Day 118: Follow Through

I am walking the point of following through with what I say that I’m going to do from the perspective of being a man of my word and if I can’t do what I said that I would do, then, I don’t say that I can do it.

Follow-ThroughWhat happens is, I will make a promise to someone to do something and then either forget to do it or do it “half assed”. Another thing is I would tell someone that I can do something for them then “try” and figure out how I would do it, after I said that I would do it. It’s like I am putting myself on the spot in order to either “look cool” in the eyes of that person or because I want something from that person, which is messed up because I lack the Follow Through as well as creating consequences for myself.

Now when it comes to following through with the promises/commitments I make to myself, I find myself wanting to go back and make amendments (Changes) to the initial promise/commitment I’ve made to myself, where I would say to myself; “It sounded like a good idea” but in the midst of it all the resistance start to set in and I end up not following through with the promise/commitment I’ve made for myself in that moment and believe me I end up feeling it (the consequences) and still have to follow through with it in the end. So why put myself through it, instead of just doing it? I haven’t allowed myself to see/realize/understand that this is not a game where I am able to get points or credit for saying that I did or will do something, but life where every broken self-promise/commitment all add up to self-abuse where I am disregarding my body and creating dramatic consequences for myself. And also to only promise/commit to what I am able and willing to promise/commit to, instead of experiencing the repercussions (consequences) for my actions or lack of taking action (Follow Through). And so:

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to Follow Through with what I say that I will do and not being a man of my word.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be a man of my word.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a promise to someone to do something and then either forget to do it or do it “Half assed”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell someone that I can do something for them then “try” and figure out how I would do it, after I said that I would do it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put myself on the spot in order to either “look cool” in the eyes of that person or because I want something from that person, which is messed up because I lack the Follow Through as well as creating consequences for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lack the Follow Through and create consequences for myself in the process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when it comes to following through with the promises/commitments I make for myself, I find myself wanting to go back and make amendment (Changes) to the initial promise/commitment I’ve made to myself where I would say to myself; “It sounded like a good idea” but in the midst of it all the resistance start to set in and I end up not following through with the promise/commitment I’ve made for myself in that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let resistance set in and I end up not following through with the promise/commitment I’ve made for myself in that moment and believe me I end up feeling it (the consequences) and still have to follow through with it in the end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put myself through it instead of just doing it (Follow Through).

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that this is not a game where I am able to get points or credit for saying that I did or will do something, but life where every broken self-promise/commitment all add up to self-abuse where I am disregarding my body and creating dramatic consequences for myself. And also to only promise/commit to what I am able and willing to promise/commit to, instead of experiencing the repercussions (consequences) for my actions or lack of taking action (Follow Through).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard my body whenever I didn’t “Follow Through” with the promises/commitments I made to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create dramatic consequences for myself whenever I didn’t “Follow Through” with the promises/commitments I made to myself.

When and as I see myself not following through with what I say that I will do and not being a man of my word, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that I am deceiving myself and abusing my body in the process as well as becoming untrustworthy to those that I have made a promise to.

I commit myself to no longer making promises that I am not able to Follow Through with and if I am able to Follow Through with it, to be a man of my word and keep the promise (Follow Through).

I commit myself to no longer deceiving myself and abusing my body from the perspective of making promises in order to “Look cool” in the eyes of others or because I want something from others but instead to only make promises that I can and will keep.

When and as I see myself not following through with the promises/commitment I make for myself and wanting to go back and make amendment (Changes) to the initial promise/commitment I’ve made to myself, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that this is life where every broken self-promise/commitment all add up to self-abuse where I am disregarding my body and creating dramatic consequences for myself. And also to only promise/commit to what I am able and willing to promise/commit to.

I commit myself to only promise/commit myself to what I am willing and able to walk as a promise/commitment to myself and no longer fuck with myself and to remain stable and Follow Through with the self-promises/commitments that I have and will make to myself.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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