtained went I stop my mind of thoughts/feeling/emotions throughout my day and then I am able to see solution instead of perpetuating problems all day.

I commit myself to stop myself from falling into temptation by breathing, listening to myself and heeding the warning sign as I see/realize/understand that It’s NOT Worth It.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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2 Responses to Day 124: It Wasn’t Worth It

  1. There is an interview about this subject: https://eqafe.com/p/coulda-shoulda-woulda-quantum-systemization-part-67 where in the difference is explained between ‘knowing’ something and actually living something, which needs a process to walk.

    I would not see it as a ‘fall back’ but more as a stepping into a new dimension and so, new insights about yourself and within this the opportunity to walk through, forgive, correct and change what has opened up. We constantly fall and stand up and walk further and here the judgements that we have about us ‘falling’ open up that we can work with. One can also look at the concept of failure within this. There is a cool text from Bernard about this: http://ademtochtnaarleven.blogspot.com/2013/03/failure-in-relation-to-soul-bernard.html

    Enjoy! 😉

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