Day 115: “You’ve been Down That Road Before”

(Although this is not the exact saying)

Been-down-thatroadWhen I saw this scene in the movie The Matrix I thought that it meant (in so many words) that he had (literally) been down that road before, so to me that was just another scene in the movie. As I am walking my process I have discovered the real meaning of; “You’ve been Down That Road Before”, from the perspective of following thoughts around in my head where I would follow it down that road (in my mind) leading to the past and once I get there (so to speak), that’s when I start reacting to these thoughts and past memories and wishing I could go back and change things.

It used to be where I couldn’t stop myself from going down that road (in my mind) and would become overwhelmed with thoughts/feelings/emotions, but now that I am realizing the nature of what I am doing/thinking (for the most part), I stop and tell myself; “You’ve been Down That Road Before”. This doesn’t mean that I am “miraculously” cured from following thoughts around in my mind, No and I do understand that this is a process that takes time and work as in working on oneself. This is merely to say that I am becoming more aware of my thought patterns and where my thoughts lead to. So all and all when and as I see myself going down or attempting to go down that road in my mind I stop and tell myself; “WTF are you doing, You’ve been Down That Road Before”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to although I’ve been down that road before in my mind, still find myself going down or attempting to go down that road in my mind over and over again, from the perspective of following thoughts around in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow thoughts around in my head where a thought would come up and I start to follow it down that road (in my mind) leading to the past and once I get there (so to speak), that’s when I start reacting to these thoughts and past memories and wishing I could go back and change things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to thoughts and past memories and wishing I could go back and change things instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that the past is long gone and I should let go unconditionally of the memories of my past and focus on the present, Here and Now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought that I couldn’t stop myself from going down that road (in my mind) and would become overwhelmed with thoughts/feelings/emotions, not realizing the nature of what I was doing to my physical body let alone, what was I thinking?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed with thoughts/feeling/emotions, when I thought that I couldn’t stop myself from going down that road in my mind.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by going down that road (in my mind) that leads to the past and bringing up past memories to be re-lived, I am creating a time loop/cycle for myself in which I am limiting myself to stick with what has been instead of lifting the veil so that I may see life as who I am and realize what it really means to Self-Express.

When and as I see myself constantly/continuously going down or attempting to go down that road in my mind over and over again from the perspective of following thoughts around in my head, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that by going down that road (in my mind) that leads to the past and bringing up past memories to be re-lived, I am creating a time loop for myself in which I am limiting myself to stick with what has been, instead of lifting the veil so that I may see life as who I am and realize what it really means to Self-Express.

I commit myself to no longer limit myself to sticking with what has been but instead to lift the veil so that I may see life as who I am and live the meaning of what it really means to Self-Express through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application and corrective living.

When and as I see myself reacting to thoughts and past memories and wishing I could go back and change things, I stop and breathe I see/realize/understand that the past is long gone and I should let go unconditionally of the memories of my past and focus on the present, Here and Now.

I commit myself to letting go of the memories of my past unconditionally and focusing on the present in every Here moment with breath.

When and as I see myself becoming overwhelmed with thoughts/feeling/emotions, I stop and breathe, I see/realize/understand that I can stop myself from going down that road in my mind as I have proven to myself, I also see/realize/understand the nature of what I am doing to my physical body.

I commit myself to taking from my own example of stopping myself from going down that road (in my mind) and enacting it each and every time I see that I am going down or attempting to go down that road (in my mind), until I no longer go down that road in my mind.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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